Why do Pisces keep coming back?
I dated a Pisces awhile back and it didn't work out. He swam away due to something embarrassing for him. Then he tried to come back but I was angry for his disappearing act so I didn't give him a chance. Since then, he has tried to come back into my life and get together. But then we have a power struggle about on who's terms we will get together (when I say so or when he says so) and then it always ends with me saying "let's forget it." And then he ALWAYS shows up again pretending as if everything's ok, only to repeat the same process. I don't know why someone would keep coming back to NOT get together. Does he even want to see me? Or do Pisces enjoy frustrating people? Is he scared of a confrontation? Are Pisces confused about what they want?
Can anyone help me to understand this as it's really bothering me? Any help would be much appreciated!
Pisces - is this how you are sometimes? Can you relate?
I don't have good experience with them either, but there wasn't anything romantic in it or at least I didn't want to. They sure are different from Aries or Sag, I never have to guess what these fire signs want. They say it as it is, if they want something everyone a mile away would know LOL love the aggressiveness and straightforwardness! a big turn on for me. I am married to a Cap, who happens to be less aggressive but still a go getter and straightfoward, definitely less drama involved. So that works fine for almost 9 years now I really don't have to guess much. I don't like guessing game anyway.
Your pisces, based on my own dealings with them, is determined to get you back. He does want to get together, but on his term, not yours, always. Most pisces I have dealt with, are like that. They will keep doing what they want to do, even if it's hurting others. But if someone stands up against them, they will stop, and come back only to show that they have changed (so that the person who stands up against them will accept them back or make him look like a fool) but in the end they will really just do the same thing. I talk to them sometimes, to see what they are thinking, and sometimes it just doesn't make sense. As if they don't want to hurt anyone, but they do anyway, so what's the point? might as well do what they did in the beginning, that alone already hurt others anyway. why bother withdrawing LOL
You have to be firm with him. He may go back and forth, but you don't have to go with his flow. If you are done with him, completely kick him out of your world. don't talk to him, don't reply to emails or calls, completely ignore him. Don't even look when he is in front of you, as if he doesn't exist. I find that when I do this, they get the message. It's different though, if you still have feelings for him then it's up to you. The thing with me is that if I'm done, I'm done. Even if I have feelings for the men, or I know they can be useful for me someday, I will not act on it and will look for another as soon as I can. I have this feeling that my life is too precious to spend in uncertainty, guessing games, drama etc So I never did spend it on men like this.
There are really nice pisces that I have met, but very few and somewhat fragile to my personality. I believe relationship has to be enjoyable by both. If I can't enjoy it, it's not healthy. If they can't enjoy it, because my personality might kill the dreams they have, then it's not healthy either. I figure that it's best to let the fish go and find his more suitable mate.
Hey Nisha...the name's Indian so 'Namaste' Well, I am a piscean female, just came across this topic of yours and decided to contribute whatever little I could ! Pisceans being watery in element have difficulty letting go of anyone/anything dear to them just like Cancerians, not to say they're possessive like Crabs though! I'd say ur Fish is probably coming back time and again to check if you've changed/mellowed to the extent he wants you to! Yes, Pisceans do have the tendency to assess others every now and then. Keeps us safe you know :):) I wouldn't want to agree to us being called 'selfish' in any way for every piscean I know of, have self-sacrificed for people they care for!! But yes, some of us can be fairly strong-headed and once decided what/who is good for us, we wouldn't rest until we get them. For all our sweet gentle mannerisms on the surface, there's a very sharp instinct and determination to compensate for Anyway, getting back to your situation, he's gonna keep coming back until you hurt his sensitive feelings. Do you really want him? Or are you better off w/o him being around...Work these things out and take your course of action. I think he cares for you Have you tried talking it out with him(one of the most difficult tasks to do with a fish i know).
P.S.- Yes, we do go back to people we care for!! And thats an endearing quality I've been told. And confrontations scare us the most so instead of being harsh or cruel with our loved ones, we'd simply escape into our blue waters till all's quiet again :):) The Fish are the easiest to be with...just balance it out being gentle and firm at the same time. Wish you relief and happiness.
Thank you to you both! This really helps me a lot. I just don't understand why things always have to be on their terms. I mean, if they are so free and easygoing, having to make things on terms seems sort of calculating to me. The thing is, when I want to get together, I get a no and even though he always reappears to ask again, I can't help but think if he really wanted to be with me, he'd go with the flow and go out when I say it's good for me. It's so confusing. I want to believe he's a "good Pisces" but I only see the bad right now.
that's why it depends on you. you are the one that have to be firm. if you don't like them anymore, don't show any sign you even care, since they do pick up emotions quickly they will know you still like them a bit and do what they always do.
They want it on their terms because they know you like them and they don't like you as much, or they have been hurt by someone else they may not really understand their own feeling right now. the females of this sign can be quite submissive to love, family etc but the males, I wouldn't be so sure about it. I am actually told they can be cold hearted to get what they want.
But if you still like them, then go with their terms, that seems to be the only way anyway.
I feel your frustration. The fish are a wonderful catch if you are only looking for friendship but can be very slippery otherwise. I too had mixed messages from a fish for ten years until I finely accepted he would never be anything to hold on to for too long and yes it will always be his call. They make you dizzy with their lack of committment though at the moment the energy feels so connected. The message here is "for the moment". I've learned to forgive my slippery fish friend for I don't think he really intends any malice--sometimes they just don't get it. They are who they are. In the moment, deeply sensitive and nurturing. Once they swim away they belong to that moment. I can't speak for all fish because they are not a carbon copy of each other and you have to figure in other variables like planets and childhood but this is my fish story and it sounded like yours if you find yourself saying, "how can someone so gentle, so caring at times be so "not there" when it really matters. My fish felt the need to swim off anytime the waters got less than peaceful. In that light they can seem very self centered.
I AM A LIBRA AND HAVE BEEN WITH A PISCEIS FOR A LITTLE OVER A YEAR NOW. IT HAS BEEN THE MOST TRYING TIME OF MY LIFE!!!! HE KNOWS WHAT HE WANTS AND HE GETS IT NO MATTER WHAT,,, ITS ONE OF THE THINGS I TOTALY ADORE ABOUT HIM. IVE HAD TO LEARN THAT ITS MY PLACE TO SET THE LIMITS ON HIS EGO AT HOME THOUGH. HE GETS BIG HEADED AND CAN BE VERY CRITICAL,, HE NEVER ADMITS TO HIS WRONGS UNLESS I HOLD MY GROUND. AT THE BEGINNING OF OUR RELATIONSHIP WE WERE VERY 'OFF-ON', I WOULD HAVE TO TAKE EXTREME MEASURES (BREAKING UP), JUST TO GET MY POINT ACROSS. HE WOULD COME BACK WITH APPOLOGIES, BUT THEN TRY TO TAKE THEM BACK ONCE BACK IN MY GOOD GRACES.
LIKE I SAID,, ITS BEEN ROUGH,, BUT I WOULDNT TRADE MY BABY FOR ANYTHING. IT TOOK A LONG TIME,,, BUT WE HAVE FOUND A WAY TO KEEP THE PEACE. KNOWING WHEN TO SAY WHAT IS KEY,, HE IS ALMOST MANIC IN HIS MOODS,, BUT MY MAIN ADVISE IS,,,, HOLD YOUR GROUND! DO NOT LET HIM CONVINCE YOU HE IS JUSTIFIED IN HIS WRONGS. A PISCIES IS VERY MANIPULATING, AND WILL EVEN BE PATIENT IN WORMING HIS WAY THROUGH YOUR MIND TO GET YOU TO CHANGE IT. A PISCIES IS DEFFINATLY NOT FOR THE WEAK MINDED,, HE WILL CONTROL WHAT HE CAN.
YOU DONT SEEM WEAK,, SO HOLD YOUR GROUND,, HE WILL ONLY GAIN MORE RESPECT FOR YOU,,, AND TO BE HONEST,, THATS WHY HE KEEPS COMING BACK! ONCE BACK,, HE TRYS TO CONTROL,, JUST KEEP YOUR GROUND,, IT WILL BE WORTH IT ONCE HE REALIZES YOUR BOUNDARYS AND ONCE YOUR ABLE TO LET HIM HAVE SOME SMALL VICTORIES.
hi my name is caroline, iam a pisces just reading up on comments.i think you will have to have a straight forword talk with him .even though he wont like this ,we are so senstive and soft we never mean things we do or say,as we really are very loving.but sturbon as heck ,so you need to be totally honest with him and at the same time let him know .you have bounderies as we are the dreamers so we drift into our ways.but he is not coming back for the fun of it .as we dont do that ,more like to me he is not getting his own way .so the ball is in your cord. c
From my experience a pisces man can be hard to get rid of. I felt like I was stuck in our marriage. I feel even more stuck since I've gotten out. I was married to my pisces 12 years; now legally seperated for two. I moved on with my life and I've began dating. He is convinced he'll win me back becauses we are still husb & wife. I don'g consider us legally married I am waiting for our divorce to be finalized. We have a son together and it makes it hard for me to totally ignore him. Being a scorpion with a pisces moon and cancer rising I thought he might be my soul mate. Instead it's been more of a night mare!!! I wish you the best!
Thanks guys! This really helps. I'm still kind of confused about the truth of the situation but knowing they have their weird moods and disappear makes A LOT of sense to me. I still don't get if he's playing games with me intentionally - just to boost his own ego - or I'm the girl he wants. How do you detect sincerity with fishes since they always change their minds or moods?
@Nisha... jame raho maidan mein !!! Surprised? Haha...
Stand your ground...just like everyone else'been advising you gal!!! Well, I really don't generalise ppl on the basis of zodiacs...each sign does have certain similar traits (positive and negative) but at the same time, its what placements they have in their natal charts that make them who/what they are. My 'Cancer' is disappearing and re-appearing just like a typical cancer male will do BUT having looked at his natal chart I know that with his MOON in AQUARIUS and a capricorn rising he IS capable of the longevity required and desired in a long-term!!! And hence I did put up with all his BS...LoL
P.S.- Pisces being the most sensitive sign pick up emotions and vibes all around themselves and it may sound crazy to other more 'rational' and 'practical' signs but everything affects us and most of the times, our disappearing does not have to be about our loved ones..Its how hurt we are inside coz of anything...
My brother is a Piscean, and my observation of him is that of being strong in some ways (stubborn, too) but very emotional and easy to walk over in other ways. Certainly the abuse he witnessed growing up molded him to run from confrontation, something he cannot stand to this day. He is very defensive about anything you bring up that is emotional or dear to him.
The odd thing about these fish-types is that they can be resilient in some ways, and super-sensitive and easy to kill in others. Take salmon for example: they can be incredibly resilient and determined swimming against the current, up stream--an exhaustive journey indeed. But the moment they're out of water and caught by air or worse, a bear, they're dead within seconds.
This is basically the literal parallel you have to view and apply to Piscean people. My brother has stuck by his wife's side, despite cheating, lying, and even stealing (by her). Yet...at the same time...he has acted out on people verbally, since he keeps his hurt deep inside, and it comes out randomly by the smallest pinprick.
Pisceans are very sensitive, and yes, have egos which are dear to them, although they'd never admit it; it's typically kept tucked away. The fish type tend to downplay everything (especially if they're being called out), despite it being a big deal in their heads and hearts...but certainly they can let you have it if probed the wrong way, at the wrong time and about a sensitive subject. The downplaying is more of a diversion to avoid facing confrontation or working through something and having to go through the fire. Once again, it's a contrast because Piscean people can be very persistent and hard-workers in other ways.
It seems your beau's ego was majorly bruised (from what little you mentioned), and he is taking that out on you. Certainly, your beau is more than just a sign in and of itself. we don't know his history and what he's been through, which molds him more. Additionally, what is his moon and rising signs? If you have his birthday, location (city and state) and actual birth time (hour and minute), I can delve deeper into it for you.
Thanks a lot, this is very interesting. So am I being punished then? Do Pisces come back just to punish people?
Yes, they are very affraid of confrontations and also confused about what they need and want. You see in Pisces mind there exist two worlds simutaneously, fantasy and reality and it's hard sometime (most of the time) to determine which is which. They are also very masterful with the art of debate so be careful not to play along with them. Just let them know firmly if you are not willing to comprimise you terms. They hate to reject and to be rejected is painful. In their mind they know right from wrong but the problem is how to transfer this to someone without hurting the other person feeling. The men Pisces are usually the one who struggles the most!
@nisha --- sigh Yes pisceans are revengeful !! And ur guy does seem to be playing the famous 'water sign' games with you...
WoW! It feels as if it was me writing this letter Nisha5.......... are you sure we are not talking about the same man!?!? My Pisces has been doing the "back and forth" thing with me for 2 and a half years. He'll call or txt me out of the blue like this past weekend he just showed up at my work, grabbed and kissed me, ask if I want to get married, then took me to dinner, went out for drinks....... I walk away for less than 5 minutes and catch him getting another girls number!!!! Then he txt's me all night, calls me the next day and comes to my work again the next day, plays golf with me, then out to lunch and then runs away AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This past summer he had been txting me, asking me to bring him up some dinner, I had to turn him down because I wasn't in town, so a few days later I drove up to where he lives late at night, about an hour from me and he was with another woman!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!?????? I have found him to be manipulative, lying , and a cheeter......... but he always deny's any of this, he can look me right in the face and make me feel like I'm crazy!!!!! I told him yesterday that maybe if he had stayed off all of the internet dating sights (while we were together and when we were not) and that everything he posted that he was looking for 'WAS ME!' and all that I give him and all of our mutual wants and needs, maybe he should have appreciated me, instead of looking for acceptence elswhere, we have an incredible compatability but everytime he gets too close he runs away! I did everything for him as well as always stood by him, even though his own friends told me that he didn't deserve me, they wouldn't even hang out with us because they said they knew how he treated woman. I know he'll come back again, I know somewhere deep down this man loves me he just needs to get over his past and I do love him I just don't know what to do or how to bring him closer to me without him running away again. I'm Soooooooo confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi all I can totally relate to this. I am with a Pisces. I am a Libra.
They're times that I feel like I am out in left field but yet I am not even in the ball park when it comes to him.
The one thing I can't handle is when he shuts me out. I don't hear from him for 2 to 3 days. I feel like hes avoiding me things like that. I guess thats a Libra thing.
I do know that Pisces men don't like to be put in a corner. They don't like arguing etc. AND THEY don't like to admit when they are wrong. BUT yet they can be loving, caring, and giving.
I love this man with all my heart and every ounce of me.
I have had others that are with Pisces men say give them there space. THAT much is true, far as my Pisces man. When he wants to be alone to think....to clear his mind he will shut the world out and not talk to anyone. THATS when I get I guess paranoid and my mind starts running a hundred miles a hr thinking the worst.
They say that Libra and Pisces are not a good match. And some say they are. I don't know. I do know that it can be confusing with a Pisces man. Its been 3 yrs now that we've been together. And we've had our share of ups and downs. BUT I am willing to keep trying till I have no more to give. I guess thats a Libra thing too.
Just be patience. Stand by him. BUT listen with a open mind and most of all a open heart. Its like I told my man I will not not walk behind him nor will I walk ahead of him, I will walk beside him...with him and take every step he takes and stand by him in the good....the bad...and the ugly. He will not have to walk alone....not anymore for he has ME.
Ciao! Well Pisces men are a bit "dramatic" in their own way. I think that why I've been w/ a Pisces so long is because I'm a "dreamy, stressor" crab w/ Year of the loyal dog. Believe me it hasn't been easy, but I can't imagine being around any other sign. FM
OH- and their usually dreamy in water.. RockyMtn.Hi