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21 Best Ways to Attract Love with Feng Shui
by Christie Calucchia
The way you decorate your home can say a lot about your personality and your unique sense of style. Apparently, it can also help you attract love. "There is most definitely a connection between your home and your love life," says Laura Benko, author of The Holistic Home and founder of The Holistic Home Company. If you're in a relationship, tensions between you and your partner may manifest in your surroundings at home, she explains. For example, if one partner is too dominant, their presence in the home is likely to be overbearing as well."
Curious how to use Feng Shui to attract love? We rounded up the best advice from Benko and other Feng Shui experts to show you how rearranging the furniture and rethinking décor choices can lead to romance.
01 Think Pink
The color pink represents love in Feng Shui, according to Benko. If pink isn't your thing, you can complement it with shades of nudes for a more sophisticated look. While this is the first color that comes to mind when it comes to using Feng Shui to attract love, it really is up to the individual.
02 Make Room for Red
If you still can't get yourself to incorporate pink, consider pops of red – another color associated with love, relationships, and passion in Feng Shui. Since it's a strong color, just be mindful not to overdo it. "Too much red can lead to aggression and anger. Start gradually and sit with it before adding more."
"If you're unsure where to start, simply pick colors that make you feel best. You can even set an intention that you are adding whatever color you choose to bring love into your life," Benko adds. "Do this while holding a visualization of the outcome you desire," she says, adding "If you hate pink or red, it will only make you angry or uncomfortable to surround yourself with that color."
"When it comes down to it, manifesting powerful results comes from within while knowing that you are creating an environment that is congruent with your specific needs and goals."
03 Pair Up
If you are single and hoping to be in a relationship, Benko suggests taking a good look at your current décor and identifying areas in which your singleness is visible in your home. "A single chair, artwork featuring just one person, lone collectibles or singular imagery all promote the energy of one," Benko explains. In order to combat these subconscious single reinforcers, she recommends pairing things up. Replace a single painting with a diptych and move your furniture so that your chairs sit side by side.
04 Comfort is Key
Particularly for the bedroom, comfort is key. Benko suggests investing in luxury sheets that you change out regularly. Fresh sheets are always an incentive to spend more time in bed. Some say colors such as white, bright green, or pink can help heat up a relationship.
It's also helpful to rid the space of exercise equipment and clutter, as these reminders of what you haven't done "can ruin the vibe," according to Benko. Instead of to-do lists and unopened mail, fill your bedroom with soothing artwork and use aromatherapy sprays or candles to make sure the space always smells lovely.
05 Get Rid of the Fluff
Some experts classify an excess of pillows and stuffed animals around the bed as clutter that sends the wrong message to a potential partner. These can communicate that there's no room for someone else in your life. Furthermore, stuffed animals could even subliminally communicate that you're not ready for an adult relationship.
06 Make Space
Benko also believes that it is necessary to physically make room for a partner in your life. "Make space in your closet, your medicine cabinet, your refrigerator—create an environment where even a prospective suitor coming into your home would feel like metaphorically and physically there is room for them in your life."
07 Focus on the Bedroom
This one is rather obvious, but Benko calls the bedroom the "energetic epicenter for love," meaning this is the place to focus on when using Feng Shui to attract passion and romance. "It's where we mostly rest, rejuvenate, reflect, and have sex. So it's very important to create an environment that supports those activities," she says.
08 Command Attention
In order to use your bedroom furniture to attract love, it's best to arrange your bed in what Benko calls the commanding position. "Position your bed so that you can see the entrance when you are lying in the bed, but not in direct alignment with the door." This arrangement can subconsciously boost your confidence because you're able to see who is entering your space without feeling startled or vulnerable, according to Benko. "Confidence in the bedroom is a game changer."
09 Declutter and Cleanse
In the same way that certain items can attract love, others can inhibit it. "Be sure to rid your home of items that keep you stuck in the past," Benko says. That means it's time to toss any old memorabilia from an ex that no longer serves you. Think of this as an emotional cleanse. Benko also suggests removing anything broken or lifeless from your home, and don't hang on to items that you can't use anymore.
10 Let Things Blossom
One of the easiest ways to spruce up your home and bedroom is with live plants or a bouquet of fresh flowers. Always replace dried flowers with fresh new ones. Bringing new life into your home will immediately boost the chi (or energy). Fresh flowers make your space smell divine, and plants provide a myriad of health benefits, from improving air quality to boosting your immune system and mental health. Think of it this way: life inside your home will attract more life inside your home.
11 Keep the Fire Alive
"Fire is an element in Feng Shui that helps instigate the spark in a new relationship or keep the love burning in a current one," Benko explains. You can bring this element into your home in a few different ways. Quite literally, a fireplace or a burning candle can be used to attract love. You can also incorporate the color red into a space with accent pieces like a throw blanket, rug, painting, or red wall. The only thing to remember is that there should be a balance. "Make sure you don't go overboard," says Benko.
12 Get Creative
Artwork and creative expression in the home has always been considered one of the many love cures, according to Feng Shui. Be thoughtful in selecting art that you genuinely enjoy. For your bedroom, it's best to invest in pieces that feel soothing to you. Also, remember it can be helpful to reinforce the idea of pairs through your decor.
13 Keep it "Scentsual"
Everyone knows smell is one of the most powerful sensory experiences that instantly transports one to a positive or negative state of mind. Incorporating the power of aromatherapy is just one more way to create an inviting environment for romance in your life.
14 Don't mix work and play
Experts advise keeping your career out of the bedroom if at all possible. Regard your bed as a sacred space for sleep and lovemaking only. If you must share your bedroom with an office space, you can try to partition the sections with a screen or a beaded curtain.
15 Double Your Pleasure
Mirrors are often a cure-all for common Feng Shui challenges. In this case, the location of your bedroom in the house could be causing relationship problems (or the lack of one). If it's at the end of a long hallway or is lined up with the front door, this is believed to cause problems in the romance department. It is believed that hanging mirrors diagonally opposite each other in the hallway just outside the bedroom door can resolve them by slowing the energies down.
Always be mindful of where you place mirrors though. For instance, do not place one directly across from your bed as experts agree this can invite infidelity.
16 Mind your Headboard
Any furniture pieces that are built to support you are very important in Feng Shui. It's common sense that if these pieces are not sturdy, or worse, totally absent, you won't feel supported. This is especially true of your headboard when it comes to love and romance. According to Feng Shui expert, Nicolette Vajtay, "Without a headbaord, the ability to create mastery of life, which is represented by the master bedroom, is leaking all over the place. With a headboard you have the necessary backing and support to create a stable, happy, healthy career and marriage." She advises that wood is best and fabric is fine if securely attached to the bed. Avoid metal or a headboard with slats.
17 Crystallize Your Desires
Many believe that crystals reflect and amplify energy so it's no surprise it plays a role in Feng Shui. Experts recommend hanging a small crystal sphere from a silver thread directly inside your bedroom door to strengthen and improve your relationships, especially romantic ones.
18 Soothe Yourself
Setting the right mood for romance is crucial in the bedroom. Lighting can make or break this so you may want to invest in dimmers or incandescent bulbs. Select a palette of mostly calm, soothing colors as opposed to bold or bright ones. A few bright accents are fine, but you want the general tone of your bedroom to feel peaceful. This is not only ideal for sleep, but ideal for inviting healthy relationships into your life.
19 Yin and Yang
When it comes to creating your environment, it's essential to strive for a balance of energies through your décor choices. "If your bedroom is too frilly and delicate—or on the opposite spectrum, very dark, masculine, and septic—it's important that you find a balance in the middle so it's comfortable and balanced for both energies, regardless of the genders that dwell there," Benko explains.
20 Create Balance
The essence of Feng Shui is about balancing energy within a space. So consider the layout of your bed and the space around it if you're looking for love. Feng shui consultant, Ken Lauher, says "There should be room to approach your bed from either side – don’t position it with one side against the wall. Don't have only one nightstand. You should have two nightstands, as well as two lamps."
21 :Lighten Up
This last tip may sound plain superstitious, but it can't hurt to try. Turn your bedside lamps on at the same time each night and keep them on for at least three consecutive hours. Then, turn them both off at the same time. Do this for twenty-seven consecutive days and it's believed that those lamps won't be the only thing getting turned on!