Cancer men please explain yourselves...



  • Okay so we all know Cancer men get a bad rap around here you guys are so confusing to the woman that fall for you. You are charming one minute cold the next leaving us wondering what the heck just happened?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? I know you guys are amazing people just hard to read or understand so I need your help understanding how to best react to my Cancer..

    I fell for Mr. Cancer 5 months ago the best that has happened to me in a long time everything felt perfect. It seemed like we were on the same page, there was passion, good conversation, true friendship it was amazing. And just like that..... He was gone..... He came back but not the same he was cold, non responsive, distant. I Finally I could not handle the uncertainty and I gave him his space and removed myself from the situation lil by lil. We would still see each other like once a week and it would get physical so that's when I told him I could not be "that" girl that if he only wanted a physical friendship it was best to just let things go. That night he did just that and sent me a text saying he was sorry for any pain he cared about me but was going to remove himself from my life but he will always care about me. I never responded it was the closure I needed.

    I was doing my part to move on using this forum and the great advice from others to heal myself and get better I was okay with his decision it hurt but I accepted it. This was about a month ago and now for the past 2 weeks he has been reaching out calling and texting me that he misses me, can't stop thinking about me and he is going to get me back (he says this half joking). What the Heck?? I thought he was going to leave me alone??

    I DO NOT KNOW how to react. I miss him, I care a whole lot, I do not want to hurt him or push him away but I also do not want him to think that he can just come back into my life whenever he wants or like nothing ever happened like he has in the past. Soooo Cancer's who better than you to help me, tell me the best way to react to him the do's and don'ts because I feel like I have done everything wrong everything I say he turns around on me. I know that you guys are very caring, amazing human beings and you have the ability to make others feel so loved how do I reach his heart? I want to make my voice heard but without him being defensive what is the best way to do this without him crawling into his shell? Since it is he and not me that is reaching out I feel now is my chance to get through to him but I want to make sure I am effective and sensitive to his feelings as well. Thanks in advance for any advice...



  • TaurusGirly Hey

    I have found that we Cancer men are very attracted to Taurus women. However, in my personal experience I don't think I would date another unless I was certain she had control of her stubbornness. I don't deal well with stubbornness or cockiness, and I have found most of my Taurus friends to be just that. I know that not all Taurus's are that way but I think it is a struggle for many, whether they realize it or not.

    This guy may be using you physically so be careful. Cancer's are known for having weak control over physical attraction and will unintentionally, or intentionally, use women.

    I like women who are very logical and not overly dramatic or gossipy. I love a women who is compassionate, understanding, and can take a little criticism. If you are the type of women who is never wrong, that is a deal breaker for me. If you always point your finger at others when someone calls you out on something that is another deal breaker for me. I am also not attracted to social lights. If you don't enjoy a lot of one on one time I would be put off by it. I can be jealous and don't want a women who enjoys a lot of attention from other men.

    Hope this helps some ๐Ÿ™‚



  • Thanks Cancerman276

    Yes it helps thanks I agree that us Taurus can be stubborn at least I know I am and so is he so we bumb heads all the time. We can never agree to disagree I have realized this so when we would argue I would check myself bight my tongue just for the sake of not arguing. Taurus/Cancer is a great pairing when both people can communicate we actually make very good partners we both love being home and around families don't be too afraid of us bulls ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I agree about the physical attraction and it's what keeps me away I don't want it to be just that I want him to see me the way he use to I just don't know his intentions anymore and not worth the heartache I am left with after.

    I am compassionate to him always there for him he can hurt me make me cry and I always welcome him back. That's why this time I want to make sure if he comes back that we fix our issues. I do always want to talk when something is bothering which he may see as dramatic. I don't point the finger at him I'm always the one left apologizing for something I did not do. I don't think he means to push me away or hurt me I can be very sensitive and I think this makes him retreat to his shell even more.

    Cancerman276 do you think that when Cancer men leave or disappear it is because they are over the relationship? You guys are such committed creatures if you are into a girl the last thing you want is to leave them right?

    Thanks again for you input...



  • TaurusGirly

    I think you are doing the right thing. If he left he may be thinking things though or he may be interested in someone else, or, playing the field to make sure you are the right one for him. Either way you should move on with your life if you can and see other people. I know it's not easy but it would be for the best. As they say, there are plenty of fish in the sea. I personally do not believe in the "one". If that were true, no one would ever get divorced or remarried. Take this time to examine yourself and make sure you want to be with him because he makes your life better, not because you feel like you can't live without him. If the latter is the reason you want him back, you need to do some soul searching and figure out why you're not happy on your own. I know what it feels like to "need" someone and I believe we fell that way when we have unresolved issues in our life.

    Hope this helps ๐Ÿ™‚ Don't give up and love and finding the right man. And it's nice to hear a Taurus talk about compassion and forgiveness. The Taurus's I've met on here have been very kind and thoughtful.



  • feel not "fell" lol



  • Cancerman276

    Thanks for all your wonderful insight... I completely agree with everything that you said and it has nothing to do with Astrology sign when someone wants you they show it with words and actions. Cancer's especially being so loyal in the past if he shared too much or he felt I was pulling back he would show up with gifts or call to make sure I was okay. If he wanted me I would not have to question it he had no problem in the beginning showing affection and how much he cared so when someone takes steps back it's a sign something is wrong. It takes two people and I know I have done my part that's all I can do at this point.

    I felt the same way like maybe he became interested in someone else or was keeping his options opened which is fine he is a grown and can do what he wants but i am all about honesty I was not okay with being at the sidelines to reach for whenever he wanted. I know I need to do me, move on and take things for what they are but he makes it hard with the mind games. It's like he has a radar when things are looking good for me and I am forgetting about him he reaches out lol and me not wanting to be mean or push him away I always respond!!!!!! This time I wanted to make sure I made my voice heard but wanted to do it without him getting so defensive and sensitive. I always end up questioning if maybe I had approached things differently I would have gotten a better reaction.... I did not want to make the same mistake again.

    It's funny you mention about us Taurus and compassion I think when it comes to others we are extremely compassionate and giving/forgiving... But if it is something that has hurt us personally like words or rejection it is really hard for us to forget at least that is the case for me. It takes a heart to heart talk, sincere apology to mend our hurt. I think because we are this was we expect those we care about to treat us the same way which not everyone is capable of doing. Being with him taught me to be more understanding and patient. I now know how frustrating it can be to be with someone so stubborn and hard headed as myself it's no fun so yeah lesson learned this Taurus is now a tad bit less stubborn and all due to a crab ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Cancerman276 don't give up on us Taurus females lol we can teach you Cancer's a thing or two and we love to cuddle ๐Ÿ˜‰



  • what about pisces women??? iยดd love cancer mens insight here as well. by the way im very psychic n insightful n ive at times used it when i felt it would help my cause with my cancer man. dunno how it came across. once or twice he chuckled but ..........

    taurusgirly thanx for setting this thread up.

    cwb



  • FYI - the guy that I posted about in another thread is a cancer guy. I believe that when a guy is all lovey dovey then diappears, if he comes back distant it's because there is another woman. He still has an emotional attachment to that woman and oddly enough on a subconscious level doesn't feel right showing you the same affection. Don't worry...eventually with distance from her he will be lovey dovey again. Cancer men do love us Taurus women. We are usually sexually compatible. It's the emotional compatibility that I think doesn't work. I'm a true Taurus woman so I know that he would prefer a woman that wasn't as bullheaded as I am.



  • Mizgator

    I am a true Taurus woman and man are we bullheaded lol pair that with a bullheaded cancer and it spells trouble! We can never agree to disagree but I am with you on the sexual compatibility maybe that's what keeps them around...



  • I am not trying to be a jerk....but as if that would ever happen!! lol See, the thing about cancer men is this, they will not explain themselves most of the time. If you can get one to do so, then you have something........

    I just ended an almost 2 year relationship with one. And the thing is, for me, it is over, him, he does not think so....



  • Yeah I've heard that it is hard for them to let go of people they drag out a break up. the longer the relationship the harder for them to accept it's over in less they were the ones to call it off. So confusing to us taurus girls because we mean what we say once we have made a decision we stand behind it they make it hard by coming back.



  • Exactly. The thing is, for me, the roller coaster ride was getting old. I honestly believe he was giving our relationship his best, yet, I just want more.



  • Taurusgirly:

    I am a Leo woman and married to a Cancer man of 26 yrs. It's has been a very rocky ride. My mother was a Cancer and she was the same way he is. First he has way too much "gray area" and never can be black or white so to speak. It's always hard to get at what he is really trying to say, which usually always ends in an argument. He is needy and sometimes an emotional roller coaster. In my opinion Cancer men donot know themselves at all and act on a whim most of the time. They are selfish, in my opinion and they feel they should be the center of attention always. They donot take instruction or criticism well, and will do what they want regardless of what anyone thinks. I hope you find out who he really is before you get in too deep. Good luck!



  • Hello I have been with my Cancer for 19 yrs, I agree about the agree to disagree part. I can admit I am stubborn but only if my Cancer shows his ignorance & selfish ways. My relationship with my Cancer started off great, of course making him my #1, as yrs went on so did his disrespect for me as a wife & kids, at least that's my opinion.....I found out 3 yrs ago he was talking to another women, I guess thats when I statred revisiualizing my marriage and relationship. I started looking at myself, when i really should of done was kicked him to the curve. Being the patience Taurus. I gave him the beneifit of the doubt. I've dealt with the verbal abuse and the hurtful crititism for yrs....I finally came to my last straw of dealing with the verbal abuse on 7/09/2011. I drove crying all the way home, because I was so hurt and angry, mainly embarressed because we had our kids, our kids are older, but to me that doesnt excuse anything.....That month is when I finanlly told my Cancer, Im DONE with our marriage, I want out. I now struggle to get this Cancer man to understand, there is no changing my mind. I do see his senerity, and love. But for how long because Ive heard all the excuses a Cancer man can give.....



  • Thanks ladies for sharing Taurus 7 - Like you I think he was trying as well but our definition of trying was very different!!!! I need to deal/ face things talk things out. He on the other hand could not deal with that it was too much emotions I guess lol Like you I know in the long run his trying will never be enough for me and I would grow to recent him which is not the type of relationship I want.

    JewelLeo- YES!!! He was always right and not one to compromise I know it's best for me to move on from him before I get in any deeper... I'm working on it thanks!

    TaurusWoman8- Good for you I know how hard it is for us Taurus woman to walk away from people we are loyal to a fault!!! It takes a lot for us to turn our back on those we love congrats on putting your feelings first and you're right it does not matter how old your children are respect is respect especially in a marriage. Good luck with all of it I read somewhere that it is very sad when Cancer/Taurus break up because it's truly a match made in heaven when both signs can communicate it could be bliss!!

    Much love and light to you all

    TG



  • *resent him

    (not recent him ๐Ÿ˜• lol sorry!)



  • Love all you Taurean girls!!! We get it. We do. Our ways are simple...yet so confusing to others!!



  • Well I have been cking on this thread......I hope all is well. Im still dealing with my CancerMan, and wondering if should have a change in heart, Im not sure because I feel things won't change, they never have in the pass, and he won't leave until I call the police he states. Im like seriously we are in our 40's, take it like an adult.....

    Hope all is well.......

    TW8



  • I dont know about most cancer men, but if I disappear it is because of one of two things....1. I am not sure some aspect of the relationship and want to see what else is out there..or 2. I have picked up on something that makes me second guess things. Not all Cancer men are shits. When I find someone who I give my heart to, I am attentive and present to the relationship. Not knowing all the particulars of your day to day interaction...I would say protect yourself, if he really liked you there would be no doubt and any disappearance would be thoroughly explained. Although as a young cancer I was a total mess when it came to relationships. I am 41 now and have learned the hard way the err of my ways. Hope this helps!!



  • CancerMalewithTaurusFemaleu

    Thanx for your reply. 1st of i must say how barve u are to come to these forums. not many men dare lol not that i blame em. this is like womanville made into women capital city of the world lol

    i have some questions i hope u may help with being a cancer man n all.

    1. when my cancer man says he has seen heard all my email n phone messages, can i bank it or what?

    2. when saying ive been busy on why he has not replied any mail n phonecalls, am i to take that as a thoroughly explaination or ought i ask for more ?

    3. when a cancer man says " your scars are beautiful" what does he REALLY mean?

    4. would u say telepathy between a cancer male n pisces woman is special strong or ??

    thanx lol

    ps i hope i aint scared ya away lol