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You will find your soulmate once you learn to see and love your partner for who they are, and not for what you want them to be. You may be subconsciously choosing the wrong partner or self-sabotaging relationships because you cannot handle deep commitment. Your inner fears may be sabotaging your desire for a life partner. You need to find an equal relationship and not one where you want to lean on the other person - you can get very needy and possessive. Romance figures heavily into your life. It may however have gotten to the point where you never like to be on your own for very long, always going from one love affair to the next. This can create an insecurity about being single and alone. You may begin to increasingly doubt if you could ever go it by yourself. It’s good to always seek to treat people as you want to be treated, but you can eventually lose access to your true desires and yearnings as an individual in the process.
You will constantly hit a wall whenever you can’t seem to live for yourself. The approval, popularity, love, and harmony that you seek will just leave you feeling empty. You may have this nagging sense that something is missing. As I said, you may have a commitment problem and may even avoid commitment forever. Have you ever actually been in a serious, long-term commitment that you didn't self-sabotage? You may keep chasing after love and it keeps eluding you or else you’re so indecisive and uncertain about “the one” that you don’t get around to committing at all. This uncertainty is all due to the fact that you need to cultivate a self-reliant, self-starting spirit. All the years of hollow relationships or disappointments in dating are forcing you to respond with yearnings of independence.
This lifetime for you is about finding singularity and self-reliance. So you must discover the independence that you have within and your ability to blaze your own trail. In order to do this, you have to grapple with the side of yourself that is highly relationship-oriented and focused on pleasing others. The old part of you that is passing away makes you inherently geared toward bringing happiness and harmony to other people. By nature, you are very thoughtful, kind-hearted, and peaceful. But not rocking the boat can become a comfort zone for you. It’s all too easy for you to remain the nice person, instead of just doing what you really want or letting people know how you really feel. Your past has been about constantly keeping the peace, in some way or another. You have always been just a really sweet, likable individual, one of those types who is very difficult to dislike. You are also a real people person, bringing many close, personal relationships into your life. This is all due to your charm, kindness, and ability to work with others.
Deep down however, your soul just wants to break out and take action on its own accord; to just “do you.” It’s when you listen to this fiery, driven voice within that you will be able to access and develop your full potential. In order to realize this side of yourself, you have to be willing to not try to make everyone happy all the time. In any sort of conflict, you will seek to smooth it out as quickly and easily as possible. But this only leaves you dissatisfied in the end, with an inner rage that just begs to be heard and expressed. You must listen to your anger and get it out. Anger is a sign that something in a situation isn’t right. It’s a sign of discomfort or displeasure, on your part. So, instead of trying to avoid your anger, you have to embrace it. Of course, do it in healthy ways - don’t go around and punch people in the face. But you’ve got to get it off your chest!
It might sound like a contradiction but it’s a spiritual awakening for you to be able to argue, yell, be demanding, or get impatient. There is a warrior within you and that warrior is the key to your greatest potential. When you can put the sweetness or the easy-goingness to the side, sometimes, and just let it rip, then you will gain a more conscious awareness of your path as a fighter. You have to realize that being in disagreement is sometimes a good thing for a relationship. It’s not a sign of a crisis or that you’re an awful person or the other person is wrong. It just means that you’re two people with differing desires, feelings, thoughts, or directions. Therefore, you can actually co-exist better when this is honored, instead of avoided.
You don’t always have to get on the same page as others or force them to get on the same page as you. Sometimes, you can just exist on two different pages, still loving each other in spite of the conflict or tension. This sets you off on your own singular journey. You’ll find it quite remarkable what you can do when you’re not spending so much energy on other people, the amazing potential you have to achieve and conquer. Your higher self is truly fearless, kicking ass and taking names. The beauty of this new attitude is the ability to approach challenges and know that no one has to hold your hand during it. Instead of always needing to work in a team or always looking to another person for guidance or decision making, you have to develop the courage to make your own choices. The more you grow spiritually, the more you will be able to stand up to other people. In doing so, you will transcend into the force to be reckoned with that you were meant to be. You won’t flinch at the idea of being challenged because that’s what you’ll live for.
Basically if you want a good relationship with someone else, you have to establish a good honest and loving relationship with yourself first and really get to the truth of what you want and what you are hiding from.
