OH my goodness, mine does the same thing about accusing me of what I'm accusing him of! Drives me nuts!! Again, it's like a kid just coming back with whatever he can throw at me to shut me up.

Thanks for mentioning the part about showing him emotion seems to get through to him. I had not thought about that but that is so true. The only times he backed down and softened up during an argument was the few times that I burst into tears. I hate doing that too. I usually am burning up mad first and then go off by myself and get sad and cry it out. I don't like to cry in front of people but maybe I just need to let some of that come through the next time I'm telling him something like that.

Mine has mother issues too. He always thinks I'm going to leave like she did when he was a teenager. I guess in a sick way, I sort of think it's sweet that he is that scared of me leaving but on the other hand it gets exhausting.

I meant I would possibly sacrifice a career. Sacrifices do hurt, you know...even when it's the right thing to do. Otherwise, it's not really a sacrifice. If I take this job, then I can make a year's salary in 2 months and then be home 24/7 the other 10 months. I am so torn about it because I care about them so much. I didn't plan on having kids or even being a sahm, but life happened and I'm trying hard to do the right things. I miss working. And don't even pretend that being a stay at home mom is 100% bliss.

Yes, they would be taken care of by my husband/their dad and grandparents when he is working.

HA...I have a cancer man too, so I am with you on this!

2, 4, & 12

I hope someone out there doesn't mind doing a reading for me about my job situation. Thank you so much if you can!!

I am mostly a stay at home mom, but also occasionally work as a self-employed consultant. I love it but it's difficult to find work that can be done locally or from home. Last summer, for the first time, I took an out-of-town job. I was gone about 2 months, coming home every other weekend. I've been home now for 6 months and have been asked to go do another similar job. I am torn over whether I should take the job or turn it down. Am I chasing after a career that I wasn't even meant to do? If this isn't my 'path' I'm supposed to take, then I don't mind letting it go. I love it tremendously though and want to do it but feel terrible at the thought of leaving my kids again. My middle child is the only one that I'm worried about leaving. Is his separation anxiety just a normal phase or did I cause that and do I need to stay home (possibly sacrificing future offers)?? We could really use the money that the job would bring too.

My DOB if needed: 11/11/77

Victimofcancerian...I am also a 'victim' of a cancer man! I wanted to share with you how I deal with him...

I hope you both don't mind me responding. I wanted to validate all that you have said. My husband sounds EXACTLY like yours! He was born July 13. Even though we are supposedly compatible (I'm a scorpio), he drives me absolutely nuts with his hot 'n cold nature! We have about a month of total bliss and then 1 or 2 months of him just being completely disconnected and MOODY! God...the moodiness! I keep reading this is just the cancer nature though. Mine is also very sensitive and insecure and constantly fears I'm going to leave him. And he has that little streak of selfishness too, like you mentioned. For example, he recently erased mine and kids' shows off of the DVR to make sure there was room enough for his. This might just be a "man thing" as well though! Their good qualities often outweigh the bad (depending on your needs). Every person is going to have issues to deal with in a relationship. Are these the ones we would rather deal with as opposed to others? ..or are these issues too big for your needs?? The thing I ask myself is, "If he stays just like he is forever, can I deal with that?" Catch me on the wrong day and I'll say, "no!" haha, but mostly it's "yes".

We've been married 12 years and have 3 kids. He's still a mystery to me on some levels, but I find that he seems to need a big kick in the pants about every few months. He's like a kid who tests his boundaries and just needs to make sure they are still there. I think he actually feels secure when he sees he can still rile me up! It's like a child acting out to get attention. From experience I can tell you that smart@ss remarks don't work at all...but it does make ME feel better! HA What DOES work is a heartfelt, well thought-out letter or email. It's non-confrontational, gives me a chance to think out my words before saying them and gives him time to think about what I said before responding. I pretty much write the same letter to him every few months, but hey...whatever works!

I have started studying astrology in the past couple of years, though I'm still only a 'beginner'. You should start delving deeper also. It's very fascinating just how accurate and detailed it can be. It is all very mathematical and precise. There's no psychic power involved, although intuition does help (so they say). You can search the internet for a free birth chart and see what sign each of your planets are in, then search the internet for each of those combinations. You can find out SO much about yourself and your dude. It goes even deeper than that but I haven't learned about the deeper stuff yet.

Just wanted to add also that I wasn't trying to take TheCaptain's place. I just felt a scorpio-connection with you and totally understood where you are coming from!

OH and I just noticed he is an Aquarius. That's generally not a good match for us. Many Aquarius partners are not into that really deep and loyal connection that we crave. They make good friends, but not spouses. Generally speaking (not everyone fits in 'the box') we should look for a spouse who is Cancer, Capricorn, or Pisces. Of course, the sun signs only tap the surface but in general terms, that's what works.

Hi Mo...

From one Scorpio to another (my bday is 11-11), I thought maybe I could offer a thought that I have had to come to terms with myself in the past. Sometimes we love the man that we 'thought' he was...the man that we wanted him to be and hoped he would become. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that we didn't really know the man that we have given our heart to. It's especially hard for a Scorpio because we typically are very good at reading people and see through to their true intentions. It hurts extra deep when we realize that someone really pulled the wool over our eyes...that maybe this once we became weak enough to let passion and love hide the true person that he is. Being the one on the outside looking in, I wish I could hunt this guy down and punch him in the face for you! haha (that's the Scorpio in me) I could totally see myself wallowing in depression if I were in your shoes though.

I would say that maybe you need to treat this like a death. Have yourself a little spiritual ceremony where you gather up some things that symbolize this man you thought you were married to and you pour your feelings and sorrow into these items and then you burn them and realize within yourself that the man you felt you had married is now dead. He is gone. The man that remains is different and not the one you married. He is a stranger. Let yourself mourn for a time, just like a death. Pack up everything that reminds you of him and throw it away, put it away, whatever, just to show yourself it's over. Girl, find that scorpion deep inside you and stand up and brush yourself off and say, 'look out world! I am back!" Show your ex-turd that he was just a speed-bump in your life. Get revenge by getting back out there and start seeing people again.

Try to remind yourself that maybe this was supposed to happen so that the right man could come into your life. Get all of these terrible feelings that are dragging you down out now...feel them, cry them out, wallow in them, scream at them..whatever you have to do to...then let them go. You gotta be ready for Mr. Right to come walking into your life and he might turn around and run if you haven't gotten this out of your system.

This isn't 'it'...your new life awaits...