So true...I'm starting to really focus in on an inner balance that I think I've been lacking. I am excited for when I reach it.....
Phewf! Things are getting heated in here!!
Perhaps I should clear some things up...maybe it will resolve some issues being discussed...
One, he is not seeing anyone new, nor did he start to when we were together. I always knew exactly where he was, what he was doing, who he was with. He kept nothing from me, ever. Our relationship was positive. I do believe that he is going through something right now, and that is why he is holding back at this time. One person said he had Saturn in his 7th house?? I hope I am remembering correctly...Anyhow, I searched that and boy was it dead on....it described so much that was going on between the two of us, even right down to dates. So, perhaps he is extra sensitve to the planets?
As for communication, he sent me a message yesterday. He even called me the nickname he always did...he said he is going to write me back (remember I wrote him that letter explaining some feelings/thoughts) and he said he is going to be calling me this weekend. That was all on his end...not mine. I actually kind of resent the statement that we would only get back together b/c I won't leave him alone....?? I have been so respectful to what he is going through. I haven't been pestering him, I simply let him know in a very kind way how I felt about him and why I was feeling confused. He spoke me after reading it and said that he thought it was very nice and that I was special to him. I may be hurt that someone I care so much for has chosen to take some distance while he figures something out, but that doesn't mean I am going to battle and harrass him over it. If he needs time, I will give him time. Stating that you think I have left something out with all of this seems silly to me; I even posted our text messages. I came here for help and advice, and I don't believe I would find it if I was hiding something. I was fortunate to meet all of these wonderful people with big hearts, all of whom have helped to bring me out of my funk. I don't think it's fair that someone enter into the topic and start causing drama...there has been 100% positivity here until some of the recent comments, and whereas I appreciate you taking the time to give your opinion (even though I don't agree with it b/c I know it's not true; I wonder about the pyschic ability you speak of) I don't think it's right to lash out at other writers with saucy comebacks.
I hope I'm not crossing a line by writing this, it's not my intention in the least. I just love that there have been so many wonderful posts, and then negativity was introduced. Hopefully we can all continue on the path we were leading before MsSunny showed up (again, no offense).
Well, it is still occupying my mind... a lot. I don't get out much (I own a company that keeps me nailed to the floor most days), and I'm finding it hard to put the issue out of my head.
There has been no communication between Darren and I this week. He attempted to call me on Sunday evening, but I missed the call. By the time I called back, two hours later, he did not answer. I assume he was in bed. Nothing since....
Today I was actually wondering if I should be sending him a note to say that I am still interested in talking, but I decided against it b/c I wasn't sure if it would be the right thing to do. I just know that any time I have said to him that I am walking away from this b/c he won't commit to talking (like on this past Friday), he pulls me back in and tells me we 'will' talk. Well, I'm still waiting...
My Aries has the same birthday as you do.
You said that I should let him know how I feel and basically keep 'in sight'...I have let him know (probably too much, if we look at that smothering feeling an Aries can feel), but that's as much as I can do. We live in different cities, so we don't exactly cross paths. I have not heard from him since Sunday night when he attempted to call. I'm in the mind-frame now where I think it's best for me to just back off...and it scares me a bit b/c of how I am as a Leo; when a relationship ends for me, I either have already written the person off and am no longer interested (so no grief), or I am so bent out of shape over it that I have a hard time functioning. In the case of the latter, when the guy does not make the attempt to rekindle, I end up feeling hurt...Leo's and hurt feelings don't go well together, to say the least. It ends up in anger, and what happens is I will end up convincing myself that the guy is not worth my time, I end up resenting him, and I never speak to him again. I know you say not to give up on the Aries, but I'm feeling like if I even try to keep him in my mind, that I'll end up disappointed b/c he'll move on and it wont be with me. I think I am just feeling at this point that he's over it, b/c I can't understand why else someone would NOT be calling and wanting to be with you if they cared about you as much as they claimed to. But again, I am a Leo....we follow our hearts and do what it tells us to. Not our heads.
I also wanted to say I'm so sorry you went through what you did with your ex....what an awful experience. Even though years have passed, I don't imagine you ever get over something of that nature. My heart goes out to you....:(
I hope you are right and that he is missing me....I wish though that if it happened to be true, he would let me know... Brett, hard-headedness couldn't be further from the truth!
I also agree that the word Love is thrown around too much....how's that for a Leo statement! I think a lot of people out there think that Leo's tell everyone they love them, but not the case... We certainly love, and love quickly and fully, but that 'love' is pretty universal; pets, family, friends, lovers, inanimate objects.... Although we are loving by nature, there is still a huge difference between Love and IN Love.... So whereas we will tell everyone we care about that we love them, it's not the same as being IN love, where that dreamy, heart-skips-a-beat, passionate feeling can get the better of us. That feeling doesn't get thrown around, thankfully. I think there are unfortunately a lot of people that can't tell the difference...
Oh yay!!!! I'm sooo happy it all worked out!! I knew it would! I'm sure this whole situation the two of you experienced will only bring you closer b/c you got the opportunity to learn so much about what makes the other person tick. Truly valuable.
As for me, yes, it is definitely time for me to back off and let him do his thing. If I am in his heart, he will find me again.
Thank you everyone....you are all so great, taking the time to offer up your advice/experiences.
I have backed off...I feel I have taken the proper steps (let him know how I feel about him, confirmed it with a written note sent via mail - which he really liked, and now giving him space) to show him that I support what he is going through. I feel now, it is time to just leave him alone and go on with my life.
Brett, I don't think 'out of sight, out of mind' will likely apply here, even with me deciding to leave him alone at this point, (I could be wrong?) b/c I am all over his apartment; I'm an artist and I have done numerous paintings for him, he keeps all of my letters/cards etc in the front of a drawer that he goes in each day, there are things in his cabinets, etc....I'm everywhere. Maybe it's different for men? For women, you see that stuff and you are instantly reminded of the person.
He did attempt to call last night, but I missed the call b/c of an event I was attending. I tried calling back a couple hours later, but no answer. So, back to my thing...just going on with my life. If he wants to reach me, he knows how.
I suppose if I don't hear from him and this is final, then at the very least I can enjoy the memories. He will always have a special place in my heart, the confused Aries...
So you are waiting for him? Did you ever get an explaination as to 'why' he couldn't do it?
I did the birth charts and the numerology charts as well...they all came out very positive. Unfortunately, I don't see the proof in real-life. I'm being patient, and coming to my wits end. At this point I feel like I'm just being strung along (whenever I say that I'm going to back off, he reels me back in) and if it's for reasons other than him wanting to get back together, then it's not fair to me and I need the opportunity and the closure for healing.
Thing is; I've dated Aries' before and we got along great. Whereas the relationships didnt survive for various reasons depending on where we were in life, one of them has remained in my life and is my best friend. One thing I notice about dating an Aries is they usually come back, and they let you know then that they are crazy in love with you. I am confused why things are different with this one though...he's very unlike the other Aries I know....this may sound like a rediculous question, but remember I'm still learning, but are all Aries dealing with Saturn in their 7th right now? Or is it Aries that are born in his year?
I've thought about getting a birth chart done, but I also understand it may not be correct if you are unsure of birth times, and I have no idea what those times are...so I haven't gone any further with it.
Oh Brian, I know you are right; I need to back off and let him have his time. The problem; I'm a Leo that wants everything immediately and hates the thought of having to be patient! But you are right...and I'm trying very hard, I swear....
I wish these things got easier as you get older...I'm sure my family is wishing the same thing so they get to stop hearing about it! But alas, I suppose a broken heart is a broken heart. I'll get through it...
See? He's crazy about you and he's not going to stay away from someone he feels a definite connection to. He's definitely going through some things, and him knowing that you are there behind him every step of the way will make him so much stronger through it all.
If you don't feel comfortable telling him your deepest feelings, then don't. A Leo doesn't necessarily need to hear it...but he will need to feel it. So be affectionate and he'll know without you having to say a word.
Next time you see him, secretly throw a little note into his pocket or briefcase that he will find later. Keep it brief and simple; just write something to the effect that you hope he has a great day and that you are thinking of him. He may be a man, but he's a Leo...and Leo's (male and female) appreciate that stuff...it will again confirm to him that you are supportive of him and what he's going through. Little things like this pretty much guarantee that you will be solid as a couple in a very short time...
"we becomeemotional, don't knwo how to handle those feelings and withdraw... "
I know he is having a hard time dealing...he mentioned in a recent message that he "doesnt know how to manage this". I wish I knew what that meant....he's 'confused, unsure, and doesn't know how to manage this'? deep breath
So from an Aries point of view, how long do you figure he will take to come to terms with how he is feeling? I haven't been 'that girl' that burns up his phone every day crying and begging. I have given him his space and been respectful. This all unfolded 8 days ago; that is when the break-up occurred. As of right now he is still saying he is confused.
I think the mental burden I am dealing with is that with myself being a Leo, if I am enjoying my time with someone, care about them deeply, have fun with them and look forward to seeing them, I continue and don't think otherwise. Why would it be so different for an Aries? What could he possibly be analyzing if he too cares deeply for me and we have a great time together with a past of no fighting or clashing?
Hewitt302, you mentioned that it was difficult for you to commit. What were your thoughts during that time, when you were battling with it? What made you decide he was right to commit to? I know Aries' are very much about themselves (and I agree, not so much in a selfish way...more like a 'their world' kind of thing...) and I've always respected it about Darren...and I always understood. I think this is the first time I've ever been truly confused where he and I are concerned....
Hopefully he will see me tomorrow to discuss. I can't imagine having to feel like this for much longer....I am a disaster...he almost needs to figure things out so that if his decision IS to move on without me, then I can start the healing.
I was only in Quebec for a couple of days visiting a friend. He knows I'm back. The issue right now is just that he is 'confused and not sure'. He has avoided the issue, giving himself a rest from things, which I'm sure has felt good for him to have a breather, but are Aries not apt to eventually resolve the issue at hand? He has received the letter I sent him, so he knows things on my end of it now...I can't help but wonder if he will just continue to 'ignore' the situation. If he's feeling confused, why would he not want to discuss it? I'm crushed it is unfolding this way...I feel such a void with him not being here.