I empathize beyond what you can imagine.
I have been recovering from My cancer man with scorpio moon for at least three years now . I have been in therapy and found EFT technique(tapping) enormously helpful. I too can't seem to get my my mind and body and soul detached from his ultimate narcissm. He never quite lets go and cant tell the truth. Bottom line...I had to get a life and bit by bit I rebuild. Its hard on kids to see us grieve so heavily yet authentic to do so when MAKING EFFORTS TO MOVE ON. Its all I could /can do. Step by step rebuild. Just to let you know. My attempts to get his attention worked for a while ...but now if I do that..the universe warns me immediately with, broken teapots, candle damage to my laptop computer, banged elbows, stubbed toes, light bulbs burning out. Its hard to believe but his walking out is ultimately a gift. My own co - dependence blinded me to the longterm effects of his dishonesty and selfish usage of the hearts and emotions of others.