Posts made by VirgoCookie

Hi Lindie xoxo - You sound well and I'm happy that you're happy Thank you for the nice words. Maybe over now with the ex. But that doesn't mean it's over for you. Do what Emeraldfields say. Flirt a bit. I want to actually challenge you to go put on your best ensemble, your dancing shoes, go out and approach a nice man you find appealing and say hello. If you're feeling even more daring, ask him if he wants a drink

Katie1982... the secret is nothing more than Just being yourself!. Sounds lame huh?! But it's true. I have not been any different with my cancer fella, how I am when he met me and how I am now. Another secret, don't be afraid to show you're negative side early on or voice out what you want and need. We all have our imperfections and our bad side our needs and wants. If a man wants you he'll see your vice as virtues and he will accept them and he will work on your needs and wants and on your part you will do the same. Comes from the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days!" the film is overly exaggerated, but it's a great way to learn if he's a keeper! And lastly, the last secret I will share with you is 'Ignore them!' Cancer we all know are moody, emotional, sulky, erratic, insecure and the list goes on. Keep true to yourself, if you know you're confident in yourself and you're certain about how you feel, you shrug off their negativity and their mood swings, don't let it get to you. He'll be back to normal again. Always act neutral with them however they are and don't indulge them and get them to bring you down. Occasionally though, reverse it and give it back to them. Show them your moodiness, your emotional vulnerability, your insecurities, because we do feel like that sometimes too being women, once a month especially!

Try not to have any expectations. Don't expect he's the one, let him prove that to you. Don't hold back but also don't just dive in head first.

It's really not about the A-hole detector. Most the time, we women can detect it in first instance, instinct, but we still go there to make sure, to see if it truly is the case, we could be wrong, we want to find out, maybe we can change them, but he's this other times so he can't be, and we give excuses for their A-hole behaviour and we say to ourselves if I'm the one he'll realise and won't be an A-hole to me because I'm special, not like the others he dated and the worse most of us think and feel it's the best we're going to get and so accept the A-hole... and it goes on. So really what we're doing is seeing the A-hole detector flashing, but most of us choose to ignore.

Keldjoran baby!!! Yes I am, wasn't leaving you guys anytime soon How's everything with Scorpio fella?... You have a new twinkling star in the horizon?... hhhmmmm.. =D

Hi Katie1982! Gosh, you do sound like a true Virgin to the core. Your emotional nature, how you love and relate to people, from what I've read in your posts is a very Virgoan nature. I can very much relate to you. One thing about Virgo's apart from giving whole heartedly and becoming vulnerable once in love, is the ability to also cut ties with sharp blade and with precision. Virgo's although have the softness and gentleness also have the backbone of steel, nowadays platinum. I know with myself when I love I give all of me and that's why I can get easily hurt, but when I see the cracks and realise I'm being mistreated or not appreciated and I start to become unhappy in a relationship, I can cut my losses easily. It still hurts but I manage to keep strong. It's because I love myself whole heartedly too and if I can give that love to another I best give it to me first and I will not let anyone bring me down or treat me bad. I also don't give out second chances. Once a man truly hurts me beyond measure, that's it he's out. But I do have the three strike rule for minor imperfections. Like you, I get excited easily about anything that tickles my fancy and I am quite impatient, I want everything now. This is it, it can only get better. Very optimistic. This can sometimes be our down fall. The upside we easily recover and shake it off and find another exciting thing to look forward too

Hello beautiful people!!! I trust that everyone had a lovely Christmas and a great start to the New Year! I have been super busy over the holidays. Hope everything is going well for you guys. I'm still with my cancer fella and we're still going pretty strong and I'm happy as Larry! Nothing exciting to share though unfortunately... sadly, no ring on the finger =(

@Keldjoran and Sandran, well... no ring for this Christmas. But when I saw him last Thursday, our last day together till March 2010...we passed by a jewelry window. He asked me what kind of ring I'd like and I pointed out a couple. He said hopefully he'll get it right....

Talking about hobbies and your musical talents. My cancer has taken up painting to alleviate stress and negativity. I did read that it's very good for cancers to take up hobbies for the same reasons so you guys don't get bogged down with what's happening, as it's an outlet for your overactive imaginations and self defeating tendencies.

@Keldjoran. Very proud of you!!! Keep it up. You know how hard it is in re-hab. Be strong. At least you didn't need intervention!! LOL =D

Coming up to Christmas... I just want to wish every single friend I have in this thread. Those who I know post here. This is the thread I first joined and were I met the kindest, fun, loving and generous people. I wish to thank you all for being you and for your friendship. I sincerely hope that this christmas, would be full of joy and good fortune for all of us. It's become bigger than all about cancer man. In these last posts I've realised we have all been more than a name and a post, but really beautiful indinidual who have so many things in common. I wish you all the very best for 2010!!!

Oh and I'm not going anywhere. I just really feel like putting that out there. LOL!! =D

Luan...Sounds like it was a great trip. Worthwile... hmmm. Don't worry, Lindie is right, he will miss you. I do know this. I may even have a feeling, that he is analysisng and thinking of what has happened. His brain and heart are not on the same page. I feel that his heart is feeling something but his brain is fighting. Give him a bit of time, he'll be back on form, pursuing stronger than ever.

ConfusedbyaCancer, Only time will tell. And follow the womens advice, play it cool, keep it light and relax. Tactic, COOL, CALM and COLLECTED!!! Good luck my dear. We are all right behind you =D

@Keldjoran... Oh hunny. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling much better though after that. It's like a drug isn't it. It feels sooo good when you have it and afterwards, you have withdrawal symptoms and feel crap. You know YOU DESERVE BETTER. Remember, don't be afraid to lose him. If you're going to play don't let your emotions get in the way. Detach yourself. I know it's hard to do, but it's not impossible. Some people can do it. I have a Cappy friend and she's good. She can have sex without feelings... whilst with me and I know Cancers too the more we make love the more emotionally attach we get and that's the hardest thing with us. So I changed my game. I promised myself not to sleep with a man till I know he's completely, madly in love before I fall and give my flower...LOL.

In respect to 'Friends with benefits' you know it will be hard to continue that, as you already know - that is a lie you're telling yourself It can't work with us. We cannot do friends with benefits for the same reason above. You need to be stronger. Remember ROI.. what is the return your getting on your investment. Think of it as a transaction, to help you detach yourself emotionally. And please try very hard not to put yourself in that situation again with him because you're asking for it and you'll only hurt more. You can do it, ease away slowly "STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE"... Find another play mate if you must.

Long distance is tough. It is really challeneging, speaking from experience. And yes, cancer men and cancer females are not into 'long distance' relationships.. My cancer told me he can't do long distance because he needs to be with the person, touch them and physically feel them and needs someone in the same zip code. He likes to spend quality time... and you can't do that in a long distance. I'm a Virgo and I don't think I can get use to long distance as well. =(

Thanks Lindie. You seem like such a different person from when we first read your posts. Your aura is so positive and strong. Really, really happy and proud of you! xox

Ok. Cheer squad! HOLD THE CHEERS!!! It's not a ring! =(

He asked me if he can add my sister on FB... and then asked if she can keep a secret... hmmm. Suspicious! And that he needs more than 4hrs to ask "Will you marry me?.." yupp he wrote me that on the email. Then he said that 'my other surprise will be coming from Brisbane'...??!!!

I think (here's hoping, wishing, crossing my fingers, praying to all the gods) that he means that the ring he will buy from/in Brisbane, since he hasn't had time in Sydney to buy it, as we're always together and he will ask me in March when his contract finishes when we're together

Also, he's told his family about me/us and that he may well be living in Sydney. His mum freaked! As she should. But she thinks I'm sweet and is looking forward to meeting me...

So I (including you guys) will have to wait MARCH 2010!!! for an update. Please keep me sane during these few months! I will need it.

Keldjoran, I will send it for fun. Let's see what he says. LOL!

Again, thank you! to EACH and EVERY ONE of you for all the support. xoxox

@Keldjoran, so... how's the plan going?.,, how you holding up? I think that it is an excellent strategy/plan of attack. Because no matter what happens you will come out on top. At the end of the day you have to think of the ROI (Return On (your) Investment).

@KittyMouse, i have had similar thing said to me by my cancer earlier i our relationship. It's not so much insecurity, it's fear. My cancer man's exact words were "I fear that I am not enough for you when you really see who I am and how I am."... Only because our world is completely different and he felt that he wouldn't measure up to me.

What I learned was that no matter what we say to make them see this is not the case, it is not our problem nor our issue. Sounds selfish huh. But you see I believe that they have to be the one to change that. We can't change the facts, but we can change ourselves and how we view things. You cannot help or change a person till that person learns to help or change theirselves. If they truly love you they will do everything in their power to keep you even if it means becoming your equal and bettering themselves.

I think its the former with your situation. I doubt he feels you are not good enough. Usually men have more fears than us women only because they feel they have more to live up to compared to us. I think it is his fears.

Cancer men are jealous types. My cancer has made it known that he's the jealous type. One situation was, regarding my gym instructor. He got jealous and said said he didn't like him. Another situation was a miscommunication regarding my sisters boyfriend. He missed an email prior and misunderstood and thought I went to dinner with another man, instead of my family having dinner with my sisters boyfriend he only got the bit where I said "Dinner with Rob was good. He seems like a nice guy with good intentions". My cancer guy wrote me this back "DID I MISSS AN EMAIL..... what DINNER .... ROB..... and its good that you are a quite laid back person, I AM JEALOUS!!! WHO IS THAT GUY... with good intensions???" I still laugh about it now.

So to answer your question. A cancer man, will not let you do anything with another man. It could be even for pure selfish reasons, but obviously it is because they like you. But it also depends on the relationship you have with them and the stage of the relationship.

@ConfusedbyaCancer, I had the same happen to me believe it or not. I had a near death car accident. A truck missed me by half a metre, not even. Of course I told my cancer man this. He contacted me straight way, relieved I was ok and that I should stay away from the road. He showed his genuine concern. I told him that instead of my life flashing before my eyes. It opened up my eyes to realised what I wanted in life, seeing that I almost missed out on what could've been, including, marriage and a family. That's when he started to discussing the possibility of marriage and proposing... I suppose why I'm telling you this story is, to make you aware about the proper response if a man does really care for you and your wellbeing.

I'm sure he doesn't hate you... but as Keldjoran said It is now time for you to start thinking about yourself and the start looking at the other direction. But first you have to learn to let go. Forgive him for hurting you and forgive yourself for letting him hurt you and heal. When a door closes another will open up....

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!! I love reading your posts. What will I do without you's!?!!! Sandran I maybe can fit in a suitcase. I'm only small, just under 5'0 feet and weighing 53 kilos. Apparently my cancer man can bench press me. LOL!!!

I bet ya guys it's a paper weight!!! Oh and Leoscorpio, I would LOVE to propose to him BUT told me on an email before that he doesn't want his girl to propose and if she did he will say no =( plus aren't women only allowed to propose every leap year?!! which means I'll have to wait.

Sandran you have the most creative imagination... a pet?... a wild bird?... I'm thinking, a peacock?.. or a dog with the ring on it's collar being delivered... awww, that's so sweet.

Thank you for cheering me up. I will definitely keep you updated. I will see him this Thursday for the last time and we will be exchanging gifts.

Lindie, you are a busy woman! Maybe I should take up an extra curricullar activity to take my mind of this proposal! =D

Keldjoran, think that sending that youtube clip will work?

Aww THANK YOU Sandran. And THANK YOU guys, all of you in advance... just to re-cap last time he mentioned proposing was before the cruise. He said I really need to be on the NYE cruise (a twelve day cruise in Sth Pacific) because he will ask me the four magic words "WILL YOU....." was what he wrote. He also said he wanted to see my face and my reaction....

But now he can't find a way to get me on the cruise. My concern is if he will still ask that, either before he leaves for Brisbane (Dec 17) and then I won't see him till March 7!!! He's planning to stay a couple of weeks once his contract finishes and then we go back to Germany together. That's the plan. So many things can happen in 80 days!!! Wouldn't you think he wants to secure me before he goes?!!!

He told me the other day he got me my Christmas present it's in a small box, but heavy! An 'engagement ring' is not supposed to be heavy. So I guess it's not =(

I'm now just waiting for him to pop the friggin question and I'm going mental thinking when. I can't stop singing "If you want then ya should've put a ring on it!!!..." Maybe I shoould send him that youtube clip of that song, just to make it obvious. LOL!

@Sandran... I think it depends. I got that from a book. Hahah. It's called Bedazzled by Liz Rose

My cancer loves White. Especially on me Tshirts, underwear, you name it. He thinks it makes me look innocent and pure. LOL. Puke Even though my sign is the Virgin Maiden I'm so far from that! LOL! I have the nun vs wh*re sydnrome. Two sides battling it out. One day mother Teresa, and some it's Dita VonTease. hahah.

Plus he's also the sporty type and likes me in jeans and casual. But he also appreciates when I wear my power suites for work and my cute lil vintage/summer dresses. But my style is really simple and classy, a bit on the conservative side. Must be Virgo thing

Sandran -Cancer's have a hard time accepting gifts<<

That is true, especially when they cannot return the kind gesture. My cancer man said that, he told me to stop buying things for hime especially because he can't return the favour and he feels bad about it. Apparently, people have different ways of expressing their love. There's this book about it called 'The five languages of love" one of these is giving gifts, other through gestures, affirmations, like telling someone you love them and so forth. People have a primary love language and the rest secondary. Mine is gift giving, like you MySkittles, to show we care and we appreciate.

I feel and think you have done the right thing. You made the effort it is now up to him. That's the only way we can know if he cares. He has to walk the talk. He's told you he cared for you and your special and now he can follow through with some action. And you my dear need to give him that chance. Let's wait and see. Let him start always. The beauty of being a woman is the fact that we are the ones being chased, let them chase YOU. All you have to do is remain strong, active, busy, enjoy your life, think of you and your family and the rest will follow...

Sandran712>>I have an UPDATE on the Cancer dumbass...He emailed me last night under the email I knew for sure he would get.He told me he received my emails.And replied to them.I never received not a one.Not only I feel like I am the Dumbass!lol.Matched set now...lol.<<

Yippeee!!! OMG. Finally. We have lift off! Progress =D

Oh and he tells me he loves me and misses me often. And most important when I get my moods and have my doubts and worries he puts me at ease and never like/want me to be unhappy, worried or doubtful...