Hi Lindie xoxo - You sound well and I'm happy that you're happy Thank you for the nice words. Maybe over now with the ex. But that doesn't mean it's over for you. Do what Emeraldfields say. Flirt a bit. I want to actually challenge you to go put on your best ensemble, your dancing shoes, go out and approach a nice man you find appealing and say hello. If you're feeling even more daring, ask him if he wants a drink

Katie1982... the secret is nothing more than Just being yourself!. Sounds lame huh?! But it's true. I have not been any different with my cancer fella, how I am when he met me and how I am now. Another secret, don't be afraid to show you're negative side early on or voice out what you want and need. We all have our imperfections and our bad side our needs and wants. If a man wants you he'll see your vice as virtues and he will accept them and he will work on your needs and wants and on your part you will do the same. Comes from the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days!" the film is overly exaggerated, but it's a great way to learn if he's a keeper! And lastly, the last secret I will share with you is 'Ignore them!' Cancer we all know are moody, emotional, sulky, erratic, insecure and the list goes on. Keep true to yourself, if you know you're confident in yourself and you're certain about how you feel, you shrug off their negativity and their mood swings, don't let it get to you. He'll be back to normal again. Always act neutral with them however they are and don't indulge them and get them to bring you down. Occasionally though, reverse it and give it back to them. Show them your moodiness, your emotional vulnerability, your insecurities, because we do feel like that sometimes too being women, once a month especially!

Try not to have any expectations. Don't expect he's the one, let him prove that to you. Don't hold back but also don't just dive in head first.

It's really not about the A-hole detector. Most the time, we women can detect it in first instance, instinct, but we still go there to make sure, to see if it truly is the case, we could be wrong, we want to find out, maybe we can change them, but he's this other times so he can't be, and we give excuses for their A-hole behaviour and we say to ourselves if I'm the one he'll realise and won't be an A-hole to me because I'm special, not like the others he dated and the worse most of us think and feel it's the best we're going to get and so accept the A-hole... and it goes on. So really what we're doing is seeing the A-hole detector flashing, but most of us choose to ignore.

Keldjoran baby!!! Yes I am, wasn't leaving you guys anytime soon How's everything with Scorpio fella?... You have a new twinkling star in the horizon?... hhhmmmm.. =D

Hi Katie1982! Gosh, you do sound like a true Virgin to the core. Your emotional nature, how you love and relate to people, from what I've read in your posts is a very Virgoan nature. I can very much relate to you. One thing about Virgo's apart from giving whole heartedly and becoming vulnerable once in love, is the ability to also cut ties with sharp blade and with precision. Virgo's although have the softness and gentleness also have the backbone of steel, nowadays platinum. I know with myself when I love I give all of me and that's why I can get easily hurt, but when I see the cracks and realise I'm being mistreated or not appreciated and I start to become unhappy in a relationship, I can cut my losses easily. It still hurts but I manage to keep strong. It's because I love myself whole heartedly too and if I can give that love to another I best give it to me first and I will not let anyone bring me down or treat me bad. I also don't give out second chances. Once a man truly hurts me beyond measure, that's it he's out. But I do have the three strike rule for minor imperfections. Like you, I get excited easily about anything that tickles my fancy and I am quite impatient, I want everything now. This is it, it can only get better. Very optimistic. This can sometimes be our down fall. The upside we easily recover and shake it off and find another exciting thing to look forward too

Hello beautiful people!!! I trust that everyone had a lovely Christmas and a great start to the New Year! I have been super busy over the holidays. Hope everything is going well for you guys. I'm still with my cancer fella and we're still going pretty strong and I'm happy as Larry! Nothing exciting to share though unfortunately... sadly, no ring on the finger =(

@Keldjoran and Sandran, well... no ring for this Christmas. But when I saw him last Thursday, our last day together till March 2010...we passed by a jewelry window. He asked me what kind of ring I'd like and I pointed out a couple. He said hopefully he'll get it right....

Talking about hobbies and your musical talents. My cancer has taken up painting to alleviate stress and negativity. I did read that it's very good for cancers to take up hobbies for the same reasons so you guys don't get bogged down with what's happening, as it's an outlet for your overactive imaginations and self defeating tendencies.

@Keldjoran. Very proud of you!!! Keep it up. You know how hard it is in re-hab. Be strong. At least you didn't need intervention!! LOL =D

Coming up to Christmas... I just want to wish every single friend I have in this thread. Those who I know post here. This is the thread I first joined and were I met the kindest, fun, loving and generous people. I wish to thank you all for being you and for your friendship. I sincerely hope that this christmas, would be full of joy and good fortune for all of us. It's become bigger than all about cancer man. In these last posts I've realised we have all been more than a name and a post, but really beautiful indinidual who have so many things in common. I wish you all the very best for 2010!!!

Oh and I'm not going anywhere. I just really feel like putting that out there. LOL!! =D

Luan...Sounds like it was a great trip. Worthwile... hmmm. Don't worry, Lindie is right, he will miss you. I do know this. I may even have a feeling, that he is analysisng and thinking of what has happened. His brain and heart are not on the same page. I feel that his heart is feeling something but his brain is fighting. Give him a bit of time, he'll be back on form, pursuing stronger than ever.

ConfusedbyaCancer, Only time will tell. And follow the womens advice, play it cool, keep it light and relax. Tactic, COOL, CALM and COLLECTED!!! Good luck my dear. We are all right behind you =D

@Keldjoran... Oh hunny. I'm sorry to hear that. Hope you're feeling much better though after that. It's like a drug isn't it. It feels sooo good when you have it and afterwards, you have withdrawal symptoms and feel crap. You know YOU DESERVE BETTER. Remember, don't be afraid to lose him. If you're going to play don't let your emotions get in the way. Detach yourself. I know it's hard to do, but it's not impossible. Some people can do it. I have a Cappy friend and she's good. She can have sex without feelings... whilst with me and I know Cancers too the more we make love the more emotionally attach we get and that's the hardest thing with us. So I changed my game. I promised myself not to sleep with a man till I know he's completely, madly in love before I fall and give my flower...LOL.

In respect to 'Friends with benefits' you know it will be hard to continue that, as you already know - that is a lie you're telling yourself It can't work with us. We cannot do friends with benefits for the same reason above. You need to be stronger. Remember ROI.. what is the return your getting on your investment. Think of it as a transaction, to help you detach yourself emotionally. And please try very hard not to put yourself in that situation again with him because you're asking for it and you'll only hurt more. You can do it, ease away slowly "STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE"... Find another play mate if you must.