I don't know what his moon and rising signs are but he fluctuates between outgoing and super chatty to very sensitive and withdrawn. This is also the case with me. We are both artistic people, he is a producer and I am a writer. We seem to be so incredibly similar in our interests and moods, but somehow, the more he attempts to appease me and gain my trust, the more I distrust him.
Most of it has to do with the fact that he is still great friends with his ex wife who is also a Gemini. She is engaged and has a baby with another man, yet she and my boyfriend were high school sweethearts and they still have matching puzzle piece tattoos. He has told me that he will not stop being friends with her. Because of this, I am very, very cautious! He wants me to show more affection toward him and I have analyzed this to the millionth degree. I wonder if he wants this in order to make his ex jealous. However, when we are together in private, he has this look in his eye and he has told me he is falling for me. I did not respond to this, but I am affectionate with him and I am falling for him.
If I am being honest, I want to win. I want to annihilate his ex and I want him to prove to me that he is 100% loyal. In my mind I hear myself saying "work for it boy!" I also have huge urges to make him jealous and have done so in very indirect manipulative ways. I then feel guilty after the fact. He does not have a problem with me meeting the ex, although the time that she was supposed to come out, she ended up not making it.
He has opened up to me more and more over the past several months that we have been together. Although he has done some seriously childish things to gain my attention, such as blocking his relationship status on facebook. When I noticed this and questioned him about it, he initially said he didn't know it was like that and then fixed it. Later, he admitted that he only blocked it from my view and that he was 'getting me back' for questioning whether we should remain together. He would not apologize to me, but when I got upset over this he spent 2 hours on the phone telling me he would do anything I want to make things work and he has since texted and called me every day.
I have never been attracted to men who are doormats for me and submit to my whim right away. But I also lose interest if there is too much of a chase. This Gemini seems to have hit the sweet spot right in the middle. However I do ultimately want a functional relationship with a great degree of trust. I'm caught in this scenario where I am only interested in someone if there is a challenge, but deep down I want to love and be loved.
So I wonder if the progress we have made is a positive sign, or if I should abandon ship because of his Gemini tendencies and the ex wife still in the picture?