Oh and by the way, the answer is NO! and hi to you Taurus

For the full history, you can view some of the topics that I started...it has been an emotional rollercoaster, tumultuous, a relationship full of turmoil...whatever you want to call it for over a year. And no, my last post entitled 'Given up on Love' was not the last break up. There was another one...

The relationship has been nuts. He broke up with me 8 times, for a variety of reasons, ranging between him 'not feeling it' to just being reactionary, angry and bitter. He actively pursued others at times. He disrespected me. He hurt me brutally...he did quite a few numbers on me and crossed more red lines that I can mention.

Now he has come back again. This time he says he is changed for good. That this time it's back for good. He has been sweet and more emotional and kind than ever. He wants to spend the rest of his life with me, loves me with every fiber of his body and won't stop until he stops breathing. Called me his family. the love of his life.

He says that he has always been terrified of being abandoned. But I stayed and persevered. He says he never had a romantic relationship before (although had a wife of 14 years, and a boyfriend of 5 years). He never felt romance or genuinely loved. He says that he knows for sure that I love him, because I stood strong despite his incessant dramatic fits, trauma, tantrums, seesawing, and I just never gave up really. He says that he knows what he wants and he will do whatever it takes to keep me, to make it up to me and to prove himself to me. He doesn't deserve me but he wants to make me happy and proud. We've been talking for a week now. And he started a blog where he publicly dealt with a lot of his issues and problems and insecurities.

I can go on forever with the details...but what do you guys think?

Does a leopard change its stripes? Will he relapse into the old him and hurt me again? What are your thoughts? Can people really grow and change...I read that people only change when the hurt and pain from not changing outweighs that of staying the same...it seems that he has been truly depressed and miserable from what he says, posted on Facebook, the way his friends hate my guts (for they do not know details, just that we broke up). People usually assume that I'm the one who would cause all these things, because I am the stronger one in the relationship. I'm very outgoing and fun, and although I never really moved on, I just don't wear my heart on my sleeve the way he does...

I would appreciate some words of wisdom here!

Wow. why can't it just be simple? I mean i sometimes get caught up in overanalyzing, but seriously, I don't get this extra cautious attitude with cancerians, especially when they usually mess up the relationship with their push/pull, emotional outbursts, insane, unrealistic jealousy and overtly romantic grand expectations...

Hmmm, yes, the 'cheating' part is weird. perhaps he meant he didn't want to lead you on?

If somebody wants you, they WILL contact you and approach you. they will find a way to get to you, especially when you did not do anything wrong and were not at fault, so there is no reason for you to get entangled in guilt (I am not saying that you are, but I am just saying, in case you face the insidious 'what-if's' then you know how to silence him).

i dont know if you read or watched 'he;s just not that into you' but i really think their insights are true!

interesting T7...care to elaborate though?

Mine is just really annoying. push. pull. push. pull. i dont get why do they complicate the hell out of everything.

also...I dont get why do they insist on winning EVERY ARGUMENT. why do they always want you to give more...and be more than happy doing it, as if it is their damn god given right, and they are not willing to give back the same in return?!

i never understood the white lies...do they think they're protecting us from something? if there is ANYTHING in this world i hate, it is lying. i can even put up with physical abuse, just no lying!

Well i didn't mean to be patronizing. I just know that my approach might be too blunt and hurtful, so just wanted to give a 'warning' so to speak, but i think my experience on these dynamics could be helpful...

I think your guy panicked at first and felt that there was a huge step too soon that required a lot of emotional investment. The same happened to me and it really needs time that is all. it is not a matter of the other person, but a matter of being sure. I've found that geminis take longer to commit and fall than say Sagittarius or Cancer - and yes we can commit! lol

I think he reappeared again after the intimidation and shock wore off and if you want to keep the guy (and if you really want him - evaluate before diving in...) just really be fun, light and not heavy or too emotional at first. I feel that Cancerians live in their heads sometimes and place these grand expectations and want the other person to commit and give so much (usually when they are not as invested - it stems from their fear) and that can be really heavy at first. It'll happen naturally. they're also critical, and that is a turn off- a gemini's natural inclination is to please others, especially people they like or love...it puts pressure when we feel we dont live to the others expectations.

i've found that although we might not seem to be the most balanced of people, we like balanced people, or people who can combine contradictions at once - which cancerians are good at. for example, to be sweet, but not smothering, caring but not fretting, light and fun but not too detached, logical and practical but not too cold...that balance is hard to find and we really appreciate it. i think both signs are rather moody and that's the main challenge.

i hope it all works out! we're a very fun bunch, and yes, i admit a handful sometimes! figure out his birth chart, i've found that helps a big deal...a gemini with a lot of water or earth influence varies greatly from the more hardcore geminis (with air and fire signs)...

Hmmmm i understand all that you're saying and feeling (except for the sex part frankly!!). The problem with them (and I face exactly the same issue) is that we expect people to act rationally, sometimes at least, and try to wrap our heads around them...but these guys...feel...and only feel..hardly rely on logic. they can be practical, but rarely logical, unless they really evolved. That's my observation from friends and the boyfriend as well...

I really think you need to evaluate. you have nothing to lose if you directly approach him: sit down with him, set the scene and really invest. then ask him directly if he's interested in you two being together. or just seal the deal by sleeping with him (they're action oriented and sex isn't a light affair for them I think. not sure yet though).

Think of it this way: it would be a shame to quit something before even trying it....

i say just take it easy and really try to be fun...do you want me to be blunt and talk about the cancer-gemini dynamic? (but i might be hurtful...especially to a cancerian person, but it stems from my personal experience and might give you some insight - of course no two situations are essentially the same, so there's nothing personal)...