I googled a question regarding Virgos: "How long does it take a Virgo to get over a relationship?". That's when I found this forum and was amazed at the posts about Virgo men. By the way, I'm Cancer and he's Virgo.
I'm at a different place than the two of you, Jen and dttn. I met and hung out with a Virgo man for approximately two months. He told me he was seeing someone and I told him I had a "sexual" buddy but that I wasn't in a relationship.
Things were going along fine for about two weeks and then he begins to tell me how much he wants me for himself, loves me and that he would leave her for me. I instructed him not to leave because I would never trust him not to do the same to me in the near future. He began to promise me the world, even offered to purchase me a house (poor economy houses are available for under $40K) and that he would take care of me. I explained to him I wasted looking for a Sugar Daddy but instead a mate. He insisted he would spoil me rotten, etc.
All of this was a lie.......I don't believe he had the cash and I believe that he was in a committed relationship when we met. I continued to deal with him even after I had my suspicions about his inability to be honesty because I secretly hoped that he would realize that I was not as materialistic as he may have initially thought and come clean so we could start over fresh. That never happened so I became fed up with unavailablity, inability to follow through with appointments and just always in a rush to do whatever.
As you both stated, he would adamantly protest the possibility of us separating and this would make me feel so desired. But I realized that it wasn't that he really wanted me, it was that he was so insecure that the idea of not having two women (at least) meant he would have to weather the storm with just one woman. In essense, I was his cruch.
So, I made a decision to end the relationship completely. It was extremely difficult because I had allowed all the possibilities of this relationship to dance through my mind but I wasn't happy anymore. I asked him to give me space to allow the feelings to dissipate and me let go. That's been three weeks and he just called me again yesterday but I didn't answer. Sometimes you have to make decisions that are difficult because they will give you piece of mind. I hate chaos and uncertainty so I refused to immerse myself in it any longer. He wants to be friends but I can't be true friends with someone who has deceived me. I can forgive but that doesn't mean I have to keep you in my life. Its best for both of us to go our separate ways without any hateful or resentful feelings.
It may seem harsh but if these men loved you they would make moves to be with you now instead of playing the waiting game. If you're willing to wait until their situations change, at least do it from a distance. Put space in between you and if its meant to be, God will bring you back together. Otherwise, you're just taking yourself through unneccessary pain, games, heartache and confusion. Let go and let God!
Please don't think I'm making light of either of your situations. I've just had a revealation, "If a situation, in my intimate life, does not bring me happiness 90% of the time, it has to go. Period!"
Thanks for sharing ladies.