Thank you for this reading. I have often found when I do write it does relieve many of my stresses. I am currently dealing with stress and indecision much more than I have in the past and coincidentally am not doing any creative writing at this time. I do find myself to be much more creative than those around me, and generally come up with new, or out of the ordinary ideas and I pride myself on this.
I feel very confused and lost as to what I am to make of myself and how to offer something of substance and value to society. I often struggle trying to figure out what path will lead to happiness. The one of material wealth where I can later relax and enjoy family and traveling without having to worry financially. Or the simple life where I surround myself with people I love, doing things that I love and worry about the financial part as it comes. I am such a planner and very independent the idea of not having my own money or enough is very scary to me. I dont mind relying on others when its an option but I feel very uncomfortable being forced to rely on someone because I couldnt provide it for myself. Giving up control is hard for me and Im trying to work on it, but its very hard.
I want to be an inspiration, I want to create meaning. When I pass I want people to think of me as someone who gave something substantial to society, who had a positive outlook on life and shared that with others. The question is how do I work towards achieving that?