Read this book "Conversations With God". No, don't scream it's not a bible it's the opposite rather. It will make u re-think everything u've been told by the world, u'll be so liberated, u'll question that very need u have inside u. I really want to be with u on this, to the end if u allow me. Yes it's very true we help others but can't do a damn thing for ourselves. We don't know how to tap into that magic yet we all possess it, (which makes it all pointless i guess)!
I think i hear u. Read book 1 of the above mentioned book. Get it at Exclusive Books or even CNA. That's a necessary starting point. Just do it, u don't have to love it to do it. If this sounds tidius and depressing, take it easy, don't buy it, read it in the shop, first chapter. Then talk to me. We don't always have to feel excited to do these things, so just drag urself there when u have the time. U'll see.