I completely understand what your going thru. My cancer husband after 22 years of marriage decided to bail out.(he's 53 and im 41) The first 2 months I felt like I had post traumatic syndrome. Cried every day almost all day. But now 4 months have past and Im getting stonger. I still have bad days but Im starting to really see what type of human being he is. He is a liar and cheat. And will not take ANY reasonability for any part he has played. From the cheating to the lying. We also have major financial problems. He has blamed me for all of it.
The one thing that I really don't understand is why he still wants to have contact with me He wanted out and I caused all these probelms. I just don't get that part. I do know that he dosen't like very stong women. His ego is big and all about himself its pathetic. We do have a 21 year old son. But he's grown and out on his own. But he still wants to play head games by conacting me. From the divorce to sex. He wants to date. Which amounts to sex once a week. Go figure. My family and friends believes he going through a midelife crisis. He had a heart attack at the age of 51 All I can say he needs to move on to someone else. I will not tolerate any of his issues no longer.
After reviewing the memory file Im starting to see several indiscretions over the years of our marriage. That was played off as something else. At this point Im trying to fix myself so that I don't take any of this garabge with me into the next relationship I have. And I will love another man because after all the drama I still believe in true love. But I will not have my head hiding in a hole again either. If you take away anything from these couple of paragrahps remember this. You are a human being with feelings and love. Do not let this person take that away from you. I almost did. For that first 2 months I believed everything he said I caused. But not now.
Take Care and God Bless You and Your Children.