To Cheribaby: That's great you are in love with a (Gemini) man. Hopefully, he is one of the few who won't play games and sabotage it. However, just know that it all starts out wonderful; I had those same "sparks" in the beginning (I think most people do, regardless of sign). The Geminis I dated made me laugh more than anyone--one of their good traits. Check. They know how to pull you in with their charm and such. Check. Oh, he forgets to call? Check again. That's a classic I dealt with, too. Just giving you a heads up. Just as we don't want the hurt woman who started this thread to use a sign as the gospel and end-all (or give up), you gotta make sure you're not naive and ignoring bad signs therein, regardless of his zodiac symbol.

Bohemian person: Holy angry, batman. It sounds to me as if you like Geminis, so you're lashing out in defense for what she doesn't like. I am a Leo, but I couldn't care less if someone hates Leos. Actually, to be frank, I can see why Leos can be annoying. My father is a Leo, too. We don't get along because we both have strong personalities. My brother's wife is a Leo and I can't stand her. My ex is a Leo and he is a pompous jerk. Can't please em all. Many people despise certain signs, and really it isn't the person they despise--the sign starts to separate from the actual human being. I think deep down most people know this; they're just hurt by the person and equate it to the sign, rather than the individual's choice to be an idiot.

In other words, if I were to run into a Leo, but not know it (I don't ask signs unless it just accidentally gets brought up, say, running across horoscopes in a newspaper or something and we're hanging together), I am not going to stop liking that person simply because of his sign. I will always give that person a chance, regardless. Rather, I would just have it on the backburner of my mind to be on the look-out for typical signs that sign usually reflects. Nothing more. I would give this lady a break and let it burn itself out. Even God can't please everybody, so we can't expect to.

Oh, one more thing: Geminis are great talkers...smooth talkers. This is why you get sucked in, and this is usually why a woman stays sucked in...they know what to say and how to say it, all with humor and a great smile or addictive laugh. More importantly, they love to talk about themselves, because they're their own best fan. You just sit back and enjoy the show, and understand that it isn't "Open Mike Night." Such is the way of many Gemini men. Just had to add that in...

Actually, all my experiences with Gemini men turned out bad as well. Most Geminis behave with split personalities and constant confusion of what they want, because they are the twins by sign. They're dually-charged, with one half of them pulling one way, and the other half the other way. There is an incessant need to explore, explore, explore.

Both Gemini men I dated had the same problems (save for the humor part): self-absorbed, cocky, funny, physically fit, vain, and always looking for that "high." Geminis will initially be attracted to someone who stands out and portrays zest and vigor. This is the quest for Geminis: to always look for that adrenaline rush. So, they get reeled in by your energy--you do the same with them (which is why the beginning part is so darn exciting)--but once that initial rush is over, and he's gotten "used" to you (average time: 3-5 weeks), he will pull away.

This usually reflects in the form of bashing, smart-mouth quips at your expense, or excuses why he "can't make it." Sabotaging things is the Gemini specialty. This way he can weasel out of an explanation and discreetly go out the back door onto new ventures. This isn't to say all Geminis cheat, but they definitely start to admire new pastures and ponies grazing while in his 5th week with you. The only kind of girl who will last longer than the 5th week is someone who doesn't ask questions and tolerates him roaming new pastures...and of course, you better stay fit and look good, too. Arm charms are the hub of the wheel for Geminis.

For the people feeling offended by this overall view of Geminis, don't shoot the messenger. I have Leo as a sign and I can fully admit my negative drawbacks as one (not just my admirable qualities). There are a few signs that have more setbacks and annoyances, than endearing qualities--Gemini unfortunately is one of those signs.

Hi SunCappyGirl,

My knee-jerk, gut instinct is that it all boils down to not being able to run from what God wants for you. This could be a sign of you either already being on a path He doesn't want you on, or you are about to approach one, and panic, taking the road to run away from what you really need to face. In doing so, you will only make your life worse, by getting lost, scared and confused. I suspect a huge test is coming your way.

I think you are also going to be dealing with guilt, because you know that you are not doing what you need to do, to face some fears of yours. To truly achieve and graduate in God's eyes, we all have to walk through the fire, not find a way to sneak around it. And God is simply reminding you that you cannot sneak around and get the easy way out; He is watching, and Him taking the candies is just his literal gesture that He sees all.

This is actually a good thing, really, because He is pointing out you are worth the fight and strong test ahead of you. You can and will endure, but you might question yourself and if you are a strong enough person. I have been through a VERY similar dream, as well as life theme. In the end, the good people all go to God, so He is trying to culminate us to all take the path of MOST resistance, and to not be afraid, because He is watching--and helping.

One more thing: it is not my business, but perhaps you had childhood trauma or something? Typically, dreams like this are reflective of such, and your huge trial to face the processing of it, is coming. The falling down the hole is you suffering for trying to run from your best friend, God. And what happened? He stopped you from further plummeting, to prove He is on your side. So far, this is my instinct on this dream of yours. Hope it helps.

Hi Wenchie,

I will write more on this later, but here is my knee-jerk gut reaction to the signs you've given me:

Initially, I didn't have a very good feeling about the signs you've given me. This is not to say it can't work, because--like I tell everybody--there are tons of other denominators involved, well beyond mere signs.

The problem is you have a double of Virgo in you. I suspect you probably analyze and try to figure out everything he's pulling and doing. And, him being part Taurus AND part Cancer, well, this can only mean one thing: annoyed! Does he get annoyed easily by you and your questions or observations?

I suspect he flip-flops a lot, being a Cancer, and is quite sensitive to your Virgo ways. Additionally, you are a Taurus, so you are fixed in your ways or beliefs. This might be too rigid for him.

The only solace is that he can "get" why you're like that, because he has Taurus in him, too. But what do two bulls do? They fight, not get along! May the biggest bull win! Your other buffer is the Cancer aspect. Surely, this will cause confusion and moodiness in the relationship, but at least it will loosen up the Taurus side to him.

Compatibility charts all point to you guys being a great match. I am a few notches below that in terms of applauding the match, because I base my view more on experience and observation--not template answers from a book.

The bottom line is we all know Cancerians are moody and run to their shell when hurt. Tauruses are stubborn and don't like change, so this might solidify his desire to stay in his shell like a pouting kid. Virgo women can be very caring and considerate, but also too practical and analytical.

His Cancerian side might need more of that soft, womanly touch to come out and lure him back out of the shell. If you have the patience to put up with that, he might meet you halfway more consistently. But remember that this might not make him grow as a person. He's going to have to learn to balance his moodiness and stubborness on his own; not have his hand held all the time.

Hi DeRoiste,

I'm about to take a nap, but saw your post and wanted to comment. I am assuming you are female, and that can make a difference in my response. Obviously, I do not know all the denominators of who you are, your specific history, age, etc. So, that said, I can only base my gut-instinct, etc., on what you've provided--and of course, your sign.

The problem with Aries is that they want to be loved, but don't know how to handle "the guns" and properly fire. More specifically, they fire too fast and all over the place. This stems from their exuberance and impatience. Aries types want to hit that finish line quicker than anyone, and they want it now.

This isn't to say Aries types aren't hard workers; in fact, they are one of the hardest working signs out there. The problem is, they do have a slight disconnection of that requirement when it comes to love.

Aries types are very physical people, and very flighty. This often causes them to not fully pay attention to what THEY really want...and what their partner is all about. The deeper layers are rarely peeled back and examined. Aries are just ADD about that sometimes...not to mention don't often have the patience to sit down and deal with something like that. This usually sets the relationship up for failure.

Now, like you said, you hate hurting people. I dated an Aries man and he was impatient, quick to get things rolling, and never really stopped and dealt with ME. I became almost out of sight, out of mind. But when he cheated on me...for years he apologized for ruining the best thing he'd ever had. He hated that he hurt me, and this tore him up for years on end. I do believe Aries types have strong emotions...but unfortunately it is in reverse...that is, after the damage is done.

You mentioned how you "never really thought about it" when you marched into the relationships. That says something, and is classic for an Aries. You are going through the motions, but not really feeling and thinking when it's needed. It's only when you're at a loss, your brain and heart opens up and connects each other. Then you're feeling what you should've plugged into during the relationship.

If you can be aware of this right from the beginning, I am sure this will greatly improve your chances of reading and feeling out who you're dating, and if he is right for you. You'll be tuned into what you want, what he wants, and if that works for the two of you. If it doesn't, then out you go, but much earlier in the game, and less pain incurs.

I'd start a journal and really ask yourself what you want for you and in a partner. I believe thinking and feeling it--something Aries have got to sit down and have patience to do--is key to changing that Aries bad habit. Hope this helps some.

Hi cuspbaby,

There is lots I could say, but I will try not to write a novel here. Aside from the simple fact that high school boys are confused, insecure, lost and finding their way (not to mention their brain is not done growing until 25, and their sexual peak is around 18), his sign is also an issue, or at least a component in this case.

Cancerians are very moody, very sensitive people. The moment they are hurt, it becomes a mountain, not a molehill. I know very little about the discrepancies of your relationship, what exactly went on, or who did what. All I can go by is that he changed due to hanging with a bad crowd. Was it just curiosity? Or was he upset with you and so found a new place to retreat and feel less hurt?

The thing with Cancerians is that it is a one-way street. They play a big double standard rule, in that they will have a sense of entitlement to their moods and ignoring you. As long as they want to be upset, it is their given right, in their mind. But, don't you dare give them a dose of their medicine! If you do the same, they hate it. Their dream is for you to bother them and give them praise, never to flub up...but at the same time, they almost get a high off of the rollercoaster format, if you do flub up...because then there is a cause and reason to be upset. This delivers reason and justification to a Cancerian's moodiness!

Indeed, dating one can be exhaustive, unless you have someone who has a rising and/or moon sign that can buffer the moodiness and sensitivity of a crab. Your ex will retreat to his shell, but peek out to watch you and see what you are doing. No surprise he got mad that you were with someone else, despite his own wrongdoings. This is the way of the crab. Is this what you really want to deal with? Because it will cycle over and over again.

You are Aries on the cusp of Taurus, yes? This can be annoying to a Cancerian. You like your way and that's that. Well, Cancerians do too...if only they knew what that was from day to day. A classic week would be like this with these types: "Leave me alone--I hate you!"...then the next day a text of "Why are you ignoring me?"... then when you respond, he hacks on you for what you did to him...then stops talking to you for a couple of days...only to come back around eventually. How tiring!

I sense your sign(s) are reflecting that you are somewhat impatient and assertive. This can come off as a strong woman, and he is worried that you will carve your own path to move on. Aries tend to do that. If someone doesn't like you, it hurts, but you have an easier time moving on if you must. You are strong-willed. However, you are on the cusp of Taurus, so you hate change, and can be fiercely loyal. I sense you are confused, too. This is probably why you two meshed decently. Cancerians feed off of strong, confusing energy like that. It annoys them, yet intrigues them at the same time.

I suspect that unless your ex has other signs which can buffer him--and some time to grow up (he is only 18 after all)--you might be best to move on. He will never get over it, and you'll be apologizing and rehashing everything you've done wrong--and not him at all. Good luck!

Oh boy--a Taurus man! Yes, you are in for a ride, my dear. I dated a Taurus (and I am a Leo sun, Virgo moon, Capricorn rising), so I like to be in the "know" of what the deal is. Well, aside from the fact that this can just be him individually-speaking (acting flip-floppy, immature, cheating, lying or whatever), having a Taurus sign can be a risk...and that, in itself, is laying the foundation for this behavior of his.

Taurus people typically love routine, but THEIR routine. They hate change. Now, for Taurus men, especially the younger ones, freedom to do their own will is vitally important to them. He might be concerned about really getting into you, and falling for you, knowing this would graduate him to the next phase of responsibility--commitment. And that means change. And that is the arch-enemy of Taureans.

Taurus men are also typically very manly men, in the sense that they LOVE women. Actually, they love what women do FOR them, which is different than actually respecting women. This is something you will have to really think about; there is truly a difference. He might be seeing someone else--multiple women, for that matter. I am not trying to put the bug in your ear, but I can't ignore this possibility, especially with such a sign.

If that is ruled out (just him being an idiot and playing/ using you), and you really want to make it work, the key is balance. Squeezing soap too tight only makes it slip out, so Taurus men definitely do NOT want any form of smothering at all. They hate being prodded and probed and interrogated. Are you doing this at all? I am sure to some degree you are (and rightly so), since he is playing this game of "popping his head in and out like a gopher" with you. You have every right to question his bizarre behavior.

I think you are hoping this is a test by him. Perhaps. Taurus men are VERY egotistical, and they need to feel wanted, desired and praised. Their ego is codependent on external forces, namely women. So, here is the struggle: give him attention, but in a loving, sensual, praising way...and yet...do not smother him or bother him with questions and continual concerns. To most men, that equates, unfortunately, to someone who is just using you for a casual encounter with no strings attached.

Personally, for me, it was exhaustive and annoying to deal with the Taurus man I did. If you know his other two signs (which I can find for you if you have his birth date, birth time and location of birth), that can possibly give me more insight into whether he is just going to be this immature, flip-flopping, gopher head-poppin guy...or if he has a chance of being someone cool for you. Oh, let us hope for some buffers for this Taurus man!

Unfortunately for men, you give them an inch and they will take it a mile. Men gauge interest through any physical acceptance of them (that is, touching, etc.), as well as financial acceptance. After all, men will gauge THEMSELVES on those two things, in terms of importance and success.

Men who are insecure, have issues, etc., have this amplified ten-fold. Someone who calls you a lot, texts all the time, expects you to smother him back with the same attention, has serious insecurities and voids he wants you to fill. You have been nominated without your own vote. Men are about action, so if you accept money and smile or touch his arm, answer some of his calls, spend time with him, etc., that trumps any words you spew forth of "I don't want something serious--sorry."

The rules are just that way, and it's human nature. So, since we have to ultimately play human nature's rules, your best bet is to stop accepting his money. That important action will trump any belief he has that there is something serious going on. Sure, he is going to pout, throw a tantrum, etc., but don't all children when they don't get the gumball they want? This is the only way to gas him out.

I am sure it is very difficult to stop accepting money, but this is the leverage--as you put it--he is using. Men like things kept simple and "bottom-lined" so let's fight fire with fire. Be clear and concise about your definitive position with him. Then, if he starts to push boundaries again, you must cease seeing him, if even on a casual level.

Once a guy crosses the line of like to love (or lust), he cannot go back. It's done. You can't un-ring that bell. So, your only option is to eventually end the relationship. These types clearly can't understand moderation or respect for privacy, boundaries and the fact that you are equal to them--not beneath them to control like a dog. Good luck!

I think everybody goes through the question of the ages, that of "I wonder if..." Certainly, we all have had people leave footprints in our hearts...some short term, some long term. It's easier to picture the grass greener on the other side...until you get to that side, and realize it really doesn't seem that much different--or better--than where you once were and had abandoned. My ex, a fellow Leo, pulled that on me, and he was miserable. Of course, he was in love with me, panicked, and took off. The girl he is with now he is not in love with, and was texting me, etc., on and off for months. I eventually told him off.

Your case is slightly different, in that your "soul mate," if you will, is not with you, and you never really got an adult chance to see what it would be like to be with him. We always want what we can't have, but you are married and seemingly happy. There is a high price in taking the risk to check out another pasture, because if you find it isn't all it's cracked up to be, you will go back to your original pasture, perhaps to find it dried up and all hay. Then you're left with nothing.

I'd say that we sometimes are better off as friends to someone. Life is hard enough that finding someone you really understand, feel for and bond with, is hard to come across. Both of you should be happy you at least have someone to talk to. Just make sure you maintain integrity in your boundaries of marriage, and make sure you're like a fish bowl--nothing kept hidden.

As for you seeming to end up with Cancerians and Pisceans, no surprise. Both are sensitive, dreamy-type people. I could tell by how you flutter about, dreaming and wondering in your writing, that you'd have a sign like that...and moreover, attract fellow ones.