I am a 16th july in my early 50s. I too have been going through the mill over the last 4 years. I have lost my partner to cancer, moved home, my kids are growing up fast and moving away (and coming back like the tide and going out again!) My home was violated by bodge builders and now I'm struggling with depression as is my daughter. Phew!! Got to keep looking up though AND how much stronger I am now than four years ago. How much I have learned about myself and others. I used to be so worried about what others were thinking about me. Now I just do what I have to and nuts to those who have a problem with me. I know my heart is good even when I mess up.
I too love meditation, and find it the anchor of my life, while all else changes.
Just at the moment, despite everything I am feeling very conected to the changes of the natural world. Around my home there are lots of new born lambs in the fields and daffodils everywhere. Cool. But when the daffs die something else will come along to please the eye will it not?Wishing all you crabs out there lots of good things.