Hey everyone please help me with this one...

Here is the history: I like you Hotpookie am a taurus. I am a taurus girl with a gemini moon and my recent ex is a gemini with a cancer moon. We had been together 8 months. We have a large age difference between us as he is 23 and I am 37. Crazy huh, who would have ever have thought.... but it definitely wasn't planned. We both worked together and were in dwindling relationships, realized we had a super strong attraction to each other, (although I always knew he had a really big crush on me) ended our relationships with our significant others and decided to give it a go even though we knew the odds were stacked against us.

Our relationship has been tremultous to say the least...we were constantly fighting about the same underlying issues...I couldn't stand how selfish and self-centered he was, and he couldn't stand that I was nervous, controlling, and overbearing. So, this sunday, after a few weeks of space I decided we should break up. The problem is I regretted it the very next day and when I tried to recant everything I had said...I had already talked him out of our relationship.

To make matters worse I got the stomach flu during the whole break up...I was an emotional wreck. I begged and pleaded for him to give us another chance. He in turn, just restated everything I said (word for word) about the fact that we had to break the cycle now or it would just keep going and we would never have a good relationship. He said that he could never not have me in his life because I have been the kindest person he has ever had in his life and that he wanted to remain friends after a week of space and not talking.

He said that because we still love each other its been hard to just give up and that we weren't breaking up because we don't love each other "that's not the isssue" he said its because we just don't get along. He told me that we build up a wall that's put us further apart than we were at the start and now we need to start taking the bricks down one by one by resolving the hurts and issues and then rebuilt our relationship with friendship. He said only than can we see what will happen in the future. He told me that the problem in the past has been that we fight, then we cuddle, and go on with our buisness and never really resolve the issue at hand and then when we feel hurt or slighted underhanded comments come out (on both sides) about a past issue that was never really resolved in the first place (problem is that when I have tried to talk things out to resolve them he feels I am "railing on him"). This week he stayed with me when I was terrribly sick and in horrible sorts. I made him tell me he still loved me and he said "you know how i feel about you...but I dont think it would make things better to tell you"...but then he finally told me he does love me--I know he resisted because he thought it would just make me more upset. Anyway , I did hear him murmur under his breath that he didn't want to break up at one point. In addition, he keeps saying to me "THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN" (meaning the break-up). He says if I am really angry with him and I really want to stick it to him I could never talk to him ever again and that would do it.

Another reason he has stated for the break up was that he feels that he wasn't a good boy friend to me and that he was too over his head. He said he needs to get his life in order by going back to school, getting a better job with a better salary, and better living situation and that he can't give me what I need right now because he can barely support himself. I asked him if there would be a chance in the future like 5 years or so give it another try and he said more like 2 years after he has gotten his life in order and I have gotten more settled too. He said he would definitley consider it ....as he told his best friend before we ever got together that "I am the exact women he has always wanted to have as a wife"

So, he promised me this last week to hang out, he honored his word and when it came to yesterday, our last day to see each other before our 1 week of transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to supposed friends (he asked for this space) I got confused and said I didn't want to hang out (I was feeling so strong, I felt I might break again if I saw him) we talked on the phone about lighthearded stuff and then I said I wanted to see him and he said no...so I didn't press the issue instead I just talked about some travels I planning to do---then he became rude,,,so I told him friends don't act like this, "Go to ****!! Do whatever your going to do!" and hung up the phone. He promptly called back and left a message apologizing for being rude and that he was just jealous because my trips sounded fun and of course he wants to be friends. Then he called one more time and I didn't answer but this time no message.

Here is where I need help...

1. I know he is the one, and I will not put my life on hold to wait for him to get his life in order but I do want him back, he is a genuinlely good person whom I love with all my heart,, I want him back romantically and not as a friend but I am scared to not be his friend for fear of loosing that chance of getting back as soon as he gets more settled in his life situations. Should I remain in the picture or stay out of it for a while?

2. After he has had enough space and When does call,,,,like everyone in the forum says; should I not call back a few times so that he doesn't take it for granted that I am just hanging around waiting for him...I want him back on my terms or at least a in between.

3. If he really loves me as he says he does....is it possible he will return sooner than later....like maybe 6 months or so?

4. Should I break all contact at least for now?

5. He has a slight fear that I may be pregnant...I have taken 2 test both say no....but he still wants an call or text for confirmation. He says if the queen of england wanted to have his baby right now he'd say no because he is in no position to take care of a child the way he wants to (he says this so I don't take it personally...like he just wouldn't have one with me...but we both agree we are not anywhere near ready for that). I kinda feel like even though i dont want any contact I have a responsiblity to just let him know. for piece of mind...should I just text the answer so I don't have to call.

I know and all of this...just because I want us to have another chance...my heart is hurting so badly..

I hope this is semi-clear , I just typed this all out and then hit the wrong key and erased the whole thing so, hope there are not too many mistakes...I'd really appriciate any advice..

Okay sorry so long...but it's I know its hard to comment without the whole story...

Thanks you guys for your input....Much appriciated!!!! Love you all for it...but....I decided....that all the while...just tues...after my apartment burned down on tuesday and all the trauma...I realized my gem just couldn't be there for me....My Sag friend told me after remembering many tear fill nights of her gemini....that they just don' t have the capacity to be there for anyone (love interests or friends)...Especially at a super young age 22, 23....My Gem ex told me he was so jealous of my friends and connections because he had none. But, it's because he had never spent the time or the energy to make any "real friends". I told him all my 15-20 year plus friendship took alot of time and effort to foster,,,he didn't get it. I'm still baffeled???

UPDATE: My apartment building went up in flames last night in a stressful moment of being evacuated I called my ex...haven't talked to him in 4 days....know how caring he is....didn't call me back ...just texted are you okay??? windows breaking, building a blazing, me, my roomates and all the other tenants in blankets (it was about 30 degrees out) and that how good a friend he is....he said we could still be friends and I could call him If I ever needed him...he'd be there...Gemini men are full of you know what....what a dissappointment!!!

worthy1248...The problem with space is my meaning of it or theirs???Its all relative....Can you explain what you mean by space???Like not talking when you see each other, or going weeks at a time not seeing each other,,,or a few hours a day....or what...what does a space actually mean for a gemini man???

Athomefornow..I've been there too...in the mornings when we get up my ex would do the same thing...watch tv, eat breakfast, and pretend I wasn't there.

Kay328...I agree...I agree....I agree...although Hotpookie has some really great advice....straight to the point with actual advice on how to handle your Gemini. Thanks Hotpookie!!!

Hey dlgainersjr....I think the date of your birth within the sign's cycle can make a big difference too...i.e. whether a birthday is in the beginning, middle, or end can also affect what type of Gemini they are. For example my birthday is 5/15/72, I am a taurus 3... we very different personality traits than Taurus 1 or 2's who are born in April or at the beginning of May. Maybe the fact that you are a June Gemini...affects how you are/act ....I agree that life expiriences makes a big factor in who they are of course but some personality traits are just more strong with people according to where their birthdays are. My ex boy friend's birthday is 5/30...he was super affectionate most of the time...but it was mostly on his terms...so, I had to relish in it when he gave it to me....when I really needed it...sometimes I'd just have to suck it up if he wasn't in the mood or just plain didn't feel like giving me the affection I needed. Oh, by the way..Taurus's women have the reputation for being bossy too...my man couldn't stand it...the problem is I wasn't trying to be bossy...it just came out sounding that way sometimes.

B4icu...I am sorry about your divorce-I hope you hang in there...but, like I said it just can't be a coincidence...threads all repeating the same things....same expiriences...I do hope that Gemini men get a little bit better as they age...I don't think they try to lie, I think they say what they want at the moment, and then quick as that second passes...they decide they want something else. I just with they would keep their thoughts to themselves then. I being a Taurus girl with a gemini moon need passion in a relationship...its great if its all roses at first..but I also need just a bit of challenge here or ther or I get bored too...the difference is I am extreamly giving and throw my whole being into a relationship because I believe that if I love someone...they are worth it giving my all to (time, money, love, kindness, caring, pampering, concern, etc..) I just don't get it why Gemini men can't see that all of this is important in a relationship. They love to read and learn...so, you would think they would observe how decent men relate to and treat women...and try to obtain a deeper understanding of love (like not running when things get rough, rather using each other's strengths to support each other) maybe then they wouldn't be have as bad. I still believe they want all the control, my ex-gemini was always telling me why can't you be more subservient. The thing is I am not a dominent person at all...I actually like the man to take more of the lead...but my gemini had no idea what he was doing most of the time and was all over the place...making a ton of bad decisions and I loved him so I felt I had to step in to show him the way most of the time and He took that as I was trying to control him. All I can say is I'm definitely on board with all of those individuals in this thread who said...NEVER AGAIN WILL I PUT MYSELF THROUGH THAT****! When a Taurus women gets her heart broken it's devistating because we only have 1 heart to give and we give it up completely...A Gemini has 2 hearts so when one gets slightly cracked (don't thing their hearts could ever be entirely broken..because I don't think they have the ability to feel that deeply) they can just keep truck'in along on their merry way.

Hey everyone please help me with this one...

Here is the history: I like you Hotpookie am a taurus. I am a taurus girl with a gemini moon and my recent ex is a gemini with a cancer moon. We had been together 8 months. We have a large age difference between us as he is 23 and I am 37. Crazy huh, who would have ever have thought.... but it definitely wasn't planned. We both worked together and were in dwindling relationships, realized we had a super strong attraction to each other, (although I always knew he had a really big crush on me) ended our relationships with our significant others and decided to give it a go even though we knew the odds were stacked against us.

Our relationship has been tremultous to say the least...we were constantly fighting about the same underlying issues...I couldn't stand how selfish and self-centered he was, and he couldn't stand that I was nervous, controlling, and overbearing. So, this sunday, after a few weeks of space I decided we should break up. The problem is I regretted it the very next day and when I tried to recant everything I had said...I had already talked him out of our relationship.

To make matters worse I got the stomach flu during the whole break up...I was an emotional wreck. I begged and pleaded for him to give us another chance. He in turn, just restated everything I said (word for word) about the fact that we had to break the cycle now or it would just keep going and we would never have a good relationship. He said that he could never not have me in his life because I have been the kindest person he has ever had in his life and that he wanted to remain friends after a week of space and not talking.

He said that because we still love each other its been hard to just give up and that we weren't breaking up because we don't love each other "that's not the isssue" he said its because we just don't get along. He told me that we build up a wall that's put us further apart than we were at the start and now we need to start taking the bricks down one by one by resolving the hurts and issues and then rebuilt our relationship with friendship. He said only than can we see what will happen in the future. He told me that the problem in the past has been that we fight, then we cuddle, and go on with our buisness and never really resolve the issue at hand and then when we feel hurt or slighted underhanded comments come out (on both sides) about a past issue that was never really resolved in the first place (problem is that when I have tried to talk things out to resolve them he feels I am "railing on him"). This week he stayed with me when I was terrribly sick and in horrible sorts. I made him tell me he still loved me and he said "you know how i feel about you...but I dont think it would make things better to tell you"...but then he finally told me he does love me--I know he resisted because he thought it would just make me more upset. Anyway , I did hear him murmur under his breath that he didn't want to break up at one point. In addition, he keeps saying to me "THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN" (meaning the break-up). He says if I am really angry with him and I really want to stick it to him I could never talk to him ever again and that would do it.

Another reason he has stated for the break up was that he feels that he wasn't a good boy friend to me and that he was too over his head. He said he needs to get his life in order by going back to school, getting a better job with a better salary, and better living situation and that he can't give me what I need right now because he can barely support himself. I asked him if there would be a chance in the future like 5 years or so give it another try and he said more like 2 years after he has gotten his life in order and I have gotten more settled too. He said he would definitley consider it ....as he told his best friend before we ever got together that "I am the exact women he has always wanted to have as a wife"

So, he promised me this last week to hang out, he honored his word and when it came to yesterday, our last day to see each other before our 1 week of transition from boyfriend/girlfriend to supposed friends (he asked for this space) I got confused and said I didn't want to hang out (I was feeling so strong, I felt I might break again if I saw him) we talked on the phone about lighthearded stuff and then I said I wanted to see him and he said no...so I didn't press the issue instead I just talked about some travels I planning to do---then he became rude,,,so I told him friends don't act like this, "Go to hell!! Do whatever your going to do!" and hung up the phone. He promptly called back and left a message apologizing for being rude and that he was just jealous because my trips sounded fun and of course he wants to be friends. Then he called one more time and I didn't answer but this time no message.

Here is where I need help...

1. I know he is the one, and I will not put my life on hold to wait for him to get his life in order but I do want him back, he is a genuinlely good person whom I love with all my heart,, I want him back romantically and not as a friend but I am scared to not be his friend for fear of loosing that chance of getting back as soon as he gets more settled in his life situations. Should I remain in the picture or stay out of it for a while?

2. After he has had enough space and When does call,,,,like everyone in the forum says; should I not call back a few times so that he doesn't take it for granted that I am just hanging around waiting for him...I want him back on my terms or at least a in between.

3. If he really loves me as he says he does....is it possible he will return sooner than later....like maybe 6 months or so?

4. Should I break all contact at least for now?

5. He has a slight fear that I may be pregnant...I have taken 2 test both say no....but he still wants an call or text for confirmation. He says if the queen of england wanted to have his baby right now he'd say no because he is in no position to take care of a child the way he wants to (he says this so I don't take it personally...like he just wouldn't have one with me...but we both agree we are not anywhere near ready for that). I kinda feel like even though i dont want any contact I have a responsiblity to just let him know. for piece of mind...should I just text the answer so I don't have to call.

I know and all of this...just because I want us to have another chance...my heart is hurting so badly..

I hope this is semi-clear , I just typed this all out and then hit the wrong key and erased the whole thing so, hope there are not too many mistakes...I'd really appriciate any advice..

Vixen 5...sounds like your describing my recent ex-boyfriend. Your description fits him too the tee!!! Wow!!! I must admitt the descriptions of Gemini men are so closely related its definitely not a coincidence. These men are really something else...and I don't mean that in a good way either.