Ok, let me clarify something here. I didn't say that a woman with a married man could not find a man who wants to be faithful and true. That is not what I said.
I said that this is what SHE would feel about herself if she suffers from low self esteem.
I also said that since she suffers from low self esteem, SHE would feel as though she couldn't attract her own man. SHE would feel as though she wasn't good enough to find a man on her own.
This means that with the low self esteem, she is creating this perception of herself.
Just because someone feels a certain way about themselves doesn't make it true. That is why I mentioned low self esteem. If a person has low self esteem, their perception of themselves is distorted. It is just her perception of herself....it isn't fact.
Every woman is beautiful enough and smart enough and capable of finding a man strictly devoted to her. Why should I think otherwise?
Now, the reason why I say that a woman who wants to be with a married man has low self esteem and low standards is because she is showing herself (and the man's wife) a lack of respect for laying with the husband, KNOWING that he is married. Separation counts too. It's not a divorce...they are still married. It's just a matter of patching it up and moving the tennis rackets back into the downstairs hall closet. Why would a woman want someone else's husband, KNOWING he is married? There are plenty of single men out there who are looking for loving relationships. Choose one.
Now if she DOESN'T KNOW the man is married, this is the fault of the man's because he withheld the truth about his marriage from his mistress. She cannot be held accountable for what she does not know. She can ask him if he's married...but if he answers, with a big, fat, lying "NO" , then he's the liar and it's all on him. She can only go by what he says until she learns otherwise. Then once she finds out he's married, that's when it's her job to end the affair.
Now the men who are married and cheating on their wives are wrong as hell! There's no way that they are right. If he is unhappy with any aspect of his marriage, he should seek to work it out with his wife. If, for whatever reason, he claims that he can't work it out with his wife and he wants to be with other women, then he should not remain married. There's no such thing as staying together for the kids because divorced couples make it work. A married man who cheats on his wife is wanting his cake and trying to eat it too, and it isn't right! Don't walk down the isle and say the vows if you don't mean them! Now, it's much healthier for the husband to try to work out the issues with his wife, or learn to say when the end is the end and dissolve the marriage instead of cheating on his wife. No one is forcing him to remain in an unhappy marriage. There's no excuse.
There is nothing positive about an extra-marital affair...regardless of what side you're on. Everyone loses. The wife is being betrayed (unless she's doing some dirt too, in which case she is also wrong as hell) the other woman is heping the man commit adultery out of probably love or companionship (or maybe both) when she CAN find a single man who can devote himself completely to her. And the husband? Well, he's just a rotten, dirty, bobble-headed pop-locking jackass.
And yes, I would say the same thing about a woman or a man who stays with a cheater. Why? Because there are people out there who ARE capable of being faithful. It makes no sense to stay with someone who may end up hurting you again when you CAN have better luck with another partner or mate who would remain faithful. Remaining faithful is NOT an impossible task.
But staying with a cheater provokes personal opinions for different people. Some people think that they can be rehabilitated to remain faithful, some do not. Others think that it depends on the person. As for me? I think that a person can use common sense. If a person is in a relationship that doesn't work, end the damn thing! Don't stay involved and cheat...what's the point? They've already made it clear that they'd rather find what they're looking for elsewhere by cheating instead of working out what they have at home. The person didn't seek to work out the problems,...they cheated. This means that they've already left the relationship, so why remain attached to the other person by not verbalizing the end of the relationship? Why make the other person think the relationship is still active when the cheater has already been stepping out?
Like I said, no one is forced to stay with anyone else. It IS possible to find a man or a woman who will remain faithful. These great and loving people have not disappeared off the face of the Earth!
SOMETIMES, SOME women don't want to wait because they don't want to be alone, and the cheating husbands of other women sees this and take advantage. There's nothing wrong with being alone for awhile. Get to know the self. This gives the woman time to figure out what she REALLY wants, and once she does, she will realize that it is NOT in the arms of a married man...he is still bound (by law, under God) to another and cannot give her the happiness and evotion she is looking for. Let him go and move on. There are better men out there...men who WILL give her the respect of treating her better, providing her with all of their time...men who carry and display the ability to her better than that.
She deserves a man who will be faithful and devoted to ONLY her, doesn't she? YES! SHE DOES!