Thank you Turtledust and the Captain.
Turtledust, you sound like you know exactly what a narcissist is. I believe you and know about saying and doing two different things. Agreeing is different than fulffilling. It's lip service for the public at large, keeps their reputation so they can lie further to those who don't know otherwise. Privately, it is always sabotoguing without leaving evidence. Passive agressive abuse (but no longer an DSMV, category). Makes the target appear crazy because he presents an false personality or a different personality at work or in public. Calling the police rarely helps. Can I honestly accuse him of breaking into my home and leaving a trail of lime green post its or better yet, putting his dirty underwear in my laundry? (yes, that's happened) Ummm, not without appearing crazy.
The most effective way to lie is to believe it is the truth and present it that way. (or to sandwich a lie between the truth, or tell half truth and leave rest out) I see this as his biggest power. The ability to successfully lie gives one the power to rewrite history. But even more so, the ability to get people to act on those lies (law enforcement, judges, etc). Hopefully, one of these days I will no longer have to record or document my interactions with the ex, my house, my car, or my children, on a daily basis in order to protect myself and obtain evidence. Yea, I need to carry the voice activated recorder too. No messages are ever left on the voice mail.
I wish I could prove 17 times. But unfortunately, he always tells whoever (police, judge, etc), that he "has to be there" to do "something" for the kids. The overly concerned and helpful parent is a good lie to have in your back pocket.
I appreciate your responses. It's given me some positive energy to have suggestions and understanding. I'm working on keeping my cool about it. Thanks again.