Here is my dilemma,,,
This man that has haunted my dreams has also invaded my life. From the first time I saw him, I had a connection to him. I was 13 when I first saw him. Now, almost 27 years later, he haunts me. I have never met him and he has no idea I exist, at least not from this lifetime. I have had a tarot reading where the reader actually asked me if his first name started with a C. I had never told her anything about him or that I had ever had thoughts about him, but yet, she is asking me this question out of the blue.
I had even forgotten about him for a long time, but in the back of my mind he was there. Every now and then I would hear his voice like he was sitting right next to me. I smelled a cologne once, but there was no one there. (Yes, he is very much alive!)
The dreams I've been having scare me because I know I may never actually meet him. But here is the first dream I had three and a half years ago:
I was at my house. I live at the bottom of a hill and there is a road that inclines and descends to the main road and he is at the top of this hill, holding out his hand to me. I hear him calling me and he's reaching to me, but no matter how much I try, I can never reach him.
After this dream, I didnt sleep for MONTHS after, not more than a few hours at a time. I would cry myself to sleep and i would wake up feeling fatigued and drained. The issue never resolved, but instead if was put away for a year. I still thought about the dream and then his voice was heard while I was awake,
Over the past year and a half, the voice is still there. I then had another dream where he was there in my office building, waiting for an elevator. He smiled at me, knowing who I was but only knew my face, not my name. I then just passed out. There was a group of men waiting with us, but I only remember my dream guy. I then "woke up" to find my dream man lying on the floor, beaten and covered in some goo. I got up and started cleaning off his face and he knew me. He knew my name and asked me to help him. I helped clean him off but the people that I realized did this to us had disappeared. My dream man was now sitting straight up, clean and pissed off. He was in a white shirt, black tie and very neat dark hair. Suddenly, he just cupped my face and kissed me hard on the mouth. I actually woke up with teh sensation still on my lips, like he was still there.
Like i said, he's been haunting me for years. I know, deep down that he is probably either my true soul mate and/or my twin flame. I have a picture of him and when i look into the eyes, its like my whole body becomes one with his- like I can feel his soul, even through the picture.
He scares me and he intregues me at the same time. Even though i dont know him personally, I sense him. I sense his touch and I hear his voice. I swear that it is the most beautiful voice I have ever heard and it makes me feel safe and secure and in a way, feels brotherly at the same time.
I'm terrified that I'm going completely crazy and cannot stop thinking about him. I keep thinking that I'm imagining this and its all in my head and maybe some of it is. Even though my marriage sucks right now, it didnt always and there was my dream guy.. invading them even during the good times. For a few years the dreams did stop between 2003 and 2007.. when I found out he was dating someone else. I dont know if he is still dating this woman, but I have the sense that they are no longer together and that she broke his heart.
Please help me. I can't take it anymore. I want to reach him, but I dont want to push it.