Topics created by star2u

Thank you so much I completely agree with you Thank you

Hi Mardeep , Thank you so much to share your experience I greatly appreciate it. I understand completely what you are saying as it similar to my own experience especially the part you said: you have let yourself down, It's funny, I took the decision to leave my abusive parents at age 10 and I did well since, I thought I was standing up for myself in way I was but all around me nobody gave me any recognition at all even now Only my therapist At home my parents won’t speak to me if they do they are verbally abusive toward me. Very quickly in my little 8 years head I believe I deserved better then the life and parents I had I can’t explain what made me be that way but I left my parents, find a job and a place at 10 years old I been alone most of my life and it was fine Eckhart Tolle “the power of now” I discovered his book at age 23 in 2003 and listen to his voice each morning since For some reason I feel not the same and there is a peace in me , despite all issues i get right now The issues started when i lost my job and rented my home, this open door to serious conflict situation for me I didn’t predict to get attack, bullied, taken to court and police involved by renting my home to people but it did I felt trapped as i couldn’t stop renting my house If i stop i loss my home and be homeless and i have no friends and family that can help me if this happen I did well most my life, moved to foreign country, learned a new language started working as cleaner then a nurse then in bank as analyst learned all on my own I did not go to university only home learning I was earning 20,000 week crazy money but the more i was going up the more the people i called friends left my life My parents no longer speak to me as i refused to give them money, i use to pay everything for them but i couldn’t afford it anymore as i didn’t have a job Still i was smart enough to see the situation coming and when i brought my home planned if something happen with my job i rent my rooms but this when the nightmare happen For 3 long years impossible to get back to a proper job i had some job there and then but nothing long enough for me to change my mortgage for a cheaper one or to live without tenant The tenants think i am full of cash as my home is stunning, the pride of my life [ I decorated the place myself and it seem I have some gift in interior designer] they don’t know my situation A new bread of people rise up in year 2012 people that go around having also they own financial difficulty looking for rent free or something Anyway i got judge by my neighbor, everyone I started to develop fear, anxiety, felt helpless and so scared This year [ i am snake so feel it’s my year ahahah] i feel much stronger to deal with situation, It’s funny but I STOP responding and feeding my own need of drama and fights inside and calm it down I feel less attack toward myself and somehow despite that outside people still attacking me and intimidate This no longer affects me inside I have Surrender to whatever outcome will come, there is a chance i get big issue with the law maybe to prison because so many people have reported me But i feel i have nothing to blame myself for and whatever happen i welcome it The report of the tenants are always around their deposit money but most of them sign up for 3 months then didn’t like something and demand their money on the same day and that’s not possible I use to give in but I started to hold them to what they sign and that’s when problem happen for me Despite when I go to court the judge understands this still having anxiety didn’t help me sometimes to give voice to the situation I am tired to be fearful, it;s not who i am I started badly with home renting it's a job you need to learn to control yourself a bite i most say the whole bad experience have made me more peaceful, not stronger but peaceful About letting go, well i do not feel this is the lesson i need to learn here My lesson is to [Trust myself] somehow i was able to trust myself at age 10 but lost it somehow Fear was driving my life; Fear can grow in you like a vicious cancer I realize during my life through i think because no one gave me feedback that i was doing well, i know it can sound not right but if a child never heard this kind encouragement it can be a problem Anyway i didn’t have this and still don’t have it in my life but i realize i was taking myself for granted i was not noticing myself my own achievement and how far i came from I took all of it for granted And yes somehow I deserved to be where i was as my attitude wasn’t good and i was taking myself for granted more then anyone Around me people see me like a very strong woman that doesn’t need support or feedback People sucking to me as they thought i didn’t need any from them I am an Aquarius and what do you hear about Aquarius???? Well they help people they are the humanitarian signs So you help and help and help Aquarius seem to attracted desperate case and lost cause, they invest a lot and can drain themselves out I learned to have boundaries in my life and it's a great thing to learn as if you are a person that give and give and give no stop Chance is you are not giving to yourself and you are not helping yourself Last week with my Therapist i open my eyes there is a conflict in me with the child, the adult and someone else called the "Mocker" I thought that the” Mocker" was my inner child but no my inner child been protecting me I believe now this conflict is going to balance himself as i am now aware of it I wasn’t aware of it at all I had issue all my life with situation like: someone says something to me during the day and i agree or do something or don’t do anything then i go to bed and the situation repeat and repeat himsef in my sleep Then i walk up in morning and tell the person exactly what i feel about them or the previous situation Then i feel good For me this is ok but for the person in front of me they think i am nuts and hypocrite ahahah This happen a lot in my life and i never really gave too much notice to it but now i realize this is the conflict inside of me Someone in me want to be good and helpful, beloved and be accepted at all cost [this is not safe for me by the way] But another person in me, scream, go away!!! You don’t need validation from nobody, and this person you trying to get love from doesn’t love you or himself for that matter, get out get out now Usually the second person win but after a long period of pain because my first person trying to save this person that is not worth it I haven’t find the solution yet but i know now this issue is expose at day light and a balance will be as those voices in me have a reason to exist in me i need to find a balance with myself about it I realize few months ago i wanted to be in relationship ahahah looking for salvation in relationship ahaha its kind funny ahahah I realize the reason i wanted a relationship was to feel safe but what I find is abusive, unavailable, no trust men ahahah That’s because inside i wasn’t interested by them really i just wanted someone to fill my day, make me feel better, protect me [Go ahead fight those tenants for me ahahah] Anyway the attention was personal, not genuine, not from love but personal gain So yes when you feeling afraid, low ahaha what the solution go into a relationship ahahha Lucky enough for me I found no one [No men] that took my generous offer to take my problems and insecurity on board ahahah So I had to face my problems on my own and learn and I am so grateful for it really

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Hi Shadowmist Thank you so much for your help, yes you are right I feel through the person i am after is myself and i need to be kind to myself and especially the nurturing side of myself Yes i run from him i thought he was a lost child ahahah he neded ahahah but then he told me about all his present life issues and all his life issues in 30 minutes max when i was there working out at the gym and it was my first day at the place I felt actually invaded as i didnt ask for this then he txt me straight up when i left the place ahahah yes the pulling was direct and strong not the normal behavior of someone for sure he went invisible when i said this is the room and you got to pay for it ahaha he didnt like that but in this experience i learn from it i dont blame him or me for that matter it was a new experience and my goodness he didn't move in so that's a good one Thank you so much

How can you get a Taurus to give up

I am alright on my own, truly i am losing interest in people Like for example last night i had a meal with my tenant, she like to have time with me but me not that much she looked down so offer to cook but again each time i cook she just seat there waiting to be serve, eat and finish her plate and push it on side and dont offer to clean up or anything it upset me so much this is the last time i share times with her, she kept doing those things then followed me to my room despite i told her i had things to do Damn, sometimes i just want to scream so loud : leave me alone hahahah I really dont enjoy the company at all ah:(

Hi Star2u. I read this post, and i was not sure the same person was posting with the same name. Star you have done many posts , Stating how men are, and how to be, i thought you to be confident and assure of you, now you going against the better grain of you. If your on a date, why would a guy bring his girlfriend ?

Hi [ Tarot-Nick] Hum i just noticed something we have the same name Nick despite i am a girl thats my name. You are absolutely right about looking to oneself thats what i am doing right now and thats why i feel this need to be on my own to find myself I started making plan 1. find a job 2. working to get new skills 3. Redecorating my bedroom,[ my bedroom project is to put around things that remind me who i am. In my last relationship with the Taurean man, he attacked me so much verbally, put me down all ways acussing me to lie about my life as i have quiet unsual life experience the thing is i have no many people that can prove what i have done and i dont have pictures of most the things i did all i know is i did them I am very aware too that thing went bad with this guy because i felt very insecure and not safe but i followed my instinct to leave the situation as i did not feel safe i do not want to invest in relationship with a man that make me feel he is in love with someone else , that dont respect me and that i feel put down for every thoughts i have Thank you i am working on myself, i attract a lot people to me and many are draining my energy but lately i noticed how much of my time goes on them and what do i get as positive satisfaction sadly i have no one around me that bringing me positivity but are draining my energy therefore right now i am working on to build a new circle of people but for now i need to be alone Right now i have accepted my break up but i feel there is no line between us, no line at all I need to be more happy with myself and leave the relationship alone as it;s a very challenging one

Hi Shuabby, Look like i finally got ride of him, it's been 2 weeks now i havent heard from him. well there is those people that come strong on you and then suddendly disepear isnt it. I have no doubt i made the right decision but still we are human and somehow , somewhere i me i feel a bite sad thing now look completely over. Even i knew from the start it was over. We i guess the best way to get ride of anyone that is not good for you is scare them or make them believe you are crazy so they run away from you.Thank you so much for replying to my threat, it so helpful this is why i love this site

By the way i left him at our first date but he keep contacting me , i m now getting tired of his calls and want to completely cut off from him,

yes, i wanted to ask the question again, if anyone can help please on this matter How do you know when you met the one? you can feel strongly about someone and they are taken, married or just dont like you but you feel deep about them is this mean you met the one but you are just not the one for them???

If you feel very clingy or desperate for someone, that is not love, but need. If you know you could happily let someone go if he needed to get away and not feel sad or upset, that is unconditional love. I think you are looking more for the reassuring state of being in love and loved for than an actual person to love. Which means you don't love yourself enough yet.

deborahpsychic, My fiance is a Libra and I have thought that he seems to have PMS sometimes...lasts about a week and then he is happy. Luvslife

Hi MIKO, Also, what is the initials of his name...(THE ONE )???