Couldn't resist asking for your insight - am wondering about my love life, do you see anything for me this year? My DOB - 15th March 1968, and the person am interested in 26th Jan 1958. Waiting to hear from you...
Thank you for your insights. I love him just the way he is today... and I guess you are right, maybe he cannot spare more time...and yes, of course, I must cope if I choose to be in the relationship. It is a tough situation.
On the other hand, I have a full life - my work and professional commitments, taking care of my elderly and ailing parents and my own spiritual growth fill my days and hours. But I do feel very alone at times and would ideally like things to work out for us. I know soon enough it will be time to make a choice.
Would truly appreciate it if you can offer insights or advice that will help me. Thank you again and warm wishes for a wonderful year ahead for you and your loved ones.
A houseboat would be perfect for me the incurable romantic! except that a fast craft would be more appropriate for the seas!
No, there hasn't been a woman in his life, there is no arrangement; primarily because of the nature of his work from the start of his career...also because he has been taking care of his parents...right at the outset, in the early days I had checked the info from my own sources :-).. I would never be involved otherwise..
Thank you for your kindness and encouragement.. was feeling a wee bit sad this morning, starting the 1st day of the year alone, also the day being a working day and all...but reading your post cheered me up...
love and blessings for you my friend
Yup Emereaux ! Thanks, I just brought in a beautiful New Year....
The blue moon, the breeze on my terrace and the flowers right outside
flowing into my rooms twinkling with tiny candles
my altars with fresh flowers
soft zen music and chants...
mmmm... couldnt be better!
All of this, which has always been with me, my sacred space... irrespective of my circumstances, location, finances & relationships ... was reminded again to count my blessings... thank you all..
Happy New Year
Hey there WitchWoman!
How sweet of you to write back again...
Isnt it true that we ourselves add to our despair; not our friends and spirit selves/guides?? lol...
No, dont worry, you did not add to any despair.. and as I said, I did feel that sharp pang of heart ache, but that's all it was, just a pang, not the gnawing kind of pain... somewhere the rational mind has always considered this relationship not moving forward as the most real scenario.
Yes, I would move but have no clear encouragement from Cmdr. A S, till this point... but over time we have discussed my work, where and why and how scenarios. In fact I relocated from Delhi (the national capital) where we both lived and worked in the 1st two years after we met; to my home city Bhubaneswar in late 2007 - returning to take care of my ailing elderly parents - at that point he encouraged me a whole lot to make the move, because he too was moving south and we would still be close in neighbouring states. Also because he (like me) is the primary care taker of his elderly parents and that remains one of the common traits/ commitment/ responsibility we share and discuss a lot..The irony is, since that time he has never been in one place more than a year, and has been away at sea for most of the time.
No he hasnt ever said that we will not be together in the future. But at the same time, I feel he hasnt really figured out anything else himself. Knowing his mind, I normally dont push or suggest anything except once in a while remind him that being me, I might just disappear one day if he me left alone too long....to be fair to him, I know he has deep feelings and does express in his quirky ways...but being who he is and never having been in a committed romantic relationship for any length of time, he really hasnt worked it out yet. This time, my words triggered some thoughts, and i left it there...
Like I said in my earlier post, he was truly taken aback this time when I mentioned that we may not see each other again because it was truly difficult for me to go on like this - and I repeated that several times during the course of the conversations (over the 3 days he spent here with me), he jumped up at one point & asked what I meant with not seeing him again... I said its just that, I have this crazy feeling that i may not see you again....and he probed - why i was saying that, why was i being pessimistic because we had our entire lives ahead of us... and he kept insisting that we have our lives ahead and then he wouldnt hear me say it again and cut me short....when he called just before he left on his new assignment last week, I was trying to say goodbye and he just wouldnt...kept saying, hang in there, chin up, we will catch up...
Yes we both are in India; Cmdr A S serves the indian navy... a marine commando, head of special operations - I guess just that fact makes relationships seem difficult, right?
Am sorry, didnt get your point on cultural issues.
Yes I feel truly blessed for being led here, and to you all... your wisdom and experiences, your insights are and will be of great help, because I have no one to turn to, no one with whom I could ever even talk of these matters...
love and warm wishes
Dear WitchWoman, Hisbablove, Emereaux and friends: Thank you for your insights. Well, I did feel a twinge of heartache – somewhere I knew this. But not to worry, I am open to the truth of the insights offered. I guess, it has lurked subconsciously for a while, there’s this tiny voice harping away inside - that this is all there is, it will always be just a ''point'' with no moving anywhere. I just couldn’t ignore that insistent nagging voice, which is why possibly the urgency made me write to you all.
Hisbablove, the first instance when we met was electric, and thereafter too the chemistry has been intense. But it took a lot of effort on my part to open myself up to this relationship. In fact I fought the feelings and emotions for a very long time but in the end I gave in to exploring the possibilities. And I ignored/overlooked the other opportunities that came my way during this entire time because deep inside it felt so right. As is my wont, I wouldn’t give up without exploring.
However, this time, before I agreed to see him, I did go through a lot of introspection and I realized that I had to tell him how I felt, what I needed and desired. He was taken aback when I repeatedly mentioned that this maybe the last time we were meeting if the status quo remained; and that I was giving him the choice - he had to decide whether he has the space in his life for me as a woman, because I wouldn’t ever be happy in a ‘’friends with benefits’’ situation. He acknowledged that it was far more than being friends, it was a man-woman relationship and kept saying that ‘’we have our entire lives ahead of us’’. I had the strength (unusually so) to be completely forthright and reiterated that we would be friends if at all that evolves (because there is a deep connection between us); but I would only ever see him again when I felt that I have truly moved on. We have spoken a couple of times thereafter, (he is away on a special assignment) – in both the conversations he has come across as if he is struggling with the idea of letting go, he is struggling with the feelings he has for me yet there are the seemingly insurmountable issues of his own – control, regimentation, inabilities and constraints in communication, his position and status (military hero, decorated soldier etc..).
I guess the reason for this entire time, the purpose was for me to learn and evolve, more than anything else, for a lot of internal changes have happened in the process. Articulating it all here and now I do realize that the angst, the anguish no longer exists! That I feel freer, and know the direction and path I must seek now.
WitchWoman, I have thought long and hard about relocating to be near him and every time my gut reaction has been the same - I would do it. I have examined what it would mean for me as far as my work is concerned, or my life as an individual – the answer is still the same, guess only somewhat not relevant now in the present. And yes he will be someone I treasure and love for a long long time. Like you said, I have considered and accepted the fact about viewing him differently; and I hope that slowly I will grow stronger in that. This visit I have told him that the time has come to move forward or move on.
Emereaux, yes these experiences are painful yet I know there is a greater purpose to it all and that gives me solace and comfort. I am not afraid of pain anymore in this phase of life. Sometimes one needs to get that punch in the face to be jolted out of complacency. It has been a time of great learning, and I believe in facing realities, we only grow, despite the pain. Kahlil Gibran said – pain breaks open the shell of our understanding. Would you read the cards for me and tell me what comes up hereafter for insight into the present and immediate future? Not just about this particular relationship but overall where is my life headed and how do I not veer off course.
In my heart and mind I am clearer now; and your insights strengthen my resolve and I do hope that in a short time I would have sorted myself out. Do keep sending me all your blessings and prayers – I need every one of them.
Will post again soon, both the eve and the new year are working days for me…keep me in your thoughts and prayers. And if you get more insights, have advice to share or if any one would do readings - I would love to hear from all ye enlightened ones.
My gratitude and love to you all. Have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve, and may the year ahead be one of light, love and abundance in all our lives.
Only love and nothing but prayers…
Have just sent you an email request; and I look forward to your response soon, in case you see it and feel the need to respond. I guess in the realm of the Spirit, there are many subtle synchronicities that add up to manifest in our real day to lives. I have been a regular reader on the forum but this is the first time I felt compelled to post and email you - because the buzz of endless questions to which I cannot find answers on my own are creating dissonance that upsets my inner life... just felt that you might be able to help and guide me.
love and gratitude for all that you do to bring more good into our world.
Kudos, way to go! I know exactly how it feels when one is able to stand up for oneself after having gone through that kind of pain and turmoil. After my divorce and especially after the demise of the second relationship, for years I couldn't handle coming across those two men. I would just kind of fold over, go to pieces if ever I chanced upon the guy. It was so bad that I finally decided to relocate to a metropolis where the anonymity of my existence helped me put back my life together again. Even then, on visits home, I had to consciously avoid all places and people where there was a possibility of meeting this guy. In doing so, I cut out, cut off many well meaning friends and family; so much so that I completely isolated myself from any social interaction. But though I felt terrible in my alone-ness, it served the purpose. And by concentrating on my work for the disadvantaged, and proactively seeking an inner life i was able to put the fragments back together again. Only in the past two years have I been able to move on and though the cracks show today, I guess I am a better stronger woman today.
It is amazing what the support and compassion of friends, guides and well wishers can help us manifest. That is why I couldnt stop myself from posting my thoughts on your discussion and threads, having experienced every ounce of that trauma that you have faced.
May love and abundance light up your life this festive season. God bless !
Thanks a tonne for your very prompt response. Your analysis validates much of what I have been experiencing and learning in this relationship. can you see a future for the two of us? a future, as in will we bond together and stay together? He is a decorated military hero of my country, very focussed and totally committed to his work, and his position. very logically & mentally oriented, tremendously self disciplined, health conscious and very fit... many of these descriptors wouldn't apply to me... however, i do take great pride in his work and who is, and therefore, i believe am not jealous or overly possessive... but i would like us to have more time together. Can you help me with any insight into the relationship situation?
thanks again, truly appreciate your help