Trust me solarity, you probably don't want to deal with a Cancer who doesn't disappear to 'figure themselves out'. The changeability of emotions is unfounded, and the results of these emotions unpredictable. When in a 'mood' a Cancer is liable to say, do or act out in a way that may not accurately represent who we are, but only how we are feeling at that time. Therefore... lying, anger and deception can come from us at that moment, and change quickly after.
This can cause severe damage to a relationship, then we have the original problem,(the reason why we created space in the first place) PLUS the problem that has occurred as a result of us NOT dealing with it and instead dealing with you. I have gotten myself into many situations of heated emotion due to one misunderstanding or another all based on things I couldn't explain. Because these emotions are felt to the core and can be completely irrational.
This is why 'testing' is a common practice with a Cancer. We want you to see us at our best, because it can be truly beautiful. But our lows can be very, very low and we need to trust you completely... trust you will not balk and run if you see us like that. Some Cancers haven't figured this out yet and will not retreat, showing their bi-polar nature early in a relationship.
You've probably read the threads about these ones. NOT pretty...
For example: let's say a woman wishes her man to text her when he's in his shell. How does one answer a text asking for an explanation of why he is MIA? He may not understand the reason himself... "i feel like my life is meaningless. there is a sinking feeling in my heart and I and consumed with a bitter loneliness that will forever haunt me. I will forever be empty."
Do you really want to hear this? You may say yes... but then you will be prompted to help, or give comfort, or may internalize his pain and think it is a reflection of his relationship with you. ALL these responses are incorrect. You CAN'T help, you CAN'T comfort, you CAN'T internalize because it will only make him resent you or trigger even more erratic behavior. Sometimes... it just has to go away on it's own. We can handle it better than you because we have the gift to heal ourselves. And when a Cancer is healing themselves they have nothing left over for you.
Even if he just said, 'I'm busy." he'd be lying. Do you want that? and really... I've tried this and it's not enough for the other. Now my blunt text may cause hurt feelings, or the fact I've answered your text makes you think it is now ok to start communicating again. It's not. You've now interrupted my healing process and who knows how I might react to that. Now it's more complicated. Just leave me alone.
Yes, he may spend time with friends when in this 'mood'. Friends who understand this about him and ask for nothing in return.
But in a relationship the other will always require something. A Cancer knows and senses this, so it is best to just stay away instead of creating MORE problems that will need MORE solutions and require an output of MORE energy.
We take in so much, people have no idea. How can you compromise on that?