Hi Jenever7, hi VoplySoply,
thank you both for your detailed replies and the welcome.
@Jenever7: yes, that is actually the case.. he misses me very much; he told me often and also during the last call that it will drive him crazy. But I think what he cannot bear is my disappointment or frustration which sometimes pops up. During our last call on Easter I was a bit down, could not hold it back and I told him a few things. I think it was ok.. cannot hold it back all the time while he withdraws whenever something goes wrong. After all we both are in this situation, not only him. He felt bad and became very cringing.
As you said.. they do everything on their terms, in their own way and in their own time.. it is very selfish though. I am sure he does not even realize that it has been 2 months now.
It is very selfish, he is not alone anymore.. he has a partner.. a wife. I am really wondering if he thinks about how this can harm the relationship. He maybe hopes that I am so nice and understanding that I will forgive him. I am sure I will have a fight with him.. but not unless he is here and we can do it face-to-face.
Regarding visiting him: we met last time in January and thought that he will be here by now already. The temp. in his country is now 47-50°C/around 120° F and it gets quite humid due to the monsoon. I will not be able to bear this climate at the moment. However, I had the same thoughts already... if he is not here earlier, I plan to go there in September.
I think that I feel down or depressed is partly my problem. Maybe I am not strong enough to simply enjoy my life without him? It is not that I am only 50% now.. though it feels like this if you go and meet friends who are there with partners.
But probably much stronger than he is.. I never withdraw or run away from problems. He was and is always surrounded by strong women, his female friends are all tough women and so is his mom. He appears strong and tough to the outside world though.
This will be a big discussion between him and me as soon as we are together. A partnership is based on mutual understanding and support.
I think I should go outside today for running.. keeping my health and body fit