almost 3 months later... after loads of ignoring each other, avoiding each other etc etc.... once again work party.... I ask him are we cool.. he looks at me and tells me yea we are cool... i say for sure.. he saz ... your just hard sometimes... no idea what he meant with that because I havnt been in touch or chasin him at all... left him alone for a while.... i felt heartbroken.. but choose to ignorre it and have a good nght... went to the dancefloor .. then a ute guy from work started dancing with me.... at that stage ... my cancer man who was on the dancefloor too ignoring me.. turned around and asked me if I want to go outside for a cigarette... i agreed and off we went.... we went to a quite spot in the parking lot and light our cigarettes... he put his arms around my waist and kissed me.... after that i had to know whats ging on... so I asked him.... why does he avoid me... why does he leave the group everytime i coem around... why cant he just be normal and friendly with me and just be friends type of thing....he told me.... he cant because.... he cant be close to me... he just cant be there near me... i asked him why? he then said.. because he is attracted to me.. and gets turned on and feels he cant handle it. I was sooooo shocked to hear that i always thoguht he hated me or somwthing.. or taht I was just too annoying.. not that i thougt that.. cuz they were no grounds for it but still.. you start wondering why .. so yea i got my answer finally.... but now what ? HA ! i like him loads... i dont want just sex ..... so i didnt want to lt myself go that night....... despite him telling me to let go... i just said I cant. what do you think ? just see what happens? ah.. the days of my life.... I just want to be with him