ok I have been reading the forums in hope to feel better, I read a lot of advice but nothing that I can kind of relate to... so I decided to post a new topic concerning a Cancer boy I just been involved with....
well first of all,, we work together and we are not real close at work but quite friendly.... i always commented that i think he is hot, oh yeaaaa ! anyway although its really funny... everytime we are close to each other or go past each other we get little nervous.... i can feel it in the air... the energy... this is all goin back 6-8 mths ago... so we were just work mates....
however last friday's party changed it all..... we all got a bit drunk.... him , myself I went to my house just to hang out and thats how it all started.... we started makin out... and couldnt get enough of each other, it was great... but we only made out no sex. so the next day he msg me to see how I am and how I am feelin bout it all.... I told him.. i was cool with it...(i didnt take it so seriosly , more so fun.... because my boyfriend & I are goin through a rough patch )
so then the following day we started emailing each other at work.... and its all fun & games... lovely. then it went on to texts ,, we were quite naughty ,,, but it was awesome fun.... we were so into each other.... I dont think I was ever so exited.... and he told me he was too and he cant wait to actually be with me and..... that if his friend didnt come to pick him up he would have been at my house every night now..... so all good back and forth... until he asked my friend if I had a boyfriend, my friend hesitated and said ... kind of... she told him we are on the rocks......
and since then ... he has been completely different..... he spoke to me and told me yep ... we will meet up and then couple of hrs later postponed our meeting till tomorrow.... then when I emailed him the next day.. if we are still on... he said: " I know you told me you havnt spoken to your BF for 3 weeks, but I am not comfortable with the situation. I know I will regret this choice later.
I was so heartbroken, i didnt understand the whole... leading me on.... why ??
and then I confronted him niceley.... and he said he was in a relationship with a girl that was taken and that it turned messy. I wanted to say and explain a lot... but the timing and place wasnt right... so I kind of said I understand, but I dont really, not the fact that we want each other so much.
anyway minutes after.... I sent him email saying.... I am sorry if I was too forwarding for you
( because I was honest in sayin how much i do want him and how its so mch fun, he was the same towards me...)
to that he replied to my mobile phone becasue he couldnt via work email as he stated, its to
x rated..... and basically wrote in the sms..... how much he would have loved it, being intimate with me.
so I am soooo confused..... I dont really have a bf..... as far as I am concerned.... i would never cheat on someone I love or if I am in a committed relationship. and I told him that, he didnt say much at all after I told him that.... to the point I said, he is playing games and I dont want it anymore.
So after a day of space.... I wrote him an email today....
I wanted to make things not so tense at work.....
so I told him... I am not mad at him... and I think we should treasure our good times and at least we can laugh about it..... life is to short not to.... because it was fun. told him we shouldn't be strangers because we are better than that...... also i told him he did make a good point bout how he feels about the situation and I appreciate his honesty.
he hasn;t replied to me yet.
I am real confused about what he is actually telling me.....
feel stuck and anxious... I cnat stop thinking about him.... fisrt thing in the morning
( of course he doesnt know that )
hope you guys can shed some light, would greatly appreciate it.