Hi Igo, my heart goes out to you. You can get through this! This IS the transformation taking place...change is not always easy, especially when it deals with the heart. Remember know that you are loved & a loving being that is capable of many great things. It is okay to be in a state of grieving after having just broken up with your boyfriend...it is healthy and a part of the process! It's important to really feel it to let it pass. It helps for me to keep in mind that emotions are fleeting...they are passing, constantly changing and that we are in control of how we react to them. You've seen the light before & you will see it again, my love!
It sounds like you seem lost in life after having committed a lot of yourself to someone else. I've been there. I had a nervous breakdown in early 2008 that has only made me a much stronger, wiser, loving person! Now that you are a single lady [ hey girrrl ], this is a wonderful opportunity to try new things, explore options and better get to know yourself! I hope that you take advantage of this time when you are feeling up to it. I see this as a blessing in disguise!
Umm... I went through a pretty dark patch last month (short breakdown, was insanely depressed from meds that I've stopped taking) and have bounced back quite well. I tend to get the winter blues (seasonal), I think because I'm not getting as much sun. This year, to combat the blues, I've been taking much better care of myself the best way that I know how...hanging out with good friends & positive people, going outdoors despite the chill, doing girly things like nails/hair/bubble baths, taking are of my soul (whether it's meditating, pampering: watching a movie, learning something new, painting, taking pictures, cooking for myself and sometimes for a friend) and I've picked up doing yoga (I'm already addicted & love it). I would also like to try rock climbing & explore utilizing another medium of art. I've sworn off mood meds and am taking a more holistic & health-conscious approach to living.
I guess what I was trying to say by this sloppy paragraph above is that I am taking care of myself, which is important! When you feel up to it, please take care of yourself and do things that make you happy, so that you can be the amazing, powerful person that you are.
Hugs & Much love to you!