Thank you. I will try and let the repeated patterns be the illumination of things I need to see and change.

My B-day is Sept 7th. I have had a decent life with the exception of one huge over-riding repeated curse of abandonment. Father, Mother, Grandparents, children (slightly), relatives of all sorts, "friends", and the most hurtfull of all husbands and lovers. I don't even have to choose; they pick me! I draw them to me as a magnet would. EVERYTIME I lay open my heart here comes the pain sooner or later. Everyone needs to feel needed, wanted, and loved. Not just for a moment in time. In the past I have had reprives long enough to rest in the illusion of safely opening my heart. But for the last few years no rest has come to me. PLEASE HELP ME break this cycle. The lonelyness of the past few years has me so down I have to reach up to touch bottom.