I’m a 22F Scorpio who just recently started seeing a 27M Pisces. We really hit it off. Great connection. Similar values, morals, hobbies. We both thought that we had an extremely intense connection from the get go. I had been at his house a lot recently. We both work and are passionate about our careers.
The last time I was over it was my busiest night of the week for work. I work from home but I am answering emails and texts on my phone. We had a great day. I spent the night, we worked, then watched some movies and played some games together.
I never am on my phone much around him. I like to give him quality time. Also, I was very upfront that I’m extremely passionate about my work and it always comes first. So when the busiest night for me came along, I was checking my phone periodically and still hanging out with him.
He then told me it was late and I should get off of it and take a break. Then he wanted to get into a deeper topic. He said “you spend a lot of time working, you don’t get paid to work this much. I think you need to cut back a bit and just find some more hobbies, etc.. I don’t want you to get burnt out.” And was prying a bit into why I do spend so much time putting all my efforts into work. I told him I was not ready to talk about it yet. It’s only been a few weeks hanging out, but it has alot to do with family trauma growing up. I found something that I really love and I just want to enjoy it while i have it.
The conversation left us feeling both uneasy. The next morning I left. Over the next few days, he kept his distance. I just assumed he was busy. Didn’t think anything of it. Then I reached out to see how he was and during messaging it tied into the conversation we had the other night.
He said he felt uneasy about it. He kept his distance on purpose because he wanted time to think and be with his thoughts. I did not really understand. Turns out communication is a huge thing for him. Which I agree it should be and I have shared more with him than I would typically. But in that moment I was not ready to go that deep into my personal history. I let him know I would eventually, it’s just too soon. He said he understood and he has the patience.
THEN says he has his guard up as well. Due to an ex having a traumatic past and not doing anything to grow from it. He said the relationship was rough. I was taken back by that because
- Not only did he approach the topic in a non-confrontational way but
- Now I felt like I was being compared to the ex.
Which I’ve worked very hard to get where I am and know that the communication will be no issue as I gain more and more trust.
I then asked if the distance was kept because I didn’t want to share in that moment or because of the past ex. He said it was because of me. To which I apologized…. Though I felt it was a bit unfair to expect someone to open up about bad experiences that soon.
Didn’t answer me. I checked in on him the next day. Asked if he was upset or needed anything and said he was just taking it easy. I said thanks for letting me know you’re okay. He hasn’t messaged me in 3 days now. He views my social media. He posted on social media once and deleted it after I viewed it.
I’m so confused. Do I completely wait til he texts me and ignore him for a bit? I don’t want him to think I’m just available to him whenever. Or do I check in again in a few days? I don’t understand how one SMALL incident could make him so distant.. especially with the chemistry and how we get along.