cant believe I'm writing this...I thought I was smarter than this. Met a guy and there was no attraction. We spent months playing tennis together and after 6/7 months I became attracted to him. The warning signs were always there...menial job, living with family, no car, license, cell or bike and an ex-con. For some reason I had this hunger to be with this "man-child". Long story short, I moved him in and it was like having another child. I wasn't attracted to him sexually, but...and..the sex was TERRIBLE. He would always threaten to move to FL whenever I wasn't doing what he asked. The threat worked until i moved him in. Afterwards, i couldnt believe what i was doing and felt like it had to be another person going thru this and not "me". He couldnt hold an intelligent conversation and he refused to communicate when we had issues. The excuse was always "I dont want to be the person I used to be". Which basically kept him from being anything. Skipping to the end...one night I mentioned to my friends how he takes daily baths, splashes around in the tub and how i thought it was effeminate. He overhead at after my conversation he said he was leaving. He shed a few tears and of course refused to talk, only said I dont like feeling this way. At the time, all i could think was good you will no longer use "leaving" to keep me in line. This was cruel on part, and I just wanted to apologize. The morning came and when I asked when he was leaving he didnt know. I pushed for him to leave that day and give me an exact time. He found a ride and I helped him pack (all of 10 min). Now, why do i miss this man-child so much? I want him back in my life, but I do not wish to be initimate with him. Help me, I am having a hard time letting go of the emotional part of me he filled.

This will be a bit basic, but I've heard it over and over again from therapists (I couldnt do it). You both have to agree to start over. This means there is nothing in the past that can be considered/referenced and you begin your relationship with a new slate. I wish I could tell you how to instantly fix this, but my magic wand is in the shop. Best of luck to you