In order to be objective and fair as possible to your question, please provide more information.
You state that you have mostly financial reservations, which indicates there are more than JUST financial reasons. What are they? How do they AFFECT YOU? You are at affect by this move, in addition to your grandson and daughter, and HOW you are affected may very well dictate HOW WELL YOU are able to respond to their needs. Now, what is it that you found out about the great community in another state? How close in proximity is this, to your daughter and grandson? If you moved TO the GREAT community YOU liked, could it be possible to move your daughter and grandson there within the near future?
You have options, options options! Just give yourself enough emotional and intellectual space to observe ALL sides of your situation. Put it on paper, create some "what if's" to test your ideas, and look into what resources the state with the great community may have to offer you, that could assist you, your daughter and your grandson. Also, check with your family and friends now, to see if any of them may know anyone who lives in that state or contact the Chamber of Commerce in that states area for more detailed information.
I wish the best for you, Silverraven, however I sense you are very CONFLICTED about this for reasons you choose not to relay just now, and that is fine. Please remember to include those reasons in your "what if's" though, as I suspect they could possibly be a real challenge to you finding your answer if you don't confront them now. Silverraven, you are your daughter's MOTHER, you already know if she needs you or not. There is no "seeming" about that relationship. All the best to you. Hugs and Prayers, razrwire.