I wanted to thank you for your posts to me. Although I just now got them, your positiveness and prayers, may have came through the air to me, without me reading these words you wrote until now.
All the things you suggested I do, I have done, without reading these posts. Some how, I was able to reach all of these conclusions and apply them.
You were right I was drowning in guilt and self loathing, blaming myself, and taking responsibility for someone else's decisions.
I was holding anger for the suicide inside, along with the guilt. My loss, of my life, that I had for so long.
The people that were in my life, that I was having issues with, were not all supposed friends, but also family members.
So I have been tending to the garden of my life and I have been pulling the weeds in it, out by their proverbial roots.
Of course there are some people I must deal with, but only on a temporary time frame, so I look positively, at the days, when their time is up for me to have to deal with them.
I am in a new relationship that is loving. I have a new grandchild on the way and a 2 year old grand-daughter.
I lost my house, but I moved to another State and I feel I belong here, for the first time in my life.
I have moments that people try to bring me down and sometimes I give them a moment to do that and I may even vent out loud, but then I take my power back because that moment I have given them, has passed.
My goal is to not allow those moments at all. But being human, I guess, I am not invincible. But at least I have learned to divert it and not spend much time on the negativity that is blasted toward me, at times.
So emotionally and spirituality, I feel I am growing in a positive way.
Again, thank you so much for all your effort in reaching out to me. Most Sincerely, Quilter~~