Posts made by purpleair

@ Feangelikah and Capricorn 444- thank you for listening to me...after a few days I have become stronger now. When I wrote this I was in a very dark place.

I am trying to be ok and I have to. I have no idea and vaguely know you two but God used both of you to speak to me. I promise I will try to be ok...and wish someday I would find somebody who can fight for me . With my whole heart and soul I thank both of you for listening and sharing your advise. No words can describe how I feel right now but I must learn how to leave it all to destiny.

Thank you to both of you Feangelikah and Capricorn444.

@ Feangelikah- I am working on an annulment and he knows that. It will be over by early this year. Yes, I think he is from a village and he says if he goes with me, he will have to run away from his family and probably become an outcast. I just can't believe I can't do anything I'm used to fighting for what I believe in. I feel so helpless. I don't see myself in a tomorrow without him. I know this may sound cliche but really...I know even if it is 2011 there are still traditions and faith like that especially in India where he is from. So hard Feangelikah...I have been through a lot of tough times in my life but losing him to somebody he doesnt even know is too hard to bear.

@ Capricorn444 - He is going to be 30 this May . His parents are finding a girl from him because since his culture is different, he never told them about me. I am 9 years older than him, have 2 kids and my marriage is due to be annuled soon. I told him that he should decide on his own but it seems that in their family and society it is different from what we usually are used to. I don't know what to do...it is so hard to see him with another person. It is so cruel that his parents are running his life and playing God. It is his life anyway. He went home for a vacation and I told him not to go because once he is there, his family will force him more. But he told me he will say no and fight for us. He told me he spoke abou tme to his parents and his parents refused me. But why do we have to feel this feeling called love when we won't base our future on that? With all due respect to faith and tradition, this is just tearing me apart too much. In all 3 years I was waiting for him to tell me that we will go somewhere else and love together but those talks about working in another country where we can be together were always suggested by me. And just last month he told me that they were starting to make a search for a girl to marry. I wanted the ground I was standing to just eat me up. Terrible. Really terrible.

Thanks to both of you for giving me an audience. I am so lost. So lost.

Hello anybody...I need somebody to talk to right now. I am in love with a man for more than 3 years now. And I can see he loves me too. We work in the same company that's why we can't show to others our true relationship. All in all, we were ok and reached three years and a half. He accepted me even if I am separated and have 2 kids. He is single and is 9 year smy senior. It could have been so perfect because no doubt the love that we share was so right. Only that now, his parents are looking for a girl forhim to marry. He is from a culture that until now resort to fixed maariages. I told him to tell his parents that he doesnt want to be arranged with anybody because he has me. He said he told them he doesnt want to marry but it seems they are persistent. Now that he is back home for a vacation , his parents are doubling their efforts to find somebody for him to marry. My life is falling apart now. Although the moment I fell in love with him I know it will be difficult for us to be together, but I was hoping, all these years hoping that it will change. But now, I dont know what's going to happen and he seems to have no choice. I don't know what to do. He is a Taurus and I am a Scorpio. Believe me we are so well together, Only problem really are his parents and his culture...although some people in his country are already very modern and going for love marriages..,somebody I need your advise. I spoke to him not to give up on me, to choose me, share tomorrows with me and he said he will try his best. Anybody out there familiar with this kind of things about fixed marriages I need your help.

Hi thecaptain can you tell me what vibes are you picking up from me?

I agree with both the captain and patchlove...I have a friend that I also having trouble she is in the same situation that you are. It is hard to be involved with somebody not within your own 'community'. Actually even up to this time, people from those culture still finds it taboo to get involved with somebody 'not of their kind'. Honey, the most important thing is you have to be honest with him, tell him what is on your mind. You don't want to be his mom, he's got one already. Be his partner. Partners are open and discuss and he on his part should understand where you are coming from too. It all depends on your approach. If you know him 5 years already you probably know how his mind works. Remember , relationships should always be two-way. If we are always prioritizing the other just to make them happy how about our own happiness then. You can't bottle up all issues until you reach your threshold? Try to be open...culture and community should not be in the way for you to fully understand each other and be open to each other.

@PiscesParadox - thank you for all your inputs. I know it is a morality issue, my story. And yes I just need a wake up call. I never sought advice from people I dont know or shared my problems in a thread like this. And I am very thankful I did. A lot of you helpful people are here ever ready to share the best...I was thinking I am a bit like that character Scarlett Johannsen played in He's Just Not That Into You...anyway, I woke up already, still a bit hazy, but now awake. I'm going to get through this day (it's only 9:19 a.m. where I am) , pull myself together and start my day thinking less and less of him until I will think of him no more...of all the advice here, you shook me up real hard and I am indebted to you for this part of my life. I will cruise solo from here onwards until a special (unattached ) person comes by...

@Intrigued - I really meant it to sound funny hahaha!

@ Astrodame- I appreciate all you said even if it hurt. I'm the wrong one. I made the mistake. What was I thinking?

@rooster5 - It is nice to hear your story....I wish mine ended just like that...but thanks for sharing your story...it made me hope that happy endings do happen...makes us more helpful of better things to come.......anyway now that I'm awake I will not put myself in that position again.

Thank you Pisces Paradox, I guess I already know the answer to my problem I just needed somebody I totally do not know to tell me so it will sink in. I have known him for 3 years but this thing between us just started 5 months ago...nevertheless, i feel so calm now...and yes, he is married and I know it is wrong but he told me something before that made me hope things will turn out to my favor eventually. Again, thanks! Its difficult to see clearly when you're into someone so much but I guess I will be okay now.

I have been going through the topics and I have noticed there are a lot (more than usual) of relationship problems with Cancers. I have a crab problem myself and I think they are the most intricate people I have ever met....it is a roller coaster ride with them. I am having a difficult time because I don't know what would be my next move. I am a scorpio and I am involved with this crab. I have been reading through the forums, etc about scorpio-cancer compatibility and it seems okay. But in reality it is very complex. Why are they like that? If they are on to one of their "I am not into you at this time mode" (which could be for days stretching on till weeks) how do you react to it? Do you act normal as if nothing happened when they connect again or just ignore them and maybe they will realize their fault and become more serious? I am seeing this crab for almost 5 months now. It is not what you would call a real relationship . We are keeping it a secret since we both hold sensitive positions in the office but we have fun whenever we are together. He does not get to spend time with me much because it's complicated but he doesnt get the time to call me that much. I dont know if I should continue this . He has said that he loves me and wants to be with me someday when everything is fixed and settled. I want to hope for that and would want to see that happening someday but the hurt I have to deal with everyday is colossal. I couldn't understand why calling can be such a hard thing to do if you say you miss somebody. If he does call it won't be more than 6 minutes. Anyway, anybody out there please help me what is my next move. What is it with Cancer men? So unfeeling, so complicated, so complex....if somebody reads this please help....see inspite of this there is a stupid little girl inside me who is so much in love....