While I know this is very hard for you (with 3 children and 11 years in this relationship) you've got some hard decisions to make. The trust issue is very important and will make you nuts if you don't do something. I suggest you ask him to leave completely because the cheating is too much for you to handle, and/or insist on counseling for both of you-maybe an impartial third party could help you both. But be firm about it-maybe HE just needs an attitude adjustment and seeing you being firm about not putting up with this crap will do it. A problem like this in a marriage needs to be handled straight-on. As Dalia said, you need to be strong, make changes on your own and not let his negativity make you doubt yourself. Comments like "I love you as the mother of my children but I'm not in love with you" are meant to hurt you period and to give him leeway to do whatever he wants. Good luck sweetie!!
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RE: Heartbroken w/3 kids