Hi - hope I've done this right. I've just copied and pasted and I will try and answer your questions
About 14 years ago I fell for a scorpio man, we have never had a relationship and I class it as unrequited love.
Was it flirting back and things.... talking to each other? Discussing problems? What made you fall? I realised I had fallen for him when I was 24, I am now 38 and I just really fancied him and his calmness was very attracted as well. He is my Vet.
I had never told him up until about 7 years ago, so I wrote a letter.
Ok, so you wrote this letter 7 years ago? Yes.
I was so scared, I had to tell him for my sake as I was married, he was/is married with 2 children and I felt a letter was more appropriate because I knew nothing could happen.
I dunno. I'm trying to figure out what prompted the letter after 7 years? was there a lot of flirting? $e%ual tention? Oh, FYI married? Children? Ouch. Things like that can ALWAYS backfire and they tend to scare people.
The guilt I felt for having these feelings and for so long were intolerable, I was starting to feel ill.
Ok, but I'm still not understanding whats prompting the feelings.... It wasn't until I started working for him that things became intolerable. We had so much in common and then he opened up a little when we were alone about his relationships in the past and his present one. How he felt like a bank (money and sperm). He really makes me laugh. I wished I'd never started working for him, fortunately it is not full time anymore.
I was also working for him at the time so this in my opinion now was a huge mistake and unprofessional.
Sadly, I think you may be right.
He completely ignored this letter.
This is usally... not too good. I'm sorry. It's just I'm wondering if this was a one sided thing? The whole what made you fell.... you were too vague. This is a one sided thing I believe and it hurts. I was married to a Scorpio at the time as well - I obviously wanted to double punish myself.
He locked my colleague in a room and was panicking, no one has ever told me what he said except for 'I can't go out with someone I work with',
Who is this colleague? What is he/she the connection? She is the Manager and he is the owner. She tried to help me through it.
that to me was a lie, I cannot imagine him saying that.
I need more info on him, the whole initial attraction and the colleague
I had to leave his employ due to my marriage break down and I was financially ruined so had to get a better paid job to keep the roof over my head.
Ok, when you left... did you discuss this with him? How did you leave? Good terms? No the Manager told him I had to leave due to my impending divorce and his reply to that was, 'I wish I was getting a divorce'. He never said anything to me, never signed my card or turned up to the day time goodbye get together. We all met up in the evening for a meal and that is when he flirted all evening with a colleague and then stormed off without saying goodbye. Everyone was shocked.
On my leaving do, he was completely indifferent towards me and flirted with a colleague the entire evening which annoyed another colleague because she knew how it was making me feel.
Is it because they had a "goodbye" party for you? Again, I need a few details... See above.
He didn't sign my leaving card or say a word to me once I left, it was as though I didn't exist.
Did you stop back and visit old co-workers? Go to dinners/parties with them? Explain... Sorry I meant during the evening when I left. After I left I saw him as client and he was much better towards me.
He has never been completely right with me but his indifference since is so hurtful.
Since... the letter? Or always? Or ??? Explain.. He has never acted entirely comfortable in my company, never holds eye contact for a normal amount of time but when he does with both look away because it is uncomfortable because it feels very intense. Since the letter he can be just plain rude (ignoring me and not including me in coversations with colleagues with me in plain sight in the room).
I have now returned working for him but only on a Saturday morning as they asked me to go back.
Who asked? A colleague asked if I would (not the manager).
I am now engaged to a cancer man and we have a nearly 5 year old son so I have moved on physically, emotionally it is taking far too long.
I'm happy for you.... but you don't seem happy for you I am happy but being a logical soul I am hurt and angry that I still have love in my heart for someone who wouldn't care if I disappeared.
I avoid him because I am convinced that it is what he wants and that he hates me.
Why are you convinced of this? Because he ignored my letter and the way he is indifferent towards me at times.
I am too scared to ask him about anything for fear it will make him angry.
Ask him for what? Is he your boss? He is my boss and I wanted to ask him how the letter made him feel and to apologise for being selfish. I got caught up in letting the emotion out I didn't stop to think about what it would do to him.
Sometimes he will acknowledge me and say hello and include me a little in a conversation but other times he is so rude and he acts like I am not there.
Again.... Explain... Self explanatory. I feel invisible, that I do not matter and he wouldn't care if he never saw me again. It is as though he says to himself, if I don't look at her she isn't there.
Why have me back?
Again... who asked who? My colleague asked me and I don't know if they ran it passed him. I can't imagine why he would want me around even though it is for a short time once a week. He got rid of me once, unless I am a huge ego boost.
I went back because we need the money and experience of what I want to do in the future etc.
Okay, good reason.
He doesn't act normally around me
and yet I don't mean anything to him, it doesn't make sense.
How do you know you don't mean anything? If he liked me as a person he would just talk to me like he does the other nurses, he has never been able to do that even before the letter. Just the one time when he described how his partners have made him feel.
He tells everyone that he is pretty unhappy in his marriage
Who's anybody? Somebody inparticular? Everyone knew at the time that he wasn't happy but as always it was one sided and he never took responsibility for what he was contributing to that unhappiness. I felt sorry for his wife.
and to be honest nobody likes his wife but I stay out of it,
Well, all I can say is that if they don't have to live with her.... it's not their business.
it wouldn't be fair of me to comment about her.
I am training to be a Counsellor and what is apparent is I am still stuck in the car park with him storming off after my leaving dinner.
I'm lost here. What dinner? What car? As above my leaving dinner, he acted angry when he stormed off, no goodbye and by doing that he never gave me a chance to say goodbye to him.
I am convinced he hates me for telling him I love him.
Again... I need more.... All of the above, what other conclusion am I supposed to make when he acts like he does?
I still love him and that kills me and I mean kills me.
Ahhh... I have a sonet for you. ..lol..
If he smiles at me or talks to me normally I feel on top of the world but if he is rude to me then I am sad for the whole day.
Okay. I understand this. I bet he does too. Why would he be sad I am nothing to him, he doesn't care about me.
He affects me like no other man has ever done and I haven't even dated him. I want to stop, put this behind me.
Hard to do, we'll discuss that later after I get more info.
Why does he throw me a hook one week and push me away the next?
..lol.. because he's a male Scorp!
If I mean nothing to him why can't he act normal?
Again, because he's a male Scorp! ..lol..
I have never pestered him about this or spoken to him. Sorry to ramble but I am in daily pain over this, could someone shed some light for me? I am a Gemini with Cancer rising.
Well, I don't know much about signs... I'm sorry. I got into it with the whole guy I'm on/off with. I'm going to cut and paste you to ASCLAC part 3 (hope you don't mind and maybe somebody else can add their 2 cents in too.
If you get a chance.. fill me in some more.
scorp men... hard as nails around their hearts.
Thank you for taking the time to ask questions, I hope I'm not still being vague. I have real trouble conveying all that has happened/happening because I am confused and need clarity. This has been going on for 14 years, my head is a mess! lol