Posts made by oxPiscesxo

I feel like when I am in a relationship I can thrive on anything. Like I feel more ambitious & more determined maybe its easier knowing someone is there. Problem is its hard to find someone who is going to stick around while I pursue my own life. I am obsessed with my freedom but at the same time I know when to tone it down for the sake of my boyfriend. I havent been in a serious relationship in 6 years I decided when I turned 20 that Id take a break for awhile & be single turned out to be 5 years exact.

When I was 25 I got involved with someone we just jumped right in.. & it felt sooo good but I guess he wanted a lot more attention & he tried to get it in a negative way and ended up leaving me for his ex... I was really hurt from that cause once I make a commitment I stick to it... cause Im focused on so much more.. Well this summer I met someone a Libra... I was still hooked on the last guy.. & he his ex... We were both hurt pretty bad & kinda like we were going through the same difficulties after them... I didnt want to be holding onto that that long but the feeling was all new to me.

Well my Libra and I have been playing the back & forth game since the bginning never making any kind of official things... til the end of the summer it got pretty bad... I wanted to know where I stand so I can focus on other things in my life.. I became to pushy & overwhelming... I just wanted to jump thats all I ddint have time to keep impressing him... He either wanted it or he didnt... I weas just mixed between taking it slow & jumping since I was really hurt before... & so was he.. however things got really bad... he just said to forget him & he didnt want what I was looking for... I never completely explained what I was looking for because I have no idea... Im still adjusting from frequent dating life to wanting more but how to go about it without looking desperate... which I am because I want someone there... whos got my back... Anyway Im really trying to find ways to fix this...

So tomorrow when I talk to him I want to just tell him I really like him a lot... & I want to know if he'd give this another chance... & be my boyfriend... he doesnt need to be giving me attention all the time.. I can adjust well.. We both havent been in something like this for a long time...

I just really needed time to love myself again in order to really love somebody else... that heart ache was so new to me... & I knew that if I loved myself I would be able to see past my Libras flaws.. I know I can bring more to this relationship I just couldnt make the move or sincerely be a part of it if I couldnt even be myself.... There was so much I missed though through this summer that i could have made even more magical for him... I dont know if we could start over & have my chance to show him my true self! If I cant at least I know I can stand on my own two feet again & do right with the next one... I dont know if he will though.

Anyway do other Pisces feel they dont see what they have right in front of them? Like it sometimes takes me sometime to really get somewhat comfortable with someone. I dont know though that he would see that or appreciate that or believe me. Could two people really start over? Or should I just let it go? My confidence then was so shot.. Im 27 and was going through some serious life changes & worrying about my future. And actually today was the first time I actually let the old heartache go completely. I was just being very cautious.

If anybody would like to do a reading... Your more then welcome...

Hello! Would anyone like to do a reading for us?!?

Me: 3-8-83 & Him: 10-1-70 ...

I need to know if im going to be ok I just put someone I really cared for thru some serious stuff that Im in shock about with how I acted because of outside influences. Im just not in a good place right now.

Id like to know what could possibly be going on with my life right now in love

Please do not post this stuff on other peoples comments. This is spamming & disrespectful.

Or I dont really know... I am completely unbalanced in my feelings & emotions. I go through one thought to the next.

I stopped writing completely instead I brought my anger out on him instead of into my journal. My only outlet is like a cry for help to someone... and I feel like I cannot really express myself truthfully because I dont know where I stand as a person. Ive gone from one idea of us to the next... thinking one thing is it and then changing ... As of right now Im living in a very unstable environment. I needed an outlet.. i needed my thoughts and feelings to be heard. My imagination is completely blocked. My vision for my future is completely blocked. I understand we set our own limitations in our minds but I am completely blocked and scared.

I just lost myself completely over the course of 2 years & want to know if Ill ever gain it back & at the same time have someone be apart of my life. I havent been in a serious relationship in 6 years... I focused a lot more on growing as an individual & finding my self.. I dated briefly however at the beginning of all these changes... I got involved with someone who I kinda fell hard for.. and I just remember not wanting move for days... My parents had split... my dog die & they lost our childhood home.. during all that I just couldn't move anymore.. Things only got worse from there..

I try to be very optimistic in life.. I do... but when I see my loved ones hurting is when I feel the most negative... My family got worse.. I moved with my mother to help her.. instead it just got worse.. none of us were adjusting correctly to the situation.. & all of us had our own pain.. None of that has been fixed since..

Im finding myself getting stronger through this.. but my mother & I are still not okay.. I feel empty & scared...

My guy has been there for me.. Hes tried to be strong.. yet he has his own baggage to deal with.. We try to be as a direct as possible with eachother but sometimes Im a brick wall.. & dont trust myself...

I have no job... as of now.. & im on my way to being kicked out of my home with my mother.. for some reason we are done to nothing & I actually feel a breath of fresh almost... Im not trying to show pity..

I also fear taking a step forward as it could be the wrong one.. there are certain things in my life that I do want in the future like I always wanted.. Im ambitious.. and thats something Ive always been...

I just didnt feel it was worth it trying again to do things right with my guy... there are going to be times I fall completely apart ... & I regret not holding back the words I said.. but somehow I needed to be heard... or just hear myself...

Thanks for allowing me to open up!!!

I just miss him being there as a friend. We had an open relationship & things got too much.. and I started thinking otherwise on the situation.

I think I drove my guy away for good. Im just so torn between the directions Im going in life. I was just in some serious mess with family... & Right now I have no filter for my actions or words.. which only after I acted that way for the third time did I realize the immense anger & craziness I am in.. I am torn completely from myself... & I dont trust my feelings at all.. How do I stop thinking about him. How do I just let him go... I cannot forgive myself for another person I put this through. Ive driven so many people out of my life out of anger in the past year... I am just not in a good place emotionally...

Whats meant to be will be right? I just need to let this guy go for now so I can stand back on my own too feet.. but the guilt from the way Ive acted is holding me back... Ive already tried to make amends but honestly I wouldnt trust myself either acting that way...

I want my confidence back. My strength... My optimism back on life... & at the same time hope to have the opportunity to try again with him. However I dont want to hold onto him in my head... it will only hold me back... I never meant to hurt him like that... I just screamed at him & said some horrible things just because I dont feel so good about myself.

You are right. Thank you for that!!!

Hey!!! No im here I just had too many accounts didnt realize it was under my old one...

But yeah!!! I loved your reading.. you are right I am a solid brick wall!!!!! Its funny how Ive gone through so much this past year... 10 years exactly since I decided to go a different route in my life... I was such a free spirit but I didnt think Id survive in the real world like that... however this past summer I decided to take more chances... every chance I could get to find this missing person in me... I just want to break free... I am so bored with my life I feel like breaking away... like Im not going to get what I want out of life if I continue pretending be someone Im not... I remember at 17 I cut it all out.. everything.. yeah there are somethings I shouldnt get back into but I need to find a way to balance my free spirit & be responsible.. I just feel very miserable.. and almost jealous of those who have struggled & made mistakes... Ive been ttrying for awhile to be perfect... & I just dont fit right now...

Im not sure what my issue is right now exactly & where I stand in my life...