Much thanks to you both...here now, trying to just have fun and not be so serious. Be in the moment, knowing they are precious.
Much love and light to you both for your kind and insightful wisdom.
Much thanks to you both...here now, trying to just have fun and not be so serious. Be in the moment, knowing they are precious.
Much love and light to you both for your kind and insightful wisdom.
I am going through the same thing with a Cancer guy. Moved fast, intense, romantic, then distant, sloooowwww- long story, but similar. My advice, they move fast, get intense then back off when they have strong feelings, especially if you push. Don't push, stress that you want to be friends, less pressure on him. Enjoy what time you get with him and appreciate that he is being honest with you and himself about where he is at and how much he can give you. If you can- be friends, slow it down, and go with the flow. You may get more out of him and establish a nice relationship.
Another quick question or potential for a brief reading...he has told me he loves me and is NOT one to mince 'feeling' words or give them freely. He pulled away, or so it seems to me and my romantic style/ pace. Was he pulling away or just thinking or not aware that more contact is important to me? Am I chasing him to much, does he like that, or want to chase me or doesn't care about those games? Does he want me to come out or did I push this visit? Does he still have as strong of feelings for me? Do you think this visit will do anything in terms of pushing it forward or settling it into something?
I am afraid to ask these questions either AGAIN or bring up serious stuff because our last two visits it came up in some way. He always says the same things...my hands are tied, I just got laid off, I normally work overseas and can be anywhere in the world three months from now. I've never felt this way, but don't you think I am holding back because I am afraid to get hurt, I want to see you as soon as I can.
<sigh>I just want to have a nice, fun weekend...enjoy him while I can. But, don't want to be an insecure wreck when I come back.</sigh>
Thank-you so much Daliolite and Captain...both of you have offered a lot. Much to weigh and consider.
I am going to see him this weekend. Do either of you have any insight into the weekend? Are there things I should avoid or bring up or just enjoy the time with him? Any insight into his thoughts/ intentions with the weekend?
I should say Captain that when we are together and talk on the phone it is seamless, a very strong connect. The long distance thing and his distance is the problem...he called today and wants me to visit this weekend, pays for most things when we are together. Its the back and forth that is confusing.
Just taking a stab at it:
Are you leaving a relationship? Or involved in one that is not satisfying? I am thinking of the two cats, a pair, but they are abnormal? If you are leaving or currently in a relationship is their some imbalance? Something out of the norm from tradition? Thinking of the cross here as well...like there is some guilt, or a thought that you should be feeling guilt according to society? Something secret? The hair could be vulnerability but I also see lose of her as a lose of self, an important part of the self that is being sacrificed, think scalping. A self-less sacrifice made for the sake of the other cat, that is now ending, being turned around?
The mall could signify the crowd, going against the crowd and decisions therein, the idea that this person or couple are involved in a way that others see as disapproving in some ways. Abuse, addition, arguments, sexual identity, etc.?
If it isn't a love relationship, do you know someone going through identity issues or serious life- changing things?
Is there any history of abuse in your own life, or someone you've been talking to that is being healed? This could also apply.
Please let me know if any of the above applies.
PS- I noticed you do reading, would you mind taking a look at my post? I am Ophelia74, it is below this one I think.
Anyone, please, I am horribly despondent over a relationship I have been in for a year now. This is with someone I now love, been friends for 14 years, out of contact for 10, re-united a little over a year ago, meet in person for the first time in 14 year three months ago, spent 6 weeks traveling together, then 10 days again recently, been three weeks sine I've seen him.
Hard to play house for 2 out of the last 3 1/2 months...we don't live near each other. He told me he loved me at the airport after 6 weeks of living together, arranged the 10 day visit, played house again, I brought up "where is this going, can it be, what does it mean" conversations 5-6 times throughout these visits, always ended with "I don't know, it can't be anything, I just got layed off don't know where my life is at, etc."...He said he never felt this way, single, never married, nearly 40. I have three kids and just ended a 17 year marriage.
I am a pisces, he is a cancer.
He has been distant since I left three weeks ago, only picking up every few days, I call him (which has always kinda been the pattern), he just got mad recently about an accidental call from my sister from my cell phone...said at one point, we are not at the point for your family to call, I told him I didn't say we where and it was an accident...he thinks I am playing games because he was getting hang ups and thinks it is me. I told him no and that it hurts my feelings that he would think that...much more. I haven't heard from him...he told me he loved me again at the airport and that we would see each other soon. HE also said a few nights early during a "serious talk" don't you think I am hesitant because I don't want to get hurt. He didn't say I love you more then three times, always toward the end...we have a GREAT time together, the connection is seamless and sincere and real.
I asked him before this recent thing if he would meet me next weekend, he said maybe we can do that, we'll talk....well the thing happened, and no calls, didn't pick up when I called, but he has family in town. Not unusual for him to be busy over the weekend.
Any thoughts? About the future? Him? Us? Is he mad or just taking a break? Is he trying to avoid me and let me down easy? Did he just freak out from his emotions? What can I do, be patient? Should I call again? Do you think he will receive it?
Do you think we will meet in person soon?
Any other insight? I wish I could just talk to him about it all...not sure if this is a break or a good-bye.
Thank-you for any thoughts...
Shuabby...I have appreciated your insight in the past with this situation. I have new questions and developments in the past month and I am interested in your insight. Are you willing to answer more questions relating to those?
He appears distant lately. I call him, he picks up during the week, not on the weekends. Says he is bored, when we talk it is for some time. There have been a few gliches with technology that have resulted in mis-sent texts and him being called accidentally by my sister. This irritated him and resulted in an argument a few days ago with me trying to defend myself that I did not have her call him, that I am not 'pranking' him, because he received hang up calls. He has a new number and I told him that must be what it is. We spoke for two hours on Monday, I asked him Wednesday if he would be willing to meet up with me next weekend. He said that sounded possible, let's talk, then the argument happened.
Questions are...he feels distant lately, is he, am I reading this right? Is he pulling away from me? If so, why do you think this is the case? Again, he was loving when I left him, said he loved me, are these feelings the reason he is 'distant'? Does he want me to be in contact with him still? Is he still angry about this conversation, about my sister calling him? Will he meet me next weekend and answer when I call on Tuesday? Is he just busy or ignoring me?
I am living more i the moment with him, even joined a dating site, trying to appreciate when we do talk and if we do meet, just taking it for what it is, when it happens. I just hope I get a chance to continue doing this.
is there anyway you would be willing to do a private reading? I have questions about my life in general, and a few about this situation. But, more with career and other things. If so, please email, maybe we could do it over the phone if you had time-
Thank-you for all your time and energy with me. Like I said, you've been good counsel here for me. I have had enough with my emotions and have chosen to begin to center again and focus on myself as you've suggested, and others. The spiraling has stopped and I've gotten some sage and a good therapist. I spoke with a friend for a few hours last night and decided to finally let it be...wholly and completely.
The 'issue' between us is very serious but not necessary for a 911 call :)...but it is something we each have to deal with now. Something that led to the spiraling and all the recent emotional instability. I've accepted it now and have chosen to take care of myself, as it is necessary to responsibly deal with this issue. I need myself to be strong and realize that I can't do anything about it or how he responds and when. He never did call but some bits of news scare people away. Or, as you mentioned, he is processing in his own time and I need to be sensitive to that. I don't think I have been very sensitive to where he is at. I also think you are right, in that, he is not responding due to his own stuff...weighing.
But thank-you so much. I will re-read all the recent readings, as I think they still apply even with this recent bump. I think we just need a break to focus inward and hopefully we'll be in contact soon. I know we still care and love each other. You do have a gift with the tarot and words and counsel.
Much love and peace to you...hope you are finding time for your art. ~O
Astra...something new has happened that concerns both of us (together). I can't get into it.
But, please ask if we can handle this. Will we weather this storm...because I call him to discuss this and no answer. He won't call me back. Why? I am hurt, frustrated, and angry. I am the only one calling him and this new thing, been informed about it TODAY, is VERY serious.
Please ask one more time for me...is he done with this situation with me? Is he avoiding me? Does he want to stop communicating with me? Is he pulling away? If so, what can I do and will he come back or is he just done.
I will respond to your lengthy and generous reading soon...I do think me Angel is pressing hard and I am nearly crumbled.
Thank-you very much for your wisdom....please understand that sometimes, in times of distress or confusion, it takes a minute to fully absorb things. It takes a bit to recycle...we are not all ready to fully embrace truths. I appreciate your insight fully and wanted to ask you because of it. We all have different styles of processing our lives and stress. Your wisdom is there...part of the cycle...important part...as I am still not quite sure if this is for me. If I can handle dating long distance in an 'open/ non committed' relationship.
You are right to say what you've said and it is marinating with the rest of it as I make this important decision and transition in my life. I don't make decisions, or take relationships, lightly. That is both a blessing and a curse...and as a triple Pisces...maybe that further complicates things for me.
You are very wise and your insight has been very deeply embraced.
I understand...but I asked some of these in a different context, at a different time in our relationship, before this recent visit. I was wondering if things had changed since this visit. Can you at least answer this...if I can accept this all...will I see him again in the next few months? Will he contact me soon? Did I do anything this last visit to push him away or is he just busy- is his silence a good-bye?
That is really all I need know...new queries for this now. If you are able to look at those only, I would be much appreciative.
Astra...if you have any time to respond to the above I would be grateful...positive or negative...anything. I have been upset most of the weekend. I called Fri and Sat...heard nothing back...is he weening me from him? Any insight to the questions/ comments above?
I know you have a life outside of this...I guess I just need some further counsel on it all.
I consulted with you some time ago about a friend I have been seeing long distance. We visited recently, last week for ten days, had also spent nearly two months together overseas this past summer. I went on this recent trip with the intent for it to be fun and not serious, no serious "where is this going" conversations. We ended up having one two nights before I left...I avoid these because he wants to see me but can't commit due to work and living situations. These conversations frustrate him, as he is more of a realist than I and feels he has told me all he can right now. He has told me he loves me and at the airport, not to cry that we would see each other again. Even though the night of the argument/ serious talk, he said no that we wouldn't see each other again because I freak out and when will it all stop...
He confuses me as he says he loves me and even introduced me to his family this past visit, mom, sister, nephew, cousins. I just divorced a man after 17 years, so the dating scene is new to me. Things like this make me think it is 'something' and not just a casual 'hook up when we can' situation.
Can you reflect on this and tell me what you see from spirit. I've spoken with him twice since returning, both times he called back. But, I called Fri and Sat (sent two FB messages- just videos for him to watch that I thought he would think is funny) to say hi and he didn't return my calls. I have since decided to wait. I am in a panic because I am afraid that he is 'weening' me...like he was afraid of confrontation at the airport, I asked is this a final goodbye or goodbye for now on the way to the airport. He said no goodbye till next time and then I love you to and don't cry we'll see each other soon when we were saying good-bye.
I will not bombard you here...just wanted some insight into the current situation. Do you think there is a sincere intent with me? Do you think he enjoyed our visit together? Do you think my emotions pushed him away or are his feelings growing and it scares him...like he has them but what can he do and so why continue to hurt us both? Do you think we will see each other again soon?
We always have a wonderful time together...it is nearly seamless. There are def. moments when we are not gelling so beautifully...but overall we get a long pretty well.
Please let me know what you hear...and any further insight.
Astra...you have been a great counsel for me, calming, and I am in a panic (still). If I am asking too much and too often please let me know.
I have spoken with friends who have made me stressed about my friend. One is fairly intuitive and psychic herself, right on with many things. She feels my friend has been coming around or staying (as in overseas with me for two months) because it is convenient. Another friend feels that my emotions on this last visit pushed him away. And since he does not contact me a lot, only every few days, and doesn't do some (more intimate) things sexually (like kissing- he doesn't kiss a lot- or oral- this is probably TMI) that he "just isn't into me" and that I should leave him alone. I am NOT experienced in the dating world.
He is a bachelor, nearly 40, no kids, only three long term relationships all ended with his heart broken, and I am sure due to his personality as well as hers. He has been with MANY woman, and as my friend (before we became romantically involved) admitted to being with over 100 women, including prostitutes while overseas. He said a few months back that he has only told three women he loved them, then told me that at the airport (overseas and just now this week) that he loved me.
I have overlooked all this. But, I have also overlooked the times he has told me that it couldn't be more than it is because of the distance. That we can't be in a relationship...not now, probably not ever, it is all impossible because of the distance and situation. I have a job, kids, house, etc., in the midwest, his family is on the coast...he doesn't have a job right now, will probably apply mainly overseas again, and he can't tell me anything serious because he doesn't know where his life is going at all.
He is loving to me, pays for everything, gentle, kind...also tempermental at times, somewhat critical...but we all have faults, areas for improvement. But, when I am with him he is totally focused on me. I said some things this visit out of anger because I found emails (which I didn't tell him) that told me he had lied about seeing someone before he came to visit me when we were overseas, also little things like "do you call everyone sweetie"..."no, just you"...but he addressed this woman as sweetie. I was crushed. I was also mad for two days after that...this was in the beginning of our ten day visit last week. I shouldn't have gone looking for what I didn't want to see...but I don't like when people lie and it was up (he didn't log out when I went to log in), I was tempted and....well....I figured it happened before we meet each other again in person- I ended up dismissing it.
Well, I said a few things as a result, like, "well, I can't really be in a relationship with you anyway"...he said "you can think about it that way if you want to"...or I told him that I slept with me ex while separated a few weeks before seeing him and I had told him we'd been together but never when. When he found out it was that close to seeing him...he was mad. Called me a liar and a hypocrite...while knowing (both of us) that he had been seeing someone while telling me he wasn't. That was a the one "bad" night where I asked what we were doing and he told me this was all it could be because of where we both were and that he didn't want to see me again after that..."when will it stop". But, he has since said otherwise at the airport "don't cry, we'll see each other again soon". And "no this isn't a final good-bye, it is goodbye till next time".
My probably is...what to believe. He has generally been a man of his word...cautious to say too much, cautious when he says anything, consistent. I feel he didn't tell me about the woman because we were only talking by email, unsure if we would ever see each other. Probably also because it really wasn't my business. So, it isn't an issue of him seeing someone just that I had casually asked when we were together and he said no.
You're readings are beautiful and consistent to what I feel in general, and to another reader I consulted some time ago. I feel that with him...an easy flow, able to be myself, but everything is so complicated. I am impatient. I am fearful and insecure. He is NOT committed to me and thinking about him being with other people hurts me. Plus, I am having my own issues and need to focus on those. I don't understand why this situation puts me in such a crazy place. Like if I call him and he doesn't call back right away...I spiral.
Are there more questions you can ask from all this I've told you, from spirit, that my help clarify things for me. Good or bad. I will leave the questions to you, as it may be more insightful, from a clearer, different perspective than my jumbled mind.
Good or bad...really.
I do have a few here, please add others as you see fit:
Should I just say good-bye? Is this too hard on me? If not, how can I make it easier?
Is this worth the wait and patience?
Is he wanting this to end? Does he want me to stop contacting him?
Will I see him again before January?
Will he be with other women while away from me?
Does he have true intentions with me?
Has he only seen me because it is convenient?
Does his lack of more intimate sexual contact mean he isn't into me? Does he have intimacy issues?
Does it mean something important to him to say I love you and introduce me to his family?
Did my emotions on this last visit push him away at all?
Thanks for any time and energy given to this again...I hope to find some peace very soon.
(question) Some of your new insights make me think that maybe this visit made him think more about all this...in a not so good way. Is that what you see? Did this visit make him "like me less" or maybe feel stressed about this all.
OR- (question) Did the visit make him love me more and that is scary for him and where he is at in his life?
ALSO- you wrote: ... you continue sharing, it is bot a lot however it seems to be what you need.
Do you mean it is "NOT" a lot however...
so you don't see us communicating a lot? Like is it regular communication, a few times a week or less?
That's all...for now...because you are right I need to focus on me and let it be where it is.