Hi all, this is my 1st post so let e tell you little about me, im Pisces female, 24 y/o and i as all Pisces are emotional, dreamy and lots of time unrealistic yet i hate being Pisces i have nothing in common with Pisces other than being emotional and having lots of dreams , unlike normal Pisces girls im very out going and i appreciate my freedom (big time) im not feminine even tho im pretty i would rather watch the football while my partner cooks and clean.. im a rebel and to a certain degree selfish , i want everything and i wanted now , i have very strong character and im single minded, i don't like advices and i will do wrong just because i want to.... GET THE PIC !
Now because im so imperfect (of course im a girl with a guy mind set) it is so hard to be in relationships , it smother me,i get fed up so easily and i always break up with guys because they don't fit my standards and the biggest issue of all i don't like being the dominant yet i find my self all the time in control , like i have this gift or a curse to make guys fall in love with me and do what ever i please then dump them because they have no characters and cant say no to me !!!
i love clubbing and drinking (weekends) for a couple of months i notices this very attractive guy looking and staring to me ,, knowing my self i love a good game so i stared back at him the same way he stares at me (like looking to each other blankly across the club) i have to say this , even tho im darn arrogant to admit this but i liked the way he looked at me, he wasn't staring at my legs or my little dress he was staring into my eyes and somehow i thought he is brave to do so (local club-im well known of having anger issues and i do fight with anyone who looks at me in a way i don't like) it happened again the week after he blankly stares at me (normally guys chat up with pretty girls not just stare at them specially if the guy is hot) but he didn't he didn't talk to me or do anything other than staring to me to let me know that he is staring at me !!, the week after the same thing happened then it happened again and again and again, for weeks we stare at each other, i got bored i actually thought that's one guy not interested in me !! in the mean time i went on a date with this super nice guy who i dumped after the 2nd date for being too nice , the week after i went clubbing with my girl's and here he was my last victim and the the guy who just stare they happened to be friends !!
this week i had some mutual friends who introduce him to me, he didn't say much , i didnt say much and we didn't talk, not me , not him BUT he kept staring at me (to this point i got hocked - when you play games all the time your weakest point is when you cant get what you want or figure it out) i actually was interested for real in this guy (who stares at me) last weekend i went out and through the same mutual friends we start talking (really bad conversation)
Him: hi how are you?
Me: ya im good thanks
Him: Do you wanna have a drink with me?
Me: no, not really im with friends and ill leave soon.
Him: you going to (Sk-a club where all party animals end up) later
Me: no , im not i cant arsed
Him: you should come
Me: what do you mean i SHOULD
Him: You just should, i will be waiting for you.
Me: ha ha OK may be i should come , ill may be see you late then.
and unlike my self i actually went to the club , we talked then he asked me if i wanna go some where else less louder to speak, we went out it was almost 4 am we talked about rubbish (cant remember most of what we said-alcohol related effects) buy we ended up spending the night together (we didn't have sex-i don't just give my self easily and he didn't have a problem with it he actually laughed at me when i told him we not gonna have sex!!!!)
that was a week ago, he can keep me interested.. and we didn't have sex yet. now let me tell you a little about him.
He is European , very hot (i mean he have this killer body and sexy mysterious face) he speaks many languages and he is very smart (smart people are really challenging) yet he is down to earth and he do what he likes when ever he likes , he thinks like me !!! and he is a trouple maker..
now im confused, if he is all of that why he didn't talk to me weeks ago??? ,he says he didn't want to speak to me because he thought ill be arrogant and ill be rude to him and because he know him self he probably would get very angry and wouldn't let me get away with it (a sign of strong character-likey likey !!) so he waited to (test the water) !! he is Aquarius witch isn't really a good match with Pisces .
we watch movies together, i already met his friends and he met mine, he even so quickly become friends with my girlfriends boyfriends !!!
Now i have a problem!!!
If you didn't already hate me because i talk too much or because im just annoying here you go.
i simply know that im a player and i love the game, i know im a good player too!
The problem is i cant figure him out he is one of two
1- just a guy who happen to like me very much to be keen on me with all the bad things in my character (like me the way i am) and also happen that some how i think he is worth quiting the game for ! i do like him and i secretly wish if i can stop being such an as*hole and actually be just a girl
2-he is one of the %00.0001 who actually can be smarter than i am and he is nothing but a better player than me , it takes a good player to beat up another good player and each to their own and it is the time for me to pay back !! i just can go on life being me and get away with it all the time , in some point Karma will bite me and im expecting it so he might be just my punishment !...
so... you probably hate me by now (some times i hate my self too because the way i am, it is like i was made that way a heartless beautiful bitch for a reason)
but i would like to say one more thing before you set your mind on this idea that im just bad.
I do that to protect my self , i don't like getting hurt so i mind set my self to be the way i am and i got used of it that it became me.
Now Mentally not well Pisces meets Crazy Aquarius ..
Now i do need an advice!!
How to work this out !! any ideas ????