Cancer men advance and retreat, then change directions and do it again. They approach indirectly and with caution and are very intuitive and protective of their emotions. I don’t know about the women, but have seen this in the men. You dated briefly a while back and it didn’t work out and then you moved on. I would think he would have seen this as a failure or rejection, so even if he might want, he won’t jump in again head first. You agreed to be friends and as he said, don’t overthink it. Cancer is a cardinal sign and if he wants to pursue something, he will lead but it might not be in a straight line and it might not be where you want to go. It can be emotionally exhausting, but it is what it is.

Wow, weird and confusing behaviour.

Thank you ladies for your positive thoughts and energy.

Some of those friendships I had since I was a teenager. People change throughout the years and when we get hurt, we either choose to forgive or we choose to keep that hurt within our being. My best friend at the time won’t forgive, not only her ex but anyone and everyone, and that build up of negative energy made her into a bitter, judgemental and unhappy person. I didn’t realize how much her energy affected me until that friendship ended and I felt that dark cloud lift from my psyche. I wish her well and hope that she seeks the help that she needs, which I have been urging her to do throughout the years.

I was with my cancer for 4 years about 10 years ago. Prior to that we went thru the struggles that you read in some of the cancer man pages in this forum. When our relationship ended we stayed in contact and that same friend (she does have psychic abilities) told me that he would never let me go. He never has and we got back together last year with different attitudes and expectations. I have no illusions that we will be together for the rest of our lives, but I know we will always be in each other’s life.

@ToriDori. If your cancer is anything like mine, he won’t admit in words that he did any wrong, but he will acknowledge it with his actions and make it up to you. Right or wrong, if he feels like he is being criticized, he will defend himself. And I agree, its selfish and it’s not a mature way of dealing with things.

@ScorpVirgo, yay! This is all positive news! You now both know the relationship status of each other and he’s taking an interest in your life. This you did, while at the same time protecting yourself and hopefully another layer will be peeled off like an onion and your relationship will develop further. Sometimes it’s better to discover more about someone before we jump into a relationship when emotions become more heightened.

Bravo to both of you for taking care of yourselves and your own needs!

@Jame93
Aqua lady. I’m curious about your placements. I’m curious because you said you’re a typical Aquarian, but Aquarian’s are famous or infamous for their ability to detach. In the end, he decided to move to another country. Maybe his behaviour changed because a relationship wasn’t in his plans or maybe the relationship was in the other country. You may never find out, but why waste your energy on someone that isn’t here for you today?

@Tombroody
How does she fulfill your ideal of the “love of your life” ?
Is the consistent cheating part of your ideal? Has she sincerely asked for your forgiveness or are you just saying that you forgive to stay in her life ?
Please, ask yourself if this is how you deserve to be treated or if this is how you want to be treated. She will not change, because she has no reason to change. And you have told her (and yourself) that she is the love of your life, as she is. So again, is this your idea of love?

I remember when we were much younger, I asked a friend of mine why she stayed with her first boyfriend even though she knew he as cheating on her. Her response was “because I’m not ready to let go yet”. Do not hold on to something that will damage your trust and self esteem, because the longer you hold on, the more damage it will cause. You have the power to change only yourself and the power to decide what type of behaviour is acceptable to you.

@ScorpioEliza
I’m sorry that you’re going thru this. I know they can be emotionally exhausting.

“I am harming you. I am sorry, I will not text you again.”,
He acknowledges that he’s hurting you, but instead of trying to fix what’s wrong, he’ll just stop texting you? Although I’m sure he’s sorry for causing pain and he might not even realize it, but this is kind of manipulative. I don’t think this is only a Cancer trait and could apply to anyone to some degree.

And, ‘his door is open just so you know’
Understand, that if you do want to go back, that it will be on on his terms.
One thing I’ve learned is that when you’re not afraid of losing someone, that’s when they want to hold on to you.

@ScorpioEliza
You did the right thing in letting him go. You know he’s not emotionally available, he never was. He wants freedom without obligations, in case something else comes along ? Sounds like he doesn’t know what he wants so it’s best to let him figure out his life without harming you along the way.

I’m glad you opened up and told him how you feel and how his actions make you feel. Even though it hurts, I believe it’s better to be up front and know exactly where he’s coming from. It would have been an upward battle all the way, with him always pulling back and with you always feeling deprived of intimacy.

Yes, protect yourself and live with no regrets.

Edited to add: He does have feelings for you. He doesn’t know what it is, but he’s also resisting it. If you let him keep coming back into your life so easily, then his behaviour will never change.

@ScorpioEliza
He’ll be back.
I have an aversion to labels also. A label implies an agenda in my mind. It sounds like you understand him pretty well already, even if you’re feeling confused. The naturalness will eventually come with trust, but it’ll be slow and each time he opens up about something big, he’ll check in to see if you’re still there. It’s one of those back and forth things Cancers are kind of famous for. Hope it all works out.

@ScorpioEliza
He says he just wants casual, but are you willing to settle for that? It could be a long process for him to open up and truly let you in, so you need to decide whether you think it’s worth it. Have you spent time at his place? His behaviour bothers me, as I’m sure it does you too. This weirdness is him making sure he doesn’t get involved. I think he must have been hurt in his previous relationship. You could approach it in a couple of ways. 1) continue with casual and slowly draw him in closer 2) let him know what you want and let him decide whether he wants to take the chance.

@Selenite
It depends. There are 30 degrees per sign. A sign could could span over more than 1 house or less than 1 house, as in the case of intercepted signs/house. A house more often than not spans over 2 signs. Saturn takes about 2.5-3 years per sign, it retrogrades and goes direct and is very slow moving. It takes 28-29 years to transit the whole natal chart to the point where Saturn was at birth, hence the term Saturn return.

@ScorpioEliza
You’re right, he’s emotionally unavailable. It also explains why he had no problem starting up with you while you were in a relationship with someone else. He’s not thinking relationship. He doesn’t allow himself to bond and becomes distant if he starts to. It’s something more than just being unhappy with his job. It goes deeper than that.
If he does come back and I think he will, it will still be casual.

@Liyaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We expect good from everyone, that they will do the right thing and treat others the same as how they want to be treated. Or that they will see how well they are being treated and want to do the same. Unfortunately, that’s just not reality. You are the only one that can determine what is acceptable to you.
When we give too much without setting boundaries, then we start losing ourselves. He has no fear of losing you because you put up with everything that he does, out of love. You can’t expect him to change when there are no consequences for him. Find your voice or find the door.

@Taurusgirl21
Yeh, his boredom, lack of interest, no libido, not caring, are all signs of depression. I don’t know anyone with aspergers, but I do know someone who suffers from depression. Unfortunately, your distance makes it hard to do anything other than remind him of your love, that you’re not going anywhere and let him work it out. The good thing is that he’s talking to you about it. If he says that he doesn’t want to lose you, then you haven’t lost him.

@Taurusgirl21
Do you know if he suffers from depression?

@LibGemSag
Happy New Year
Have you considered friendship for the time being? This might give you both the opportunity to work thru some of the issues without the pressures and expectations of a relationship.