Cancer men advance and retreat, then change directions and do it again. They approach indirectly and with caution and are very intuitive and protective of their emotions. I don’t know about the women, but have seen this in the men. You dated briefly a while back and it didn’t work out and then you moved on. I would think he would have seen this as a failure or rejection, so even if he might want, he won’t jump in again head first. You agreed to be friends and as he said, don’t overthink it. Cancer is a cardinal sign and if he wants to pursue something, he will lead but it might not be in a straight line and it might not be where you want to go. It can be emotionally exhausting, but it is what it is.

Wow, weird and confusing behaviour.

Thank you ladies for your positive thoughts and energy.

Some of those friendships I had since I was a teenager. People change throughout the years and when we get hurt, we either choose to forgive or we choose to keep that hurt within our being. My best friend at the time won’t forgive, not only her ex but anyone and everyone, and that build up of negative energy made her into a bitter, judgemental and unhappy person. I didn’t realize how much her energy affected me until that friendship ended and I felt that dark cloud lift from my psyche. I wish her well and hope that she seeks the help that she needs, which I have been urging her to do throughout the years.

I was with my cancer for 4 years about 10 years ago. Prior to that we went thru the struggles that you read in some of the cancer man pages in this forum. When our relationship ended we stayed in contact and that same friend (she does have psychic abilities) told me that he would never let me go. He never has and we got back together last year with different attitudes and expectations. I have no illusions that we will be together for the rest of our lives, but I know we will always be in each other’s life.

@ToriDori. If your cancer is anything like mine, he won’t admit in words that he did any wrong, but he will acknowledge it with his actions and make it up to you. Right or wrong, if he feels like he is being criticized, he will defend himself. And I agree, its selfish and it’s not a mature way of dealing with things.

@ScorpVirgo, yay! This is all positive news! You now both know the relationship status of each other and he’s taking an interest in your life. This you did, while at the same time protecting yourself and hopefully another layer will be peeled off like an onion and your relationship will develop further. Sometimes it’s better to discover more about someone before we jump into a relationship when emotions become more heightened.

Bravo to both of you for taking care of yourselves and your own needs!

@Jame93
Aqua lady. I’m curious about your placements. I’m curious because you said you’re a typical Aquarian, but Aquarian’s are famous or infamous for their ability to detach. In the end, he decided to move to another country. Maybe his behaviour changed because a relationship wasn’t in his plans or maybe the relationship was in the other country. You may never find out, but why waste your energy on someone that isn’t here for you today?

@Tombroody
How does she fulfill your ideal of the “love of your life” ?
Is the consistent cheating part of your ideal? Has she sincerely asked for your forgiveness or are you just saying that you forgive to stay in her life ?
Please, ask yourself if this is how you deserve to be treated or if this is how you want to be treated. She will not change, because she has no reason to change. And you have told her (and yourself) that she is the love of your life, as she is. So again, is this your idea of love?

I remember when we were much younger, I asked a friend of mine why she stayed with her first boyfriend even though she knew he as cheating on her. Her response was “because I’m not ready to let go yet”. Do not hold on to something that will damage your trust and self esteem, because the longer you hold on, the more damage it will cause. You have the power to change only yourself and the power to decide what type of behaviour is acceptable to you.

@Taurusgirl21
Yeh, his boredom, lack of interest, no libido, not caring, are all signs of depression. I don’t know anyone with aspergers, but I do know someone who suffers from depression. Unfortunately, your distance makes it hard to do anything other than remind him of your love, that you’re not going anywhere and let him work it out. The good thing is that he’s talking to you about it. If he says that he doesn’t want to lose you, then you haven’t lost him.

@Taurusgirl21
Do you know if he suffers from depression?

@LibGemSag
Happy New Year
Have you considered friendship for the time being? This might give you both the opportunity to work thru some of the issues without the pressures and expectations of a relationship.

@Tombroody
How does she fulfill your ideal of the “love of your life” ?
Is the consistent cheating part of your ideal? Has she sincerely asked for your forgiveness or are you just saying that you forgive to stay in her life ?
Please, ask yourself if this is how you deserve to be treated or if this is how you want to be treated. She will not change, because she has no reason to change. And you have told her (and yourself) that she is the love of your life, as she is. So again, is this your idea of love?

I remember when we were much younger, I asked a friend of mine why she stayed with her first boyfriend even though she knew he as cheating on her. Her response was “because I’m not ready to let go yet”. Do not hold on to something that will damage your trust and self esteem, because the longer you hold on, the more damage it will cause. You have the power to change only yourself and the power to decide what type of behaviour is acceptable to you.

@Moony
“And all of a sudden he started making me feel bad and guilting me about what he used to do for me when we were together...”
This, I think is important. He’s telling you what the issue is. It’s not just about spending all day with him. It’s about appreciating that he wanted to spend all day with you among other things.
I think he does care about you and still wants to be friends, but he did say he wants to give you time to move on.

@angeliyna_mysterica
Good synastry aspects only go so far, imo.
You guys don’t seem to be communicating with each other very well. If you have emotional triggers that you are already aware of, then being aware of them is half the battle. Most people don’t even know that their reactions might be triggered from a past hurt or trauma. The 2nd half of the battle is allowing yourself to be vulnerable enough to share them with someone you are serious about.
You think he might be hurt and is taking it out on you ? It’s possible. A hurt cancer man can be next to impossible to deal with, because he doesn’t forget that feeling. He dates someone, he comes back, then he’s gone again dating someone else? Maybe he doesn’t trust you enough to make a go of it?
My thought, if you are serious and willing to try, then explain to him why you broke up with him. This is not to say you did anything wrong, because we all have emotional triggers, but it might just correct any misunderstandings and allows him to stop hurting you.

@Jame93
Aqua lady. I’m curious about your placements. I’m curious because you said you’re a typical Aquarian, but Aquarian’s are famous or infamous for their ability to detach. In the end, he decided to move to another country. Maybe his behaviour changed because a relationship wasn’t in his plans or maybe the relationship was in the other country. You may never find out, but why waste your energy on someone that isn’t here for you today?

Agree, it’s not an Aquarian thing.

Speechless