well, i've been a christian most of my life but i've always kinda thought that there was maybe more to things. always been interested in esoteric stuff i guess.
i've reached a point in my life now where i don't know whether i believe it or not. i'm confused, i feel guilty, angry, upset. it's hard to let go of something you've lived with for so long.
don't really know where i'm going with this!
long story short - i've got 2 kids from my first marriage, my husband died just over 2 years ago. he was a christian and so have i been up until now. my current partner is not a christian, which may have something to do with it. but i've felt increasingly isolated from my church for a long time now, over 18 months. do the math, they didn't bother much after my husband died. so i'm bringing up 2 young kids, i feel i owe it to them to take them to church coz of their dad, but i hate it every time i go. the people are rubbish there and it's getting all a bit fire and brimstone. i'm not the only one who feels this about the church either, so i don't think it's just a personal thing.
as a side point, my horoscope for this year indicates a massive shift in my belief system, which is obviously true from what i've just said! but i'm kinda scared, don't know what to do.
any insight would be good, thanks