Thank you so much for all your help, Blmoon! Blessings to you.
Best posts made by NovusDies
Latest posts made by NovusDies
RE: Did my partner cheat on me?
Thank you so much! I think I have found a way of getting the house in my name only. He will not like it, as he will feel insecure and that I am rejecting him. I DO need him to help me with the loan, and originally he said that he had no interest in being on the Title. Now he views it as part of my commitment to him in our relationship.
I will privately ask the settlement agent if it’s possible to have the house transferred back in to my name after settlement with my brother. I think as long as I pay the stamp duty (a lot of money, but worth it), it’s possible. Before signing the deed with my brother, I would ask the lawyer (she is my lawyer) to draw up something stating that within 6 months the house will be transferred into my name again as sole owner. And that within that six-month period, we would have a deed drawn up that stated that I am liable for loan repayments (so my partner is also protected). It would also function as a type of pre-nup to protect my asset, too.
Today he mentioned marriage. It is something I have thought about before, but I do not think we are quite there yet. I feel that I need to have that sense of standing on my own two feet first. With him by my side, not him carrying me. As you said, I need to feel safe, and that I am my own source of protection. It would make me feel more grounded. I also feel that our love needs to mature and deepen more. I pray that, if the settlement agent and lawyer say that my action plan above is actually possible, he doesn’t interpret it as rejection in the extreme.
I am concerned about my brother. I thought he would leave me alone after getting his money. Thank you again.
RE: Did my partner cheat on me?
Thank you very much for your reading. Yes, you helped me at length regarding my brother. I wanted to buy his share of the house my mother left us. The situation with him deteriorated in the worst possible way, with a total breakdown of the relationship and communication. He revealed a very ugly side that I had not seen before. We agreed on the terms, but he kept getting greedier and wanting more, until he threatened to sue me to force the sale of the house. It’s the house my partner and I are buying.
I do not have any evidence of my partner’s infidelity. He let slip that he and his ex had spoken. Last night we spoke at length (I read your message this morning, as I am in Australia), and I went to bed believing what he had told me. That day and the previous one he had lied to me about speaking to her. It was clear to me that he was lying, and he could not convince me otherwise. This caused me to fear the worst. His manner was different last night. He seemed to be telling the truth. Spirit’s message, however, caused me to have doubts.
I was unable to get a loan for the house myself. My partner offered simply to act as guarantor, but banks in Australia don’t do that anymore. He then offered to take out the loan, which I would have paid off myself, with the house in my name only. We would have had a legal document drawn up. Unfortunately, the banks frown upon “borrowers of convenience” (even parents) and require that the principal borrower appears on the Title Deed with a share of at least 20% in the property. So we agreed that he would own 25%, and we would pay off half the loan each. Believe me, if there were another way, I would not have him on the Title. (After living together for two years, he will be entitled to 50% anyway.)
We are to sign the papers on September 3rd!
If I had solid proof that John had cheated, I would leave him, and probably lose the house. He helped me get a job where he works, so I would probably lose my current source of income, too.
I have spoken openly to him about needing to feel financially independent and safe, in case our relationship breaks down. I said that I was afraid of finding myself in the same situation as the one I’m in with my brother, except with him instead. It's not something I anticipated, but it's always a possibility.
Everything you wrote about me is accurate. I am working in a remote area, therefore the pay is very good. I don’t know how long the job will last, but I am trying to save as much money as I can. I want to open a yoga studio in my father’s art studio on the family property, as that feels to me like it will be my safety net. That will be my means of “escape”, should I need one.
Our relationship certainly has its challenges, but there are a lot of plusses, too. I know he has trust and abandonment issues. What did you mean by, “Emotions are in the way and he knows how to stir the pot. Because it weakens you in a way that serves him” and “But you do need to want more right now.”?
Thank you so much for conveying my mother’s messages. She would often call me a “smart cookie”.
Did my partner cheat on me?
May I have a reading, please? I have asked my partner directly whether he cheated, after he let something slip. What ensued was an extremely long string of contradictions. He said that his ex-girlfriend called him up last Christmas, and he told her that he is with me now. My gut instinct tells me that much more than that happened, and that he is lying through his teeth. At the time I was out of the country. He keeps on contradicting himself. We live together and are about to buy a house. Please help me!
May I have a reading about my new relationship, please?
I have been in an exclusive relationship with a man called John for a month. We get along extremely well and there is definitely long-term potential, but this evening a conversation caused me to have some misgivings. Is there anything I need to know or that you could tell me about this relationship / man, please?
RE: Blmoon, please help. Having trouble with my brother.
If possible I would like an update on this situation, please. In the end I made an offer to my brother to buy his half of the house, which he immediately accepted and confirmed in writing. We were going to get a deed drawn up by my lawyer. I suggested he contact his lawyer friend to work out a detail, but when three weeks had passed, I knew he was scheming up something. In fact, he sent me a long email in which he said that he wanted $50,000 more than the amount I had offered and he had accepted. He based this decision on the fact that when he said yes immediately, I replied, "Really?". To him that "Really?" meant that I was willing to pay more. He threatened to take me to court. Even though he doesn't seem to comprehend that we would have to sell the house simply in order to pay the legal fees. We have now reached an impasse as I didn't bother to reply to his email. I want nothing to do with him. I had to see him at his son's engagement party. He continues to be passive aggressive and manipulative, all the while spitting out how much he loves me. It makes me sick to the stomach. I do not feel at ease in the house, as every time I come home I expect to see his car in the driveway. I have also fallen into a slump with my business because of the sense of uncertainly regarding the house. I am picking that up again now, but have lost time. I feel he doesn't have the courage to actually go through with any legal action, but of course I can't be 100% certain.
Could you please tell me whether you feel he is scheming up anything else? I remember that the overall conclusion previously was that everything would work out in the end, but I would still like confirmation, please.
RE: Need help with love or relationships?
Thank you. Believe me, I am working on myself and have done a lot of soul searching. Some of my armour has already fallen away. I’m certainly not looking for anyone to save me; I don’t believe in that. What I meant by “pushing past my initial awkwardness” was that today, especially in a society in which online dating seems to be the main way to meet someone, people have become very disposable. The few dates I’ve been on, if the man said or did anything awkward, I cut him some slack. People don’t seem to be willing to do that anymore. It’s one strike and you’re out. I suppose with the right man that wouldn’t happen. I did meet someone I really liked, but he stopped contacting me. I’m not sure why, but I assumed it was a case of what I just described. Your suggestion of focusing more on the other person is a good idea.
RE: Need help with love or relationships?
I've taken some time to reflect on whether I really want someone in my life. I do, but I admit that I'm very guarded because of recent events (a distressing situation that is still not over). It's hard to take the armour off and put it back on again when necessary, so I wear it all the time. Plus, I'm not used to dating after being away from the scene for so long. It all feels foreign to me. I want someone who will push beyond my initial awkwardness, so I can just surrender into love.