Dear Candis, I could not agree if you more. But I have to give credits to the other cancer man out there. I know that not all Cancer is the same. We are most probably the few unlucky ones. Heh
My cancer man is a manipulator of feelings as well. He is really suspicious and think that everyone is out to harm him and his family. It was an innocent "sent wrongly text message" originally to my auntie but it ended to her mum. He went totally unirrational and accuse me of doing small little acts behind his back to his mum! And before he confronted me.. he went into his disappearence act. He ignores msges I sent out. He didn't give me a slightest sign of hint. He just choose to the leave the clueless me standing alone wondering what had happen. When I asked him, he was relunctant to talk. But when he's ready to crawl out from his shell to confront me.. Oh man! He had already conjure up this whole ridiculous story on how I've scheme and tested him!
He really caught me off guard. And his accusations are out of the world, beyond my understanding. Despite me asking for numerous time to meet and sort out the problems.. he choose to ignore. He just throws all his anger and accusations at me over texts and never give me a chance to explain. When I refuse to owe up to what I've never did, he thinks that I'm finding excuses for myself. Then he portray himself as a VICTIM, saying how he has finally see my true colours and he has place his trust wrongly on me. HUH? What a drama king! When I want to talk further.. guess what he do? He went crawling back to his shell?! WTF!
It was really difficult for me to come to conclusion that someone who seems so simple minded, loving and trusting could turns so unreasonable to an extend of sounding abit insane. I can understand that he values his family alot.. But this is too much for me to handle. Any issues that is it related to his family, he'll become really defensive! He's also thinks in a complex manner. If he had already confirmed that u have something bad up on your sleeves, no matter what you do or say will not change his mind. Rather, when any slightest thing crops up and he finds a link to his suspicion.. he'll torture you with his silence treatment.
Anyway, I think hiding and not facing the problem is the most cowardly act that anyone could have. And if he needs his own time to think, he got to tell me that! Anyway, that was the last straw.
If a man cannot take care of your emotion needs and is emotionally selfish... RUN!! No matter how nice he had treated you or how much you all had gone through. This man is not willing to risk his heart there to loves you. He protect his dear heart so dearly that he flees at any possible threats. And before you knew, you are there standing alone against the cold winter.
I still got burned from all his accusations. But I'm glad that I've seen this at an early stage.
I started this topic thinking that I'd find some hope or would gain more insights abt this cancer man. Then I find myself ridiculous. Why do I have to go through strangers from forums just to understand him? It was already a screwed up relationship in the beginning.
So if anyone who is reading this find themselves in the same shoe as I am. Well, maybe it's time to ask yourself if it is worth risking your heart for someone who will always have hesistation and is emotionally unavailable for you.