Ooops, I forgot one... in this order:
Ace of Cups, Death, 10 of Swords, Page of Swords, 9 of Wands, 5 of Wands, and 8 Strength.
My partner and I broke up recently (it's been "dead' for a while, however) and still live together. I have had a very hard time letting go and accepting that it's over. She has stated that she wants to just be friends and work on building a strong friendship since we both skipped that step. I agree with her that friendship is best and focusing on a friendship is a good idea right now because we both need to work on ourselves separately.
I am having a difficult time going from A to B. I cannot just be "friends" with out space, etc. It's difficult because we're living together. At any rate, I still get insecure about things (there are a lot of trust issues in our relationship; I with her, not her with me), and I "react." I question. I am having a difficult time just being friends, as I'm still in this "transitional" (grief?) stage. She does not understand and seems to be doing ok with the breakup. I expressed my surprise to her at how "well" she's doing, and she stated she's had "2 months to mull things over" (We were physically apart for 2 months). I am still shocked at how "easy" it's been for her, as she appears to be doing just fine.
I drew a few cards regarding her and I and the cards displayed were:
Ace of Cups, Death, 10 of Swords, 9 of Wands, 5 of Wands, and 8 Strength.
I am confused about the reading, as well, first off, the Ace of Cups to me usually means "Loving oneself and caring/nurturing oneself... ie, self-care" but then I saw "Death" which keeps popping up over and over for the woman and I, but then "10 of swords" beside it? Don't Death + 10 of Swords usually mean ACTUAL death?
At any rate, taking out the literal meaning for a second, does this mean that her and I are actually over? And the 9 of Wands requiring/requesting "courage," ie: courage to walk away/heal? Then 5 of wands conflicting feels? ie, indecision... having a hard time walking away. Then 8 Strength- I assume the outcome? ie, if I do "X, Y, and Z" (what all these cards are saying) "Strength" will be the result?
How would you interpret this reading?