First of all dont apologize anymore, they loooooooove it when you say your sorry. Secound, from experience ( Ive been with one for 3 years), I would bet anything that he's putting you through one of the famous cancer tests, lol. See when he tells you not to call him anymore, he wants to see whats your reaction. He wants to see if you really care about it enough to beg him not to leave you and to keep calling him. Its like the opposite, when he tells you I dont want to talk to you anymore, he doesnt really mean it, trust me you would know. You have to make him think. Play along no mater how much it bothers you. He tells you dont call, you dont. then when he does call you and he will, tell him " I thought you said not to call you'. He needs you for support and if he feels like he can trust you, he's not going anywhere!!! A word of advice though, the divorce he is going through is going to take him a long, long, long time to get over. So if you have patience your going to need it. He will talk about it over and over again. But when he does stop talking about it then you need to worry. Pay attention to every word he tells you because they have a way of sending you hidden messages when they speak. For ex: If he tells you " I wish my friends would stop calling me so much", he is probably trying to tell you that no one has called him in awhile. The more you get to know him, the more you will pick up on these things. Most of the time they forget what they say by the next day, so pay attention and take lots of notes,lol. What sign are you by the way?
Best posts made by Noodles3192
Latest posts made by Noodles3192
RE: Cancer men... I'm so confused!
RE: Cancer men... I'm so confused!
OMG I think that me finding this forum was destiny, like a sign. I like all of you ofcourse, have been dating a Cancer man, on and off, for 3 years. Everything that all of you have said about the Cancer man is true, so I will not write about it, you guys already know it. I guess he's a classic, lol. Now, this is the part where I too can say " Cancer men, im so confused".
Ok here goes: When i met my Cancer man 3 years ago, I was not interested in him at all. Im the manager at a dental office, and that day he came into his regular dental appt. After his visit was over, later that day , he started calling the office over and over again, asking to speak to me. Now honestly we see so many patients there that I didnt even remember his face. So, the calls were now getting annoying, and to get him off my back, I gave him my phone number. Later, that night he called me, we talked on the phone for about a week and then we decided to meet up. That's were my whole entire life changed forever.
That evening, that we were going to meet at his home, I suddenly experienced the worst migraine one can ever imagine. At one point it was so bad that I called him and told him I couldn't make it. But he told me to wait awhile and see how I felt because he really wanted to see me that night. I later realized that it was my subconcious telling me not to go. So ofcourse, I did feel better and went to his house. This might seem like a long story, but I cant leave any details out, trust me you will want to read about what hapends next !! When I arrived at his house, ofcourse there was no dinner in the works, he took me straight to his bedroom. Now ofcourse, a Libra that I am, this made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. I immediately knew what his intentions were, but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt. So he gave me this lame story about how he had recently gone through a breakup and his ex is pregnant, but that he suspected the child wasn't his. He went on to say that he was waiting for a DNA test and that pending the results, that would determine the path he was going to take in his life because if he was the father, he would marry the mother even though he didn't love her, blah, blah, blah. He asked me if this mattered at all to me and if i was willing to still date him in the mean time. He was soooo credible, he looked me straight in my eyes when he told me this. How could I have ever imagined it was all a game. I told him it didn't matter and that if he was the father we would work something out when the time came. Almost immediately after my response, he came on to me and so I didnt want to be rude so I figured I would just kiss him But when we did kiss, I was caught up in his web with no escape. He was so romantic and passionate and loving that I just couldn't resist and the inevitable happend. I blame myself sometimes for being too weak, but it's human nature. i had been single for more than a year and he just pushed all the right buttons. Everything was like a dream. I went to heaven and back and far as I was concerned he was " the one". But this beautiful dream quickly turned into a nightmare when I learned that his baby mama drama story was a lie that he made up to cover up the truth. That he was seeing someone else at the same time as me!!!
Ofcourse no lie can be kept secret forever, and it finally blew up in his face one day when she and I confronted him. Basically, he kept going back and forth between me and her for about a year.Yeah hews that good that he fooled us both (the ex and me). Eventually I just couldn't take all the harrasing phone calls, the drama, and the stress and we split for good. Six months passed not a call, email or text from him. Then one day when I least expected it, he called my office ( he had no other means to contact me and this was urgent). He told me how sorry he was for everything, that his life with her was hell, that he should of never let me go, that he was so depressed he was thinking of suicide, blah, blah, blah. A caring, and loving person that I am I took this quite serious.I went to see him after work and he was crying on my shoulder, he had found out that she was married and he was just a boy toy!! Karma is a bc isnt it!! Physically he didnt look so well, he was very thin, had dark eye circles and so I knew things weren't good at all and that there was some truth to this new story of his. So we decided that we should be friends because he really needed the support and understanding that I had once given him and so i agreed to be " just friends". The next day, I called him in the morning to make sure he was ok, but no answer, I left a VM no answer, I texted no answer. Then finally around 6pm, I get a phone call he was in the ER because he wasn't feeling well. He told me he needed me to be there with him because he felt very lonely. So ofcourse, I went to see him. While I was there, he went to the bathroom more that 6 times so at first I thought he was really sick. The last time he went to the bathromm he spent nearly 15 min in there until finally I was so concerned that I went to the mens room. As I was nearing the men's room door, I heard him talking. At first I thought it was with someone from the rest room, but then it hit me. He was talking to HER!! I calmed myself and went back to the hallway and said to myself " You are smarter than this and you need to play it cool". Wait it gets better. He comes out and he tells me how sick he felt and while we are talking his cell rings. I asked him who it was and he froze. He told me its her and she's on her way over here you should leave. I was so dumbfounded, confused, enraged, hurt, etc that I couldn't say a word. I just turned around and left. As i was sitting in the taxi, something just struck me and I told the driver lets go back, turn around and so he did. Only 15 mins or so had passed so he was still there. I approached him and I told him " This s ends tonight, I want to meet her and ask her what the hell is going on". Now he really got sick and turned pale white, I thought he was going to pass out but he didnt. She arrived shortly after and didnt say a word to me. She asked him to tell me why he was there in the ER. So I waited for his answer. Nothing so she willingly volunteered to elaborate on the situation. She said " He is here because we had been together all day and we were about to have sex when I noticed something on his penis and I told him to check it out". Again, confusing struck me. were they together again? Why did he call me to go to the ER? She didnt looklike they were having problems, what the f*** was going on here. Ofcourse at this point, my well known patience had flown out the window a long time ago. I had reached my limit of drama for one lifetime. We didnt speak again for another 3 months. This time the emails and IM's started. He was afraid if he'd call me I would hang up. They were seeing each ther but things became so intensebetween them that it reached the level of domestic violence. See I was the more laid back type but she was not having it and was much more youngerand immature than I. She put him in jail 3 times and he just finished a year lng long ordeal with the legal system trying to convince the judges that she was physically abusing him too.
Finally the end, we have been seeing each throughout this entire past year steadily. They are nolongerogether, she despises him deeply and can't forgive him I don't blamer her. But I feel that after everything we went through there must be a reason why he keeps coming back to me. And here is the question I wish someone could answer me" If they hate eachother so much, why does he constantly talk about her every day? How he wants revenge, he willnever forgive her, how hurt he is, how he will neer trust woman again. I LOVE this man with all my heart I must confess, and for me to say this after everything he put me through, and then some,it must be love. I know he has alot of hurt and grief to deal with. His mother and closest brother both passed away within thepast 2 years and then the jail and court just might be too much for him. But he wont let me go, I have told him we should go apart for awhile but he says he cant live without me. Is it some sort of mental manipulation or does he really love me? And why can't he stop talking about HER, is he obsessed, crazy, depressed, what? Im desperate for an answer, something has got to give!!
Bottom line if you love your Cancer man deeply, truly, dont give up because the one thing we can all aree on is that when you love a Cancer man, you can NEVER forget him, whether for the good or bad.
Stay Tuned - To be continued...............
Sorry for the typos twards the end, my hands were tired, lol.