Thank you for the reading! I really appreciate the fact that you take so much of your time for helping others. I'll try to comment every card.
1. Past (Isolation): I've always been afraid of failing and it came even more true when I started university. Before I took the test, there was a lot of movement in my life. I was living with my brother, and he had to definitely leave the country for a job opportunity. So I was trying to find a new place, and I was preparing for the exam at the same time.
2. Present/current state of things (Moon in Earth- Responsability): Honestly, I lost much more than I win. I have a part time job in a hospital that is not rewarding (a job that would have been a great experience if I didn't fail even if it's not directly related to OT). Socially, I lost several acquaintances. My love life is non-existent. I'm emotionnally and physically exhausted. Financially, I have to start over everything; education is expensive and I have to pay my too expensive rent. Nothing positive has happened to me since I was forced to leave the program. Every aspect if my life is a disaster,
3. Future (Full Air in Moon - Solution) : I hope that the solution will be found rapidly - I've been waiting for opportunities. I'm not lucky... Luck is really what's missing.
4. Past (Two Paths): Yes, I had to make a choice. At the time, I could have stayed at my mother's place, but I decided to leave. My family didn't fully support my decision. So I started to feel alone,and ultimately, I regretted my choice. I was accepted in every university, but I decided that I wanted to go at one place specifically... It has probably been my biggest mistake.
5. Present (Confession) : The person I'd like to meet -the co-chair of the program - knows everything about my situation. I didn't share everything with my family however. I know how deceitful they will be. I'm also aware that they will point my decisions, and how things would have been better if I stayed home.
6. Future (Pitcher): A natural healer? It sounds very vague to me. But I would define it as any health professional who does not treat 'pharmaceutically' patients. I have to look at the possibilities, but with my GPA, which decreased since I've been in OT -especially with the failing course- I don't think I could start something...
7. Advice from the Goddess (Venus): Is Venus saying that my profession will be what I want? OR it is saying that I should follow my passions? Because honestly, I don't feel passionate about anything. Sure, I want to be an OT and I know that I'd be a great health professional, but it isn't what I would call a passion. And I don't think I'd be able to get what I want. The faculty made it clear that they won't take me back. The co-chair suggested that I should finish another degree to get a chance to be readmitted in the master degree. That place would not be garanteed however, but I can no longer take such financially risks. So I'm really, really stuck.
You don't have to apologize!! I like discussing my issues with others because it gives me other ways to see them. The cards are telling me to keep doing what I want, to continue to pursue my 'goals'? It is really what I personally want, but I can't do much more right now...
I should write an email to the co-chair. She wasn't my advisor. I wanted my advisor to help me, but she was even more lost than I was.
Thank you so much for all your support, EIAI. It does help me. You can't even imagine how I appreciate!