Thank you for your beautiful words!

The co-chair of the program answered me back earlier today! She would be willing to meet for an hour in two weeks. I'm glad she's taking some her time to help me. But on the other hand, I'm not sure of what I could ask her. I have to come with a plan ... : /

I sent you an email. Did you read it?

"You know what I figured just now? That there is more than one way to help, to heal, people.

Psychologist, therapist, even entering in the political sphere can enable you to help people."

Psychology would interest me, but in order to practice as a clinical psychologist, a phD is required. Places are very limited so I would need to get an incredibly high GPA. Politics isn't something that appeals to me... Maybe I have to accept that I will never feel fulfilled professionally.

"Ninii, pick up what you have right now. I know you haven't lost everything. You only think,feel you have."

I have to wait for answers, and then I'll be able to make a decision. (if I get accepted)

"You've even told me " We're young" as encouragement. Now I can only give you the same: We're young, YOU'RE YOUNG; this isn't the last of anything. If you truly want it than don't let this bethe ending to this chapter"

We have our entire life to find love. Education, having a degree... Yes, we can go back at school at any time, but learning and school commitment get harder as we get older , There're so many unexpected events that can happen during a lifetime such as birth, depression, money issues, ...

If I forget about OT, I can't keep that hope that I will be able to comeback in few years. Realistically chances that it would happen are very, very tiny. I'd like to discuss with my co-chair, since she doesn't have a typical professional path, but I think she just doesn't want to see me!

Thank you so much, EIAI. You're truly helping me. You're open to dialogue, and that's really helping me since it gives me a different perspective.

"What was your original intent for going to college for? Was it simply to leave your home?"

University was just the next step. It wasn't like I wanted to do something else than being at school. I was accepted in a very prestigious university, so I thought I could take that chance (or risk).

That's true: things were moving too fast. But it's not like I've been moving at all ; I'm now starting over. I lost time and money and energy... everything.

"You have a gift for healing, and I don't doubt it. The Nature card presents itself as you once again. Here I think it shows you still detached. Maybe you don't have a passion, but perhaps it's because once again you decided rapidly on what you were going to do. This card actually acknowledges nursing, or in another healing profession for you to follow. They even suggest that you try how you do with animals (veterinary or the like) and plants. Plants especially they advise you to be with more."

Somehow I always knew that I'd be good at working with people, and the medical field seems perfect for that. But it's very difficult to be admitted in the med faculty (nutrition, physical/occupational/speech therapy, pharmacy, dentistry, ect). That's the problem. Now that I've been kicked out, I can't go back to where I was to choose something that is health related. My only chance to return in my program is to get the permission to do a remedial work or supplemental exam, which is almost completely impossible. I wrote a message to the co-chair few days ago, and I've not received an answer yet...

I'm thinking about applying on law school because it requires a lower GPA. It's completely opposite to healing (even opposite to my personality), but I won't continue studying on something that is pointless... I've been spending too much time and money, I need to be pragmatic. Other options would be to apply on education...

Angels are trying to tell me something? I don't know what to think about that. I met a medium who was communicating with my spiritual guide few months ago, and he said that I wasn't listening to my intuition and that I wasn't paying any attention to flashbacks. The medium gave me many exercices to do (breathing techniques, prayer, meditation technique)... I stopped doing all those things because I didn't see any difference. Actually, I feel that things were getting worse! My spiritual guide told me as a message that I will be able to do a supplemental exam if I re-contact the counselor I was meeting in that university. That man has the solution (it wasn't really clear). I called him as soon as I could but I learnt that he can't see me because I'm no longer studying in that university.

Another medium told me that a woman (and I think that he was refering to my co-chair) will help me. I wrote her a message and no answer...

Nothing is working the way it should. What will be your advice, EIAI?

"Love is for today.....Did I not selflessly give you my time and compassion? Again you are not seeing it by focusing on this little issues and blowing them up to larger than they really are."

I see what you means, and I'd like to thank you again! But Im also looking (waiting) for a romantic relationship...

"if it does not come natural and you have to force and struggle, it nay not be the best path."

You may be right. But I assure you that I need to do effort on everything, and nothing comes naturally... I hope it does not mean that I should leave school or even life! I know that I had all the required qualities to be good on what I was studying, but somehow, I wasn't lucky. I feel that I didn't get what I deserved.

What do you think I should do to orientate more positively my attitude and thoughts?

Hello Acceptance Faith,

Thank you so much. I didn't expect to get the reading as soon as that.

"number one what is your focus?" : I would say that the most important thing is actually education. I'm not able to focus right now. I don't even know why I failed and I don't know what are my options. I'm 'depressed' and tired.

So your message pointed out many times the term "choice". Well, I don't feel I have a choice! I didn't choose to withdraw from the program and to study on something that doesn't have any appeal to me! If I could choose, I would go back in my inital program... I feel stuck.

I sound negative, but I can't look at my life without being disappointed. I can't stop thinking that things should have been less complicated.

So I guess that love is not for today! : ( ... I have bigger issues unfortunately.

Patience is very difficult. I already have the feeling that I've been waiting for good things to happen. I have to change my attitude, which is not easy because I feel that my life isn't what it's supposed to be. I can't allow myself to lose time and money anymore. I'd like to find something (a profession) that I love, but it seems impossible... I don't appreciate all the courses I'm taking this semester, so being dedicated is difficult on these moments. I wasn't supposed to learn those things, I was almost graduating...

I'd like to go back in time, but I can't. Instead, I have a meeting with a counsellor tomorrow. I hope this person will give me some suggestions for my professional life.

I'll try to give other feedback another day.

just to be sure... Is that reading for me, or for someone else

(if it was for me, i'll answer after)

I'm probably too late! : / If you have time during the week or even after, your help will be welcome!

... So I'll try to explain my situation. I'm 22, I was forced to withdraw from the program where I was studying because I failed a crucial exam. I'm now doing something that I don't appreciate. Nothing is positive in my life: I don't have a boyfriend, I don't do as great as I would like in school, my social life is very limited, my job is not rewarding, ect.

So, when will my life finally get better? and/or What should I do to fix my life?

Thank you!

Thank you for the reading! I really appreciate the fact that you take so much of your time for helping others. I'll try to comment every card.

1. Past (Isolation): I've always been afraid of failing and it came even more true when I started university. Before I took the test, there was a lot of movement in my life. I was living with my brother, and he had to definitely leave the country for a job opportunity. So I was trying to find a new place, and I was preparing for the exam at the same time.

2. Present/current state of things (Moon in Earth- Responsability): Honestly, I lost much more than I win. I have a part time job in a hospital that is not rewarding (a job that would have been a great experience if I didn't fail even if it's not directly related to OT). Socially, I lost several acquaintances. My love life is non-existent. I'm emotionnally and physically exhausted. Financially, I have to start over everything; education is expensive and I have to pay my too expensive rent. Nothing positive has happened to me since I was forced to leave the program. Every aspect if my life is a disaster,

3. Future (Full Air in Moon - Solution) : I hope that the solution will be found rapidly - I've been waiting for opportunities. I'm not lucky... Luck is really what's missing.

4. Past (Two Paths): Yes, I had to make a choice. At the time, I could have stayed at my mother's place, but I decided to leave. My family didn't fully support my decision. So I started to feel alone,and ultimately, I regretted my choice. I was accepted in every university, but I decided that I wanted to go at one place specifically... It has probably been my biggest mistake.

5. Present (Confession) : The person I'd like to meet -the co-chair of the program - knows everything about my situation. I didn't share everything with my family however. I know how deceitful they will be. I'm also aware that they will point my decisions, and how things would have been better if I stayed home.

6. Future (Pitcher): A natural healer? It sounds very vague to me. But I would define it as any health professional who does not treat 'pharmaceutically' patients. I have to look at the possibilities, but with my GPA, which decreased since I've been in OT -especially with the failing course- I don't think I could start something...

7. Advice from the Goddess (Venus): Is Venus saying that my profession will be what I want? OR it is saying that I should follow my passions? Because honestly, I don't feel passionate about anything. Sure, I want to be an OT and I know that I'd be a great health professional, but it isn't what I would call a passion. And I don't think I'd be able to get what I want. The faculty made it clear that they won't take me back. The co-chair suggested that I should finish another degree to get a chance to be readmitted in the master degree. That place would not be garanteed however, but I can no longer take such financially risks. So I'm really, really stuck.

You don't have to apologize!! I like discussing my issues with others because it gives me other ways to see them. The cards are telling me to keep doing what I want, to continue to pursue my 'goals'? It is really what I personally want, but I can't do much more right now...

I should write an email to the co-chair. She wasn't my advisor. I wanted my advisor to help me, but she was even more lost than I was.

Thank you so much for all your support, EIAI. It does help me. You can't even imagine how I appreciate!

Thank you Voply!!

I don't understand either how this reading (I thought we say "draw"! sorry) could be bad. She saw the Queen of Pentacles as a morose woman who is not able to see all the things that she already possesses.

I have been spending so much time by myself already.. I think that the Hermit is a very slow card... : / It is just that I don't see opportunities right now. If I had something to hold on, I will surely feel better.

Your french is pretty good! Merci beaucoup pour tes voeux!

"And less than 2 years, I would had have my diploma… : ‘(" That sentence does not make any sense!

I wanted to say that in less than 2 years, I would have had my master in OT.

(hope it's better... and i'm so sorry for all my little mistakes!)