I guess no matter how great of a guy he was, im still a victim of the vicious cycle that all of the others who dated or fell in love with one is in.

I've moved on physically and there is no doubt that I can move on emotionally. The only reason I haven't is because I haven't allowed myself to because I know he's not totally over us and neither am I. I just wanna be sure the old chapter is closed before I open a new one

I understand Taurus7 and just for the recod, in no way am I trying to justify what he did. It hurt my kids and I a lot. However I wonder is there a reality in a failed relationship ever being renewed.

Hi taurus 7. I appreciate your response. It would be very hard to sum up 8 years and all of the coherent factors that leave my heart in limbo. I can share with u the most important ones. One, he was my bff. We were friends first. His behavior was completely irratic. It even caught the attention of his parents. When we cross paths the feelin of sadness between us is so amazing that others pick up on it, however those feelins turn bitter because we both try to put up a fascade like breaking up was a great decision and neither of us want to admit that it was the stupidest.

my sons father and I broke up last year afterspending 8 years of our lives together. Our son is 3. We had a great run but after we were engaged and prepping to have our son, my mr right transformed into mr wrong. I waited 5 years and waited patiently to progress into the kind of commited relationship that I desired for myself. He broke my heart and eventually I found someone new to replace him. He came back about 8 months after our break up and pleaded that I should drop my new situation to mend things with him. I had many doubts but I still allowed my ex to destroy my new relationship and afterwardsh he went back home to the lady whom we had broken up over. I was devastated again. I managed ro recover the relationship that my ex attempted to destroy and I'm somewhat happy yrt theres this underlying factor. My children. I know that it would be more beneficial for them if my ex ever came home. Ive given up hope because Its hard to imagine rekindling a flame that's been out for a year. Im just wondering what I should do. Btw my ex is a cancer and im a taurus.

yes he had two children and he was open enough to express his love for them and his sadness regarding his not playin an active role in their lives. He had me when on xmas he cried because he couldnt spend it with them. He said said that one lady was a cheater and the other insecure. I figured I should be fine because I was neither of those things. He pursued me heavily and seemed far too sincere to be anything other than a gentleman.

Ive come to accept him for the jerk that he is. It took a year to get over him and all of the pain that he brought in with him. I have no regrets other than having a child by him, as I see the pain and disappointment it has brought my son. It hurts deeply to know that there is no remedy for that part. I kinda sorta believe in astrology to some degree but at the end of the day its always those little things about us that makes us unique. Astrology told me that we were a match made in heaven and that cancers was loyal...no offense but im still waiting to meet one of those and I know ALOT! lol. Either way i wish him the best and although its hard to accept defeat, i would like to shake the hand of the youngster that took him off my hands. she has no idea what shes in for after the fun run out and the responsibility filter in. he'll lean on her till she break then leave. smh. I was convinced that the 1st 2 childrens mother were the reason they were single mothers. I totally understand why they both left the state he was in and went to live elsewhere. lbvs

Cancerman, nobody can explain this one. His family was even amazed by his actions. We built a home filled with all the things that he loved which was complimentary to the loving relationship that we had. He walked away from everything. Toward the end he expressed discontent with everything. My job wasnt good enuff. He hated my fam. He hated my weight (mind u, I worked out and stayed in shape for him.) My family got on his nerve (mind , my fam thought he was a jerk and stayed away.) He said bein a family put him in debt. Ha! I paid half on everything. Furnished our home and purchased even his clothes. Im a realist so I understand ppl fall out of love but the fact that he left for a lady that doesnt possess any of the qualities that I do or that he expressed is both hurtful and amazing. She doesnt work. They live in a boarding house. He left his home for a roo with a chick with 2 kids.

Like many of the other women whose posts Ive read I am also a victim of a horrible rollercoaster ride with a crazy cancer and I want to get off. I had dated my cancer for years. everything seemed to be quite romantic and we both seemed like the perfect match. I loved him and as far as i knew he loved me too. Id say things between us were serious for him as soon as we were in a relationship, however, i had old friends and attachemnts so I did not take things as seriously. However I did love him and I made it a point to make him aware of this. I had been in love before and it ended badly so i was determined to take my time and create a comfortable relationship for us both. I trusted him and for good reason. I had totally went out my norm and dated the type i wouldve never gone for. I knew that with a little building up, that i may have finally found myself a winner. As time progressed the tables shifted a lil bit and before I knew it, i was the one head over heels and all of a sudden Mr. Perfect made a turn for the worst. He got mixed up in a social group and started attending events where he would cheat. By this time I was in love, pregnant and wearing his engagement ring. This is 5 or 6 years down the line. He totally abandoned me when i was pregnant but then apologized so sincerely once we had our son and told me that he, my daughter, son and I would be the family that we planned and he thanked me for saving him from heading down the path in which he was headed. We were able to live together for 2 years tops before i kicked his disrespectful behind out for spending the night out on our anniversary because he'd spent the night out. It didnt end there. Now we fight all of the time over my son. He moved out and was in a new relationship and living with another woman within a week. It took months for me to even get my appetite back and once i did it was only because i had found my new sweetheart. He saw that I was happy and asked to come back home. once i ruined my new relationship for him he told me that he wasnt coming home although it was his begging that even made me consider it. We cant talk because hes constantly blaming me for putting him out. never mind that he was a cheater that treated me badly. I didnt write him off before 8 years of misery because this man turned hot to cold over night. i really thought it was a faze. its like i was dealing with a Mr Right for years until this damn alien took over. now nothing he says or does make sense. its like im dealing with a complete stranger. Today, im in a decent relationship but i cant lie, i still wait on my Mr Right to come back. Will he ever? If anyone can give me some insight, please do. Im so hurt behind all of this and im trying to heal. we have a child suffering a lot because of the messwe are going through.