This is a very important question that needs to be fully debated. I believe there are better answers than this question.

Answers provided do not address the history of this human behavior. Why did God find it right to give his children (men) such as King David, etc, more wives? Why did God allow Abraham to have a child from another woman when He knew Sara would still provide him with one? Why do Muslims have more than one wife?

I also tend to think that there is some chemical composition in men as compared to women that influence this type of behavior in some men.

I noticed that noticed that most of the contributions to this important (Why do women accept married men?) came from women and infact “married women” who, expectedly, would give same opinions which are not balanced enough to fully provide a clear understanding of this human behavior.

In my view, we also need contributions from those who have studied human science, women who have been involved with married men, married men who have been involved in another fixed relation for short and long time, men and women in polygamy marriages, etc.

I was grew up with a strong Christian belief of having only one woman in my life and when I got into my first relationship, I have my wife all my life because I believed we were one. There was no decision or action I made in my life that my wife did not know but what I always ended up getting was very opposite hence we parted peacefully. The same happened with my second relationship. Advices I get from men who have maintained their first marriages is that I give too much focus on one woman to the extent that they get too used, stop to appreciate and start to abuse your nature.

I suggest that you get well rounded views to this question which I think can be helpful to those who don’t fully take care of their marriages because they believe once they are married the hard work of nurturing the marriage is over because the partner is now locked up tome and me alone.

Jenever7, your analysis of my situation is so well articulated, I appreciate it. I think as everyone has said, she has taken an advantage of me. I can help her to get employment and advise her to further her education but I will not again spend any cent on her daily needs.

Thank you all again for wise advices.

Thank you Sandran. Sometimes when you are too fixed on a person you don't easily see the risky side of it. I'm seriously considering your views.

Thank you all for your advices.

On Saturday I tried to do what most of you advised me. I decided not to contact her but on Sunday she texted me greeting message. I texted back that I was working hard to stop thinking about her and that she should never contact me again unless she if she changed her mind towards me. She responded by saying that she was hungry. I responded by telling her I had decided to give her space hence I could unfortunately not provide her with food. She responded by accusing me that she did not know that I was very selfish since she said;- “I was aware that this year she lost two important things; the boyfriend and a pregnancy. She added that but within a short time I was pushing for a relationship with her and that now I wanted to pull out and show her my back against her!!!! she said”. When I got this message I was touched and really felt that I should have put my own sister into her situation but at the same time I wondered why she was depending on me for proving food as though she was my woman to be taken care of! The sentence “….. and now you want to show me your back against her….” Even made me more confused.

Today, I did not communicate with her but her friend told me that when I could not favourably respond to her request of providing her food, she sent similar text to her former boyfriend who responded that he had no money to buy her food!

There are some values I see in her and that’s why it pains me that we cannot be involved. When in a good mood, she is charming, friendly, and logical in thinking and communicating, caring and her smiles cheer me up. When she is not in a good mood, she makes me active in mind and texts emotional messages which most of which indirect solicit for sympathy.

Furthermore, I have been touched by her past life endurances. In 1998 she had an operation while in school, last year her close ex-boyfriend cheated on her with her closest friend, this year the company she was working for closed down due to the global financial crisis effects, then she ended a relationship with a boyfriend and later lost the pregnancy. When she openly shared these experiences, I got emotionally touched hence my help but mean while interest and love developed for her. I don’t think she used me but I suppose she took advantage of my opening to support her. Before we met, she had started regularly taking alcohol but when we met she stopped but again she has started.

She I just back off, or give her space? I really don’t know why I have a strong heart liking for her, may be because I also once went through many endurances but with my commitment to education and my smart and hard work I eventually overcame… Please advise me what to do…….

I really appreciate the views and encouragements you all made to my problem with the Cancer lady I have been pursuing. As she does every morning, yesterday she sent me an SMS of morning greetings. I acknowledged by telling her to leave me alone and probably consider her friendship proposal in the future. But today, she still sent me an sms of greetings but did not reply.

To my knowledge, there seems to be some cultural implications here. I originate from Zambia but permanently live in Namibia. In this country, unlike Zambia, tribes a highly divided due to the past colonial set-up which was a strategy by Germans to ensure that the indigenous people are separated to defeat them, hence few years after independence it was un-common that a lady accepted a man from another tribe. Ten years from independence, this trend has, however, gradually changed with a large number of ladies from the tribe of this lady being involved or getting married to men from other tribes or countries but for some it’s still a great barrier.

Whichever, the case, with all your encouragements, I have decided to park and eventually close this job file to help me consider other opportunities. As for the gifts I provided to her, I supported her most when she gave me signs of affiliation and love which fluctuated. I consider them as a gesture of appreciations for the moments we shared together and much more, as a reminder of a role I played in her life. As Taurus, I believe money comes and goes but what is important to me is that I still have my sources of my income; my skills and businesses.

My moving on will now be characterized of my distrust of the next woman I meet. Are there still any trust worthy women on earth or are they all just after using men? Why do unloving and abusive men get more loved and appreciated?

Thank you again for the support.

I have been going after a cancer woman for the past three months. When we met, she had just broke up with her boy friend and only discovered she was carrying his pregnancy. Three weeks later, from the time we met, she got pregnancy pains and called me to take her to the hospital which I did. She unfortunately had a miscarriage and since she was not employed, I paid for her medical expenses and provided all the necessary care!

Our rest of two months has been characterized of clear mixed signals. We kissed twice, hugged several times and went out on two or three occasions with her friends. She requests for what she needs like I am her lover. I bought her silver jewelries, and other gifts but she does not like her friends to know or see the gifts. She now refuses to kiss me and tells me that we are just friends. We never had sex. She feels jealous if any lady tries to be friendly to me she becomes jealous.

Today when I asked her to be open and tell me what she feels about me she said she doesn't love me at all and that she did not know why she felt so. When I suggested to her to then stop seeing each other, she said she would always be my friend and that she always count on me.

My heart if bleeding! For three months I have known her she sparked my heart. Her changing moods made me to be more active. I'm disturbed because I had already put her to my heart and I am now struggling to overcome the pain. I have already arranged for her job in one of my business branches since she has had no job for a year. She is a people's loving and friendly lady. However, for all the gifts I have bought for her and her mother, she has not showed any signs of appreciation.

Can someone with experience of winning Cancer Women advise me what to do; is it true that she really doesn’t love me? Can I work hard to forget about her or to win her back. Please it’s urgent, I need your help.