Hi everyone!! i am cancer woman, cancer rising, aqua moon, venus leo, mars libra, who had an 11 month “situationship” with a virgo man and i wanted to share after reading a bunch of this tread(:
So, kind of a long story so far, but i assume most are. so, taking it all the way back to a year ago (august 2020) i met virgo man (virg sun/ moon/ mercury, venus libra, mars scorp) at the spur of the moment in a completely low point in my life; i felt very unlovable, very insecure, and very worthless in my own person. I was about to give up on dating altogether when i randomly met virgo man online and we started talking. from there, we had an instant instant connection, even through just the phone (virgo man is from my town, but went to college about 3 hours away from me). once we met online (august) we started talking everyday 24/7 until i finally met him in person after about a month and a half of just talking through the phone. during this time though we became very close and very connected; it was if i had always known him from the start. i even remember having conversations with him where we would both say things like “why do i miss you even though ive never met you” or he had told me he loved me within the first two weeks of talking and when i called him out for it, bc i thought it was insane, he would say, “i can tell im going to fall in love with you” and i felt very much the same in all ways and said the same back, just very connected and very close without ever meeting each other. then fast forward to our first meeting (end of sept) and things were amazing, but a few days afterwards he ghosted me and did not talk to me for 5 days. then randomly after this time, he came back and we talked like normal. from there our relationship only got stronger, now we were very close and we were very tied to each other- he frequently told me he loved me (not extremely serious bc it couldnt have been, but he would say it) and i would definitely think it back. then, all is well, and virgo man is coming home for Christmas- we see each other and we hang out (have amazing sex) and all is fine until its not fine, out of nowhere he gets distant and doesnt talk to me very much and then eventually does not talk to me for about 3 days. in this time, i thought our relationship was over, i thought he was done talking to me for good, i thought he was gone, but i always felt this energy pulling us together. i even remember one time crying about him (thinking its over) but saying to myself then why do i feel this energy between us??? and i mean like a very very strong energy between us. and that is all before i ever even found out about twin flames or karmic relationships or anything like that, i just remember feeling like this incredible energy in the universe that he was not gone, and sure enough, 3 days of no contact later, he comes back and we again (slowly) keep talking as normal, eventually building stronger than before (but now at this time he is back at school and i am 3 hours away). then, fast forward about a month down the line (end of january) and virgo man comes to me and tells me that he has to put an end to our connection bc he cannot do a long distance relationship, i said i understand and respect that and i assumed we would stop talking then, but we did not. during this conversation i told him “okay can you stop talking to me bc i like you too much and i dont want to hang on”, but he insisted that he not leave, and so i didnt, and we talked like normal; growing our connection deeper and stronger going forward. then fast forward, maybe another month down the line (febuary), virgo man comes to me and tells me that he is now dating a new girl- at this point i said “okay, i understand and respect that, now stop talking to me?” but again, he did not want to do that. he insisted on still talking everyday and being “friends” - attaining the failure of our relationship to “he cannot do a long distance relationship.” So (as messy and sad as it is/was ) i still talked to virgo man everyday like normal, he didnt want to let me go. and now through this time, our relationship became extremely extremely strong. he would talk about me moving in with him, would joke about marrying me, talk about kid things, talk about our future, tell me things like “hes never felt this way about a person before” or that he could trust me more than anyone hes ever met or that he felt like he couldnt see himself talking about his problems or opening up to anyone else like he can to me. I frequently felt very bad that virgo man was cheating on his gf with me though. i would ask him if he ever felt bad and he would say “uhh i think so” and sometimes we would sext (he would ask me, i never ever asked him) and when i would ask him why hes so nonchalant about cheating on her he would say, “i think the difference between sexting a girl and watching porn is minimal” and even though i would point out that that is not true bc he has feelings for me and we have been intimate in the past, he would write it off. and so anytime during the spring he would be home, i would see him and we would hang out as “friends” (no sex in person, just casual sexting). now, yes ik he was dating girl and that made me feel very bad, but he would tell me things like “if you lived here or if i lived there we wouldnt have this problem, we would be the ones dating” or “im sorry i know this isnt fair, but we have to do it” and he also wanted me to move with him so we would just talk about the future or just times where we would be able to be together and i would forget about her. he also told me he didnt really like her (less harsh, but that was the jist) or she didnt really like him or anything that told me they were not that serious. he also would indirectly tell me that when he moves to his new city after graduation we would be together and he wouldnt be with her, it would be us and he’s just with her for the time being bc it would be weird to live next to each other and “breakup” for “no apparent reason” (meaning, he didnt want to tell his gf he has been cheating and just go off to be with me). well, fast forward again and virgo man moves to new city (july). i come to find out that he never broke up with other girl and so i had to call her and tell her that he has been cheating on her the entire duration of their relationship thus far (emotionally and sometimes sexting through the phone). then, virgo man comes to me and i apologize for “ruining their relationship” and now i assume man will not talk to me anymore, but he says no, i still want to talk to you i am not mad at you. at this time he also told me that he was sorry if he ever made me feel like he wanted a relationship from me when “he did not” he told me, “i was honest with you in january when i told you i only wanted to be friends” but that is bullshit considering all the (apparently empty) future promises and plans we made. i called him a narcissist and a compulsive liar at the time, but still tried to keep my cool and stay strong willed. and then now, i dont know what happened, but after that conversation, he ignored me for two days and then straight up blocked me on all social medias (after he told me he wanted to continue our conversation “later”). now, we’ve been in no contact for 15 days and im just confused. i want to say that i still feel this connection and energetic pull to him like i did in the past, but to me it just feels like hanging on, i just want to try to move on from this feeling. i do definitely still feel like he wont be gone though and i definitely still feel an energetic tie together, but i dont want to put false feelings into my head and make me think something that isnt there. to me, i almost feel like me and virgo man were a karmic relationship in that he taught me 1,000% how to love myself, he showed me my self worth, and he showed me that i can be loved and that i am worthy of a partner and he is meant to be gone. but i also think the lines are a little blurry. during the entire 11 month relationship i had with virgo man we had a lot of highs and lows, but i would attest that to him pulling away from me and then coming back, making me extremely confused and thrown off balance. i also get confused because he literally tried to date another woman, but couldnt let me go. he never did not NOT talk to me any day that he was dating her, and its not really like he got anything out of doing that, we just talked about our days and life and anything under the sun while flirting and being close and whatnot (sexting maybe once or twice a month). its just, i have this similar feeling from christmas that like, he is not gone but it seems like on his part that it is over. it just doesn’t FEEL over, but i cant tell if im giving myself false hope or not. I also get extremely angry bc I know he knew how i felt about him and if he “only wanted friendship from me” he should have been more clear and not have lead me on for fun. it took me a very long time to realize that he was playing a game with me, keeping me around for whatever selfish need he needed fulfilled, or a nice stroke of the ego or i dont know, but it was extremely hurtful. he is a narcissist, compulsive liar who has a deep seeded fear of being alone. he doesnt even know that he is his worst enemy in love. i told him i feel very sorry for him because he doesnt know how to value people and he keeps ruining his own connections by his selfish ways. I also want to point out that he had EXTREMELY toxic relationships with all of his ex’s- there even is a twitter hate group dedicated to just a whole string of women and men who have been either directly (women) or indirectly (men who’s gf’s cheated with him) by him. they all state similar things that i had encountered. his ex was constantly being cheated on by him and he would always have other girls that he was sexting during their relationship too. I dont know how i actually encountered the worst human on earth, but i am very upset i did. I loved him a lot a lot, i would always tell him that, but apparently we were only ever just friends. This man lead me on so hard and I just dont know why. I am so mad i want to hurt him, but i have let that thought go since I know he will ALWAYS hurt himself more than i ever could.