oh btw I didnt put his year or my birthday does it matter...btw thanks

hiya Captain, could you help me on this b4 I take it any further, capricorn man January 11th, I've known him for a year n something months Its like on and off with him how I feel about him like I now all of a sudden like him now. and I'm considering to be with him seen as though he has shown me love unlike the other jacka$$ Gemini .

Gem-guy did a disappearing act, he isnt on msn, he closed of his fb, and that other account where the form discussions were at, he said good bye to them I saw it even tho i dont log in, but I'm shocked I think he took my advice to stop going on the internet and to get out there, but I'm hurt if he just left me hanging with out saying good bye or to tell me he would contact me soon, or that he wants nothing to do with me. Kinda felt upset gave him a off-line message, hasnt got back to me unless he has blocked me and has no way of seeing it. Miss him alot thought properly that something would have happend. wanted to cry but then I had nothing to cry about or had nothing to really say.

like I'm I being silly if I have a problem with internet dating, cos to me it seems like the only way to get my self laid lol, I cant put my self into thinking its actually okay, he had no problem about it, but he knew I did, my only problem about the relationship was that we first talked on the net.

nothing much has happend with me tho, I've got the job and well its sooooo hard working there fed up really, I get all giddy when its friday. cant wait until I get paid, I believe thats when all my confidence would start, with a new out fit of many too choose,and finally getting out there, I kinda wonder if I would fall out of like with him, cos its taken so bloody long with me, I want to have a next relationship and not have him in my mind at all and wonder what or how I could of fixed it, cos his character is sooo hard to forget, and of who he is how comfortable ive gotten with him, i like the fact i can make fun of him and he is perfectly fine about it..... Oh yeah I gave gem-guys friend my number lol, we had a quick chat through text, soon or later gona make it happen lol.

how cute with u and sag girl, already at that stage, but I think you both need to say it to each other, maybe you should make the first move saying it to her first, your the man, remember lol.cant wait to have that seems fun . so have u and sag-girl dated outside for dinner or ur still on the low with ur relationship.......

I dont know but does this seem like caring or advice thing going on here, well I lied to gem guy i was smoking we-ed with my friend, he said wait what you smoke weed now, i was like eh did i tell u that, then he went its disgusting and it isnt appealing plus i told him i wouldnt then he said good mizzzlibra u got a job now and ur gona carry on with education dont do that. so later on I asked him.

me- what would be wrong if I smoked

*life's pretty boring

him- dont smoke please

me- it doesnt help now my friend is smoking and doing weed to

*sucks man

him-i dont think you shud

me- *I wont now but u know u never know the future

him- i hope u dont

*u better than that

thought it was funny shouldnt even bother him since im not his girl or friend. for some strange reason his nice to me and giving me compliments and advice.

well I dont like my job lol, the staff members are bi-tches.

quickly gem-guy are still talking guess what, he was telling me he had a girlfriend for the last two months but they broke up, but guess what he used the same excuse story of why they broke up which he had the same problem with his ex gf of 2 years, my lord gem-guy lies out of his teeth he has a problem doctor lol. i told him isnt that the same problem of ur ex of 2 years, he ignored me and kept going. so gem-guy also has been a bad boy, he can go to jail, is still straggling with finding a career, family issues also.

also i re-added him on fb, he saw that his friend was my friend on fb, so he was like u and him are friends on fb, then I ignored him, then he said it again how the fu-ck you know him, but I ignored him again, btw I dont care gona do the whole thing my plan, it isnt about gem-guy if it does hurt his self esteem tough, dont like him like that anymore, but i need to meet new people so the group thang is a good idea, might find the one during that.

cant believe you still might have something for libra girl, well you know if you watch that movie 500 days of summer you and I can relate to it, just cos you have things in common with someone doesnt mean they are the one.

Lol I hardly even made sense, well now I'm rashing into typing this out lol, omg I finally have a job now, and well its really weird to say it. cant wait to go shopping, I feel more confident now, that I can help myself and family, and now I can get a life be more social and feel confident with my self knowing I can pay for myself out and for my belongings.

gem-guy is up and down, I never know with him, I did give him a message on fb saying good bye have a good life, and then he asked a question, cos we were friends on fb for only 10 mins, cos he private his wall, so I got pis-sied off, he is making it way to uncomfortable, and even on msn, he would say one thing and quickly log out, then randomly he said hi and signed out, that was the same time when I took him of fb. but for some strange reason we are still talking but his being more nicer just like when I first started talking to him, like I almost cant believe it. giving me compliments on my intelligence and calling me Cinderella which in the slang term is beautiful girl who stays at home or that I'm waiting for my prince to safe me. he for a change gave me advice randomly, I feel soooo bad for him, he got kicked out of his flat, and well it makes me meeting up with his friend hard to do lol, cos well what worse of a job can I do when he has already got a messed up self esteem, wanted to pay him bk for what he did. and your right it is a bi-tch move lol, reasons why i wont exactly do it well i got a whole month to think to do it, until i get payed.

u and jen, there is alot of things you do need to get out of your chest but remember she doesnt want you and what she has to say could be confussing, like you can never understand a person but you can only work to get along with them. if jen said she wanted you, hopfuly you would think twice about it, and think is it worth it, but at the end of the day, the mind is always over powered by the heart, and it seems to me you have a bigger connection with jen, then sag girl well properly both of the at the same time, which is the worst thing. its good that sag girl can see you'll be a good father, she properly was day dreaming about you and her children lol yes we girls are weird like that.

gem-guy and I dont know, nothing will happen with us, so I should learn to forget it, makes it hard that he always comes bk to me, and wont let go, hopfuly within a month I'll find someone at least, cos I cant keep liking him still from now until the summer, cos it wod be extre pressure to move on and actually learn to like someone else and love them, but now his being sweet and stuff and I dont know I even feel more sorry for him, cos I feel i need to support him as his girlfriend and care for him, which is pis-sing me off, I wanted to turn away thats why i said good bye and stuff, but then he gave me a reply bk.

its good to know you and sag girl are getting along great but you have to know that you dont need anyones approval, like your mum shes always going to have a problem with a gf of yours, its up to you to actually talk her way in, and tell her sag girl makes u happy and u see a future with her. hopfuly soon enough I'll get that great relationship and enjoy life now, that I got a job and I can be independent now,,,yaaaay im soo happy now, lol and im praying this reply actually makes sense, cos im half asleep now i start at 7'45, gota always get ready at 6 now. chit chat soon

Well gem-guy has atleast 10 faces, so I was upset when he said nothing was going to happen, when he kept saying he was sorry over and over again, saying I was good to him so on. so we were talking for days typing essay's to each other. but then it all stoped on monday after my last novel lol, cos i wanted to get things of my chest and confront him.

Me---of topic, why did you even go through the last argument and read over it, why did you even have to apologise and actually get almas to tell me, cos obviously its you, your not one to ever feel sorry I dont know just that I thought I'd be a Nothing to you, and now we are here again talking, like I know you dont want to be my friend and nither do I. your obviously never gona like me more, even tho I'm better then you lol. I dont know I just feel its like a year from now and we are still in the same chapter your missing your ex and I'm giving you free therapy like I find it annoying cos why should I give advice waste all my time and know 99% of the time nothing is gona go forward in this lil thing we have. like either you tell me now honestly what is it you want besides being lonely and depressive, I find it unfair that you want me to listen to you wine and up and go. like you dont want to get attached yet you couldnt last a few months with out talking to me, like yeah I dont mind talking to you, I find you funny and stuff but the thought that I am like your therapist or could be your rebound makes me upset. like I know your alone and stuff pisses me of that you know I'll care to be there for you, but I dont want to care for anyone knowing they dont care about me. fuck sakes like its been a year, do you get my drift like wtf. yeah also your not adding me on fb, I have a feeling you'll say talking on msn would be uncomfortable, so its obvious its a few ears you want so you can take things of your chest and then not want to talk to me for no reason. plus I'm not pissed of just wondering like all that saying you dont want to talk to me and then me being the only person you can turn too, like I acted all cool like it didnt bother me but this is pushing it what are you playing at. I dont know was it a mistake you think you made and realized. like what is it you want from me what is it you want me to be? ( bare in mind I typed alot alot lool this is just little bit of my novel)

Him- whats funny is, i was thinking to read a novel today walahi. never knew it would be on facebook...

miss-libra i apologised to you, because when i m by myself, i go over shit in my life. I dont know you came into it, so i reread our convos, and i realised it was pretty rude so i apologised to clear my conscious. never knew it would end up like this. and you're not a rebound, i think my ex is the rebound..lol...but fuck it, i think my problem is, because i dont wanna meet anyone else, or have the patience, i always go back to her....also, it is a little issue, but we both think our views are right, and wont change, so it is a big thing then.

and as for how long i known her, i think it is 6 years, but it was only proper dating and shit for maybe 2 years? i dont know, i known her so long, its hard to even recall. she been ever present...

and miss-libra, you can add me on msn and sh-it...but its on you...honestly, i dont think its fair on you, and i m sorry for doing it to you. i m just in a bad place...its going to have to be you to end this whole sh-it and tell me to fuck off i suppose... theres more i wanted to say, but i m not reading all that again lol

( well guess what I'm gona do, his friend is digging me, we'll talk for awhile on face maybe like 2 weeks when I'm busy and stuff, I'll move on to fone, see gem-guy's friend is my friend on fb and so is gem-guys other friend who added my friend on fb, so what I'll do it mention it set a group date....now I dont think gem-guy would be jealous but his self esteem would be knocked out of the window, thats what I want, cos I remember when we last saw each other he beged to have a group date, I'll have to ask his friend to only invite dark skined guys lol, properly at the end of the night I have a feeling my friends would ask for a left home, and his friends always call him to use his car, but all this is just to make him feel insecure, cos why didnt I want to go when he asked me why did i make excuse that i didnt have friends.....he also before had a problem when his friend added me and he said dont they know your my girl....I even remember my friend saying give up on gem-guy he isnt coming back, I said he will, the guy is very intelligent and has 10 faces, ive learnt about a few of them, but thing is when i do agree we shouldnt talk he comes bk, but gem-guy has pushed my button, he hasnt played my game yet, denying and lying. if he askes how i know his friend i'll just say its a small world.... evil grins

do you feel you can see sag girl as your wife, or being together longer then 2 years? its good you made a good impression, as for libra girl damn i feel so sorry for her so sad i dont want to end up like that. at all.

OMG he reply back to me I was sh-iting my self for real omg, lol this what he said, " yeh i read our convo again. i could see why you got mad. it was pretty rude. whats done is done. i live with my dumb choices. peace, and I'm gona reply this "I'll be honest I wasn't mad on what you said to me, it was shocking but nothing to get angry about, I was mad on another matter though, we are human we are going to make mistakes." cant believe he got back to me quickly aswell, he said peace I'm hoping he didnt mean good bye we arent gona talk no more i wanted to make peace speech. cos then that is like effing around my mind just abit. cos i wod think the reason why he said it after months was to sort things out and have me back in his life.

Lol I was talking to my friend she wasnt so open with the fact she thought gem-guy was crazy, I wana know what she meant by that, but she said he is just crazy so it didnt help much there are many types of crazy lol. I sent him in his inbox saying apology accepted, and thats it lol, I screamed like a little girl, when I sent it damn. wonder if he would reply back or just leave it. my friend said he still has the hot's for me if he corrected his mistake and wanted me to know he said sorry. I'll properly would want to see him or chat with him. I could just forget that I have no fricking job at the moment and just save money to buy a cute outfit. I havent spoken to his friends since that day lol, properly is working and im not on the net longer hours like i used to, only put up with it to talk to gem guy extre hours lol.

do you think you'll get to the point in talking to libra girl and ask her what happend lol?

you know what I want to meet gem guys friend soon or later lol, and properly would set up a hang out with his friends and mines.....hopfuly or not gem guy would be there but it would be funny tho, I'll make my self look soooo Hot that night and I'd have to be extre highper lol.

Interesting with the libra girl, lol, she's soo lost, you know I hate those type of people when they have something so good and be blind of what's in front of them, poor her. I wonder if she is thinking about you, but wished she had that spark with you then, but some ppl later grow feelings for a person later on like me and gem, he liked me I more of shrugging my shoulders when I thought about him. did you end up talking to her ex bf?

its cute you and sag girl are at that stage where its romantic, you need that, it should only be based on enjoying each others company and having fun. its good she has trust on you and you can see shes trying with you.

Oh about Gem-guy, his friend added me long ago on fb, but I didnt accpect him at all lol, then later a few days ago i accpected him lol, he didnt remember me of course, he asked and said who are u? I said i cod ask u the same thing, u added me. and he was like no way did i, i went no tom did it... then he laughed he told me we would carry on with this funny convo, obviously i was being random lol. so I'll chat with him later on, funny thing about gem-guy he went and told my friend he was sorry of what he said in our last conversation together and that it was stupid. finally I win lol. I was missing him alot and wanted to re-add him again but I just couldnt cos of the last convo when he made it clear, plus I just want to get myself together, with my look, and money/job. I'll add him then. plus I'll talk to his friend once in awhile lol, I wonder how long it wod take gem-guy to realize im talking to his friend lol. but i wouldnt do anything with his friend. and I dont want to talk to gem-guy, I know he hasnt got a job and he properly would mix his emotions and anger with me again, like I have my own issues I'm messed up. I've got to wait this monday hopfuly I would get the job if not my hunting will start again.